The Free Beer and Hot Wings Morning Show

Monday, September 06, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Monday, September 6, 2010

The show was off today for Labor Day weekend and will be back live on Tuesday. Today's best-of show included the following segments: Dirt cookies in Haiti, Adding a chick to the show, Zane's wife's Kid Rock obsession, Zane crucified over the Knights of Columbus, Opposite sex names, Eric Zane feats of strength and Green Day Gary bashing, Car talk with expert Hot Wings, Zane's wife is not internet savvy, Producer Joe's Stranger Danger, Zane sings Fever, Hot Wings smelly water and burnt food, Zane's daughter's fundraiser, Tiny Tim's Christmas song and a spontaneous Hot Wings impression People who listen but hate us and Porno Producer Joe. Talk to you on Tuesday morning!

Sunday, September 05, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Sun, 05 Sep 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Sunday, September 5, 2010

That's right, folks. Sunday content from the Free Beer and Hot Wings Show! Today, Free Beer did the play-by-play coverage of the Texas Tech/SMU football game in Lubbock, Texas. VIP members can download the broadcast in both the Full Podcast and Segmented Podcast versions. Download and enjoy! The show is off Monday for the Labor Day holiday. Steve's got best-of on Monday. Talk to you then!

Friday, September 03, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Friday, September 3, 2010

The show is off Friday and Monday for Labor Day weekend and will be back live on Tuesday. Today's best-of show included the following segments: Free Beer is a movie dork a-hole, I'm in big trouble today because ___________, What is a bro?, Hot Wings' dad's attire at his party, Listeners that had parents perform home surgeries, Producer Joe's Hobo Rap Battle, Pube Face's parent stop in for a visit, Hot Wings tells time by looking at the sun, Intern rap battle, Jimmy Buffet sucks, The Walkin' on Sunshine chick, Conventional and unconventional crushes, How did you embarrass yourself showing off, Kurt Busch ebay sales and Family Feud - Zane's family vs. Free Beer's family. Have a good Labor Day weekend. Talk to you on Monday!

Thursday, September 02, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Hour 1
Free Beer started the show by telling us about a guy that had the company that makes real dolls essentially recreate his ex girlfriend. He was even very meticulous about the fingernails. We all agreed that he is a serial killer-to-be. We went over a list of the ways people misdiagnose themselves using medical websites. Apparently it's pretty common to think you're dying when in actuality, you have just a minor issue.

Hour 2
Intern Butthead Lautner was sold out by his roommates when they showed some hot chicks down the hall the videos of him being a retarded honk laugher on our show. They also showed them the videos of him being hypnotized. Zane busted out some rock solid logic aimed towards his wife, but got nothing close to a "you're right", which is something he always gives her when she does the same. She doesn't want to go camping this weekend, so he gave her all the great reasons to go. He got absolutely no response. Listener Caleb called in for advice about his relationship. He's thinking about marrying a girl with three kids that were fathered by a drug addicted loser. The consensus seemed to be that he should stay far away. Free Beer went to the mall yesterday to get his watch battery replaced. The guy at the kiosk was so impressed with his watch that he offered to buy it from him. We're convinced that the guy switched his watch with a cheap one and was chopping his dollar.

Hour 3
We went over a list of the 14 most brutal hazing rituals that happen on college campuses. Some people just do way too much to try and fit in. The rituals included binge drinking, physical abuse and also mental abuse. In the Cool Links section, you'll see a list of the 50 stupidest questions people asked to Yahoo Answers. The stupidity of some people was absolutely astonishing.

Hour 4
The 9/11 rock/musical "Clear Blue Tuesday" hits selected theaters tomorrow. We watched the trailer for it and it seemed like it would be a decent movie, if not for the rock/musical aspect of it. We don't predict good things for it's success. In today's FBHW Report, we talked about the guy in NYC that tried to commit suicide by jumping off the 39th floor of his building. He somehow lived, even though he crashed through the roof of a woman's Dodge Charger and landed in the back seat. We also talked about the Discovery Channel gunman and took a call from some douche saying that we should be more sympathetic towards him. We closed the hour with a round of Dumber Than Zane Trivia. Daniel in Nashville was the contestant, competing for $1,600.

Hour 5
There's new video of the Chilean miners. They appear to be having the time of their lives and are doing great, even though they're trapped a half mile underground with no prospects of getting out any time before Christmas. Our old friend Bear, the double rainbow guy, has hit the big time. He's in a Microsoft commercial for some new camera technology that they have out. We closed the show with a round of Name That Blank. We're off Friday and Monday. Steve's got best-of covered. Have a good weekend and we'll talk to you on Tuesday!

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Hour 1
Free Beer told us this morning about an article that he read on some green website that listed foods that people throw out because they think they're bad. The article then told us how long past the expiration date those foods can in fact be eaten. Zane is going back to him and his dad's old stomping grounds when they go camping this weekend. His dad wants to give them a .22 rifle, but it hasn't been cleaned and serviced in 20 years. We predicted that there would be backfires and gunpowder burns.

Hour 2
Hurricane Earl is bearing down on the east coast. It's supposed to hit land somewhere in the Carolinas and make its way all the way up to Maine. Free Beer was offered ANOTHER play-by-play opportunity with Compass Media Networks! This only furthered our talk of him eventually leaving us to be a play-by-play guy. We took the opportunity to talk about our hopes for a player on one of the teams named Chuck Focker. This would be fuel for some great word scrambles! We went over a list of 12 health myths according to CNN.com. You can see that list in the Cool Links section.

Hour 3
We came across an article that told the true, very sad stories of people who get roped in to magazine sales. Surprisingly, it's not all glitz and glamour like you may imagine. Many of them get beaten up by bosses, get hooked on meth and end up stranded with no way home! A brush fire in California was started recently when a golfer's club hit a rock causing a spark. The spark ignited the dry grass and it ended up burning over 12 acres of hillside! We talked about the video that is burning up the internet right now of the girl throwing puppies into a river. Everyone in the world wants this girl dead.

Hour 4
In the Cool Links section, you'll see the news story we talked about this morning of the Indian woman who has a very strange relationship with a calf. The calf's mother died, so this woman is raising it on her own. It's really strange. In today's FBHW Report, we focused solely on President Obama's speech from last night. We talked about the whole "Mission Accomplished" debacle from years ago and took a few calls on the topic. Hurricane Earl is coming. If you're in that area, just re-use the plywood that you've used in the past. There's no need to buy new plywood.

Hour 5
At a practice for the Miami Dolphins, one of the idiot players lost a diamond earing on one of the two practice fields. He and some teammates got down on their hands and knees to look for it for hours! Based on this segment, we took calls from people to find out what the most expensive thing they ever lost was. One guy lost an engagement ring, and one guy lost a game piece that would have made him a one million dollar winner! To close out the show, we talked about the news story of the power lifting 8 year old girl, as well as a list of the obvious things that make men and women think differently. Talk to you on Thursday!

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Hour 1
We started the show by talking about the list of the most bankable stars in Hollywood. This quickly turned into an assault on Glen Close, who now has a remarkable resemblance to Robocop. After talking about a story of a woman who burned herself on over half her body with a magnifying glass, Free Beer told us how he and his buddies used to hold kids down and torture them by burning them the same way. Yet one more layer of Free Beer's "down on the farm" youth has been revealed!

Hour 2
Yesterday, Zane told us about his dad's eye issues. He gave us an update today. Even though his eye is sewn shut, it is not slowing him down at all. He's still driving and insists on making pirate references whenever possible. Yoko Ono did some awful performance art recently at the MOMA in NYC. It was basically her screaming into a microphone. A Wendy's cook pulled a knife on another employee because he tried to serve bacon that was dropped on the floor. This reminded us of another epic fight at work story in which Zane's wife got in a fight with one of the cooks at the restaurant she worked at.

Hour 3
Based on a Cosmo article, we asked listeners how many times a year a man should cry. We took a bunch of calls from people that have cried at something that was pretty pathetic. Producer Joe also revealed a very embarrassing crying moment that happened to him recently. We gave teachers a chance to call in anonymously this morning and tell their student's parents the things they've always wanted to tell them, but never could.

Hour 4
We've always heard rumors of Butthead Lautner's disgusting "goose laugh", but had never heard it. During a segment today, he started laughing in Steve's booth and it was captured on video. We played it back to him, trying to get him to laugh again. You can see the video on the Show Videos page. In today's FBHW Report, we talked about Roger Clemens and his denial about taking performance enhancing drugs. The new Dancing With the Stars cast has been announced. It's a bunch of nobody's. This segment was dominated by talk on Jennifer Grey's giant nose.

Hour 5
We played back the audio of BL's laugh again, and this time we successfully got him to laugh on air! It's ridiculous. A 21 year old guy tried to enroll in middle school as a 14 year old so he could play football. According to everyone involved, he looked and acted like a 14 year old kid. Rick Sanchez called Obama "the cotton-pickin' president" and immediately apologized for it. This reminded us of some of this other gaffs about volcanoes and the location of Hawaii. We closed the show by going over a list of cars that you should be embarrassed to drive. Check out that list in the Cool Links section. Talk to you on Wednesday.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Monday, August 30, 2010

Hour 1
Zane started off the morning by telling us about his dad's medical problems. He had a growth on his lower eyelid and had to have it removed. Unfortunately, they cut too much off and he now has his eye sewn shut! That's awful! A Summer's Eve advertisement in Women's Day magazine was giving advice to women on how to get a raise at work. You may be surprised at the advice that they gave. You can see that in the Cool Link section. This led to talk on some of the women that work here and hilarity ensued. We closed the break by talking about the hoarder that was missing for four months and was found in her house.

Hour 2
We checked out the video of the worst football play ever, which you can see in the Video Reel. As practice, we had Free Beer call the play as he would during a live broadcast, since he will be doing play-by-play this weekend for the Texas Tech/SMU game. Free Beer and his dogs put on a little show for the neighborhood over the weekend when they were inadvertently caught in a sprinkler while on a walk. We went over CNN's list of the most dangerous jobs and what they pay. On the list were such professions as loggers, iron workers and fishermen.

Hour 3
We recapped the Emmy's from last night. Ricky Gervais stole the show. Zane told us about his big triathlon weekend in Chicago. It was brutally hot and of course, he had numerous problems. One of his problems in particular was pretty ridiculous! He then told us that he's had to lower the boom at his house because his kids and their boyfriends/girlfriends pretty much lay on each other. He told them that he "wants to see all fingers at all times". NFL prospect Tony Washington was discussed this morning. An article was written recently suggesting that the only thing keeping him out of the NFL was the fact that he banged his sister. Seriously.

Hour 4
A recent study said that 64% of young women would release a sex tape if it would further their careers. We got a bunch of women on the phone to question them about this same thing. We also asked them if they would blackmail their boss to get ahead at work. In today's FBHW Report, we talked about the panic on the British Airways flight after a terrifying announcement was made, as well as Paris Hilton being arrested for coke possession. Three of our former interns that do their own podcast (Wiener 2, Andy 2 Times and Lurch) decided to read thank you letters to the show in their latest show. They were really funny so we shared them with the listeners. Nice job guys!

Hour 5
Glenn Beck held his big rally over the weekend. We discussed Palin's comments, as well as Al Sharpton being completely against it. We also focused on Sharpton's incredible ability to sound exactly like B.B. King. We also talked about a story where a guy tried to pay his hefty property tax bill with pennies, just to stick it to the man. This reminded us of the famous producer Joe stunt, Pennies for Rubbers. We replayed that and man, it stands the test of time! Talk to you on Tuesday morning.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Friday, August 27, 2010

Hour 1
Golfer Jim Furyk was disqualified from The Barclays tournament after oversleeping yesterday's Pro-Am start time by six minutes. Reports say that he showed up at the tee with no socks on, shoes untied and his shirt half tucked in. A kid told his girlfriend that her family was in danger of being killed by drug dealers unless she had sex with him. She did, proving she was even more stupid than he was. A guy who tried swimming through the Monterey Bay was stung a ton of times by jellyfish. He was even stung in the tongue, which we agreed had to be extremely painful. Based on this, we talked about shark attacks and how stupid the ocean is.

Hour 2
Actor C. Thomas Howell was in the building yesterday. We checked out his IMDB page and then mocked him and his entire career after realizing that all he does are knockoff genre movies. Coming up with possible movie titles proved to be great fun. Producer Joe busted into the office yesterday during a meeting whistling loudly. This was just hours after he mentioned how annoying it was that a co-worker constantly did that around the station. For some reason, we started talking about the contest that the radio station did a few years ago, Hold Your Wee for a Wii, where contestant died. This led to some talk about the nutty bits that the guys used to do, the awful setup of their studio and Pete Michaels the traffic guy who would belittle his assistant who was a bit slow.

Hour 3
After talking about bad bits in the last break, we busted out one of our own called Quad Smash! During this segment, Zane had one of the quickest and most obvious brain farts ever. It was remarkable. Tony Danza has a new show that will be on TV soon. He's a teacher at a New Beginnings-like school. Our friend and former intern Benercrombie is the cheapest person we know. He revealed to us this big undertaking that he recently went through to save himself about 10 bucks. We then busted his balls on the fact that he invited all of us to his BBQ, but then told us all to bring our own food.

Hour 4
Based on Benercrombie's cheapness, we took calls from listeners who thought they could top it. We have some cheap listeners! In today's FBHW Report, we talked about what they plan to do with all of the recalled eggs, as well as the new cast of Dancing With the Stars. We got four female listeners on the phone for another round of the very popular Women's Forum. They fielded a bunch of listeners-submitted questions with ease.

Hour 5
We checked out the video this morning of the Chilean miners who have been stranded for a few weeks now. They all looked remarkably alert and happy. There's been a new world's largest tumor removed from someone. A woman had a 51 pound tumor removed from her! This, of course, turned into tumor face talk and viewing. Free Beer wants to get a new salt water aquarium. Hot Wings refused to help him move the old aquariums, as he has already helped him move them about 18 different times. We closed the show with a round of Name That Blank and another round of Quad Smash! Have a good weekend. Talk to you on Monday.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Hour 1
Zane and Producer Joe had a little trouble at running school the other day. They were trying to run at the local high school, but apparently it was big game week so the coach of the football team had chained and locked the gates to the track. It was a major pain to get the gates unlocked because the coach and athletic director thought they were spies from the rival high school. Two movies are coming out soon that we're pretty sure not many people will want to see. One of them is about the cat who could predict deaths at a nursing home.

Hour 2
Zane went to a baseball game last night and was seated next to a major baseball nerd. He was cheering for simple outs and getting pissed at the radio play-by-play call (which he was obviously listening to on his headphone radio). Zane is a huge Jamey Johnson fan. His older music is a little different than it is now. Zane played us a song that was pretty depressing about a son that wanted to give his dad 65 cents just to play with him. It made everyone sad.

Hour 3
There are a ton of new links and videos on the website today. We watched the video of the Mayor in Canada who was playing in a charity soccer game and accidentally booted some little kid square in the face! We also watched a very awkward interview with a Mayoral candidate in Providence where the dude sings the host of the show an awful song. Producer Joe managed to get him on the phone and he was unable to answer simple questions, which really irritated Zane. Free Beer's wife's friend was told by her husband that he would cheat on her if she wasn't having sex with him enough. We asked listeners to call in and tell us whether or not they thought that little sex was justification for cheating. Janebo called in to tell us that she's in the same boat!

Hour 4
In today's FBHW Report, we talked about the comments from Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren now that their divorce is final. We also talked about the record breaking 60 mile long traffic jam in China that somehow disappeared overnight! Cynthia in Tennessee was the contestant this morning on Dumber Than Zane Trivia, worth $1,200!

Hour 5
We went over a list of all of the new deep fried foods from the Texas State Fair. Every single one of them sounded incredible and we're considering getting another fryer for the studio. In the last segment, we started talking about the clerical error that cost the state of NJ $400M in education funding. Steve checked in, being that he's from NJ. He was attacked via email by a listener and then everything got all topsy turvy and Producer Joe ended up taking a beating for some reason. Talk to you on Friday!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Hour 1
Producer Joe was not here at the beginning of the show today. We assumed that he had just slept in so the bashing began. We decided not to call and wake him up. It was also discussed how awkward it would be if he was actually dead or injured in some way. Michael Jordan's son lost about 27 grand while gambling recently. After the math was done, this basically equated to the average person losing about 30 bucks. That's pretty crazy.

Hour 2
Joe finally made it in late in the first hour, so we discussed his tardiness at great length. When he first arrived, he was a bit fussy because no one called him to wake him up. We played a game of Paired With an Idiot today and qualified another listener for a chance to win the refurbished laptop.

Hour 3
We came across the audio of a horse race at Monmouth Park in NJ yesterday where two of the horses were named "My Wife Knows Everything" and "My Wife Doesn't Know". The call of the final stretch of the race was pretty funny. We got an email from a listener that said she wished she had a gun when a man broke into her house while she was sleeping. When she confronted the guy, his story was that he was there to fix the heater (even though he was rummaging through her underwear drawer when he said this). He ended up just walking out. Former American Idol contestant Fantasia apparently tried to commit suicide recently. Many are speculating that it was an attempt to drum up publicity for her new album. Free Beer had a rough word scramble day today. We talk about the possibility of him doing the same when he calls the two football games he'll be doing next month. Some possible word combinations were discussed that would be very awkward. Some perv was banned from a grocery store for pointing at the big chicken breasts and saying that he "likes the big ones". Nice job, idiot.

Hour 4
Based on the story of the guy being banned from the grocery store, we took calls from listeners that were banned from places as well. In the Video Reel, you can watch a bunch of new videos we talked about this morning including the skydiver getting stuck on the flag pole at the Texas Rangers game and the Governor Patterson word slip up. We took calls from people to try and find the person that had the worst dating resume. Some of the calls that we got were pretty incredible.

Hour 5
Lindsay Lohan has been released from rehab and we're convinced that it is all because of Producer Joe's Freedom Trip. We relived some of the greatest moments from the trip on the show this morning. A recent study has shown that doing too much for friends and family can actually be bad for you. We somehow got on the tangent of former show stalker and no neighbor of Zane, Kendall. His general retardedness was discussed at length. Since Joe was late this morning, he didn't have time to take a shower. He stinks. Steve has bad breath. Things aren't looking good for the producers today. Talk to you on Thursday morning!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Hour 1
As the games rapidly approach, Free Beer is preparing more and more for the play-by-play that he will be doing for our syndicator, Compass Media Networks. He talked to his partner for the broadcasts last night, Curtis Conway, and had to explain why he was referred to as "Free Beer". Some Danish dudes built the biggest homemade rocket ever that will blast off soon. It is being launched from a submarine, which is also the largest homemade sub. This got us on the topic of the Danish music industry, as well as other dumb cultures that will never be as good as ours.

Hour 2
Zane borrowed Hot Wings' truck yesterday and came in this morning marveling at some of the things that Hot Wings carries around with him on a regular basis. Some of the items include hand sanitizer, winter gloves and an orange traffic vest. We revealed to intern Rape Stache early on today what his responsibilities would be for today's Joe Stunt, the Egg Street Team! We played some audio from the Illinois State Fair hog calling contest. You can see the disasters that competed in this contest in the Cool Links section. Intern Butthead Lautner introduced Zane to his dad over the weekend at a bike race they were both at. His dad doesn't really approve of some of the stuff that has happened on the show since BL started. A recent survey was done that asked Americans what their dream job would be. You can take the poll on our homepage as well!

Hour 3
The Today Show recently had an awkward conversation about the word "suck" and whether or not it was appropriate to use it on TV or not. They were talking about the box office numbers for the movie "Vampires Suck". For even having this conversation, they do indeed suck. We played some audio from the show Scream Queens that when played out of context, sounds very dirty. You can see the video in the Video Reel. We went over a list of strange things that Americans believe in such as ghosts, Obama being a Muslim and dinosaurs and people roaming the earth at the same time. There are too many idiots in this world. Based on the Roger Clemens/steroid news story and the fact that Andy Pettite's testimony could send him to jail, we took calls from listeners about the things that they knew that could get friends or family members sent to jail.

Hour 4
Producer Joe started out his stunt by painting Rape Stache to look like an egg in the studio this morning. His entire top half was white and he had a big yellow yolk in the middle of his chest. VIP members got to view this on the webcam! We talked about one of the dumbest inventions to date, the Snazzy Napper. You can see the video in the Video Reel. In this morning's FBHW Report, we talked about "The Situation's" big payday, the crazy car crash caught on a dash cam, and Tiger's divorce being final. To close out the hour, Producer Joe was out on the street with the Egg Street Team (Rape Stache) to drum up some excitement about eggs since they've gotten a bad rap recently.

Hour 5
While talking about the Chilean miners and their bleak situation, Hot Wings made the prediction that it is only a matter of time before they resort to gay sex. This seemed like a very logical possibility. To close out the show, we played the audio from Candy Beard's intern-view that he did with author Fran Greene on his last day with the show yesterday. Have a good day. Talk to you on Wednesday.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Monday, August 23, 2010

Hour 1
The Saudis truly believe in the whole "eye for an eye" philosophy. They re actively looking for someone to sever a mans spine as a punishment for severing the spine of a man that he got into a fight with. In other crazy country news, Iran's new unmanned drone is called the Ambassador of Death. Even though it has this name, Iran still insists that it has a positive, peaceful message. About 2000 new words are being added to the dictionary. Some seem pointless and some seem like they're about 10 years too late.

Hour 2
Last week, Zane mentioned that he was taking shooting classes, with the goal of eventually having a concealed weapon license. We got a ton of emails about this over the weekend from "gun people" who all needed to chime in. Zane also told us this morning that he went to a Jamey Johnson concert over the weekend. During a meet and greet before the show, him and his wife got a picture with Jamey. The picture was posted to the show's Facebook page and as with anything else that we post, listeners missed the point and derailed it. Nice job! We went over a list of people, which you can see in the Cool Links section, that have made over $100K just because of their YouTube videos. Most of them are quite unfunny and pointless.

Hour 3
Pictures from a recent photo shoot showed Justin Bieber and one of the Kardashians frolicking on the beach. For whatever reason, this pissed off Bill O'Reilly and he said that if it was the other way around, everyone would say how inappropriate it was. He also said that at that age, he had no interest in girls. Bill, my friend, you are in the minority. We're just a couple weeks away from Free Beer's big play-by-play appearances. He's received many calls and emails about it and no one can grasp that he's doing the RADIO play-by-play, not TV. He also told us that he left his house this morning without shoes on and had to go home to get them. We went over a list from Cosmo of the five things that you should never tell your significant other.

Hour 4
We talked this morning about the Chilean mine collapse and how all of the miners may be stranded for a few MONTHS before rescuers can reach them! Producer Joe may have picked an intro song for the segment that didn't exactly fit with the story, and he may have been beaten up mercilessly. In this morning's FBHW Report, we talked about the NASCAR battle that is brewing between Busch and Kaselowski, as well as Brett Favre's comments in an interview with Al Michaels yesterday. We had people call in this morning to talk about goals that they had for a while, but have since given up on. We also each named our goals that we no longer find feasible.

Hour 5
While at a wedding over the weekend, Producer Joe watched the best man break down while giving his speech to the groom. He was also seated with a belligerent drunk at the wedding. Today is intern Candy Beard's last day of the shortest internship in history. He's headed back to his tech school, which we determined this morning is a massive snowcow resort. Good luck, buddy! We closed out the show by playing a bunch of American songs that are really popular choices in singing competitions in China. We played them in a Name That Tune-type format. They all sucked. Talk to you Tuesday morning!

Friday, August 20, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Friday, August 20, 2010

Hour 1
We started off the show by talking about the cleanliness of the producer's studios. Steve's is cleaner and Joe's is an electronics graveyard. We went over a list of the best driving songs ever, according to the Brits. They seem to like some very USA-centric music. A midwife that was pissed off at the awful tip she got sewed a woman's butt shut after she gave birth. We talked about how funny "butt shut" sounded. It was one of those things you had to hear, so just listen to the podcast.

Hour 2
Free Beer got some huge news yesterday. Along with his call of the Texas Tech/SMU game he will be calling in early September, he will also be calling the Lions/Eagles game on September 19th! New York Jet Antonio Cromartie was featured on a television show recently and he introduced his whole family. He has one billion kids, many of then which are three years old. He's got a bunch of different baby mama's. We went over a list of the top 10 most lucrative eating contests in the world. We took this as an opportunity to beat up the Polish and their awful sauerkraut-filled food.

Hour 3
J-Lo's assistant only makes about 50-60 grand a year, yet they are on call nearly all the time. She makes them do mundane things like change diapers at 3am and cook for her. That doesn't seem worth it for the money. This morning on the show, we talked to actor Fred Willard from Anchorman and A Mighty Wind about his new book, as well as his Emmy nominations. You can listen to that on the Interviews page. We played a clip from Louie C.K.'s show of him begging for a high schooler to not kick his ass. We then took calls from chicks who expect their man to fight for them.

Hour 4
We continued talking about chicks who want their men to fight for them, and also brought up the story of Zane fighting another radio person when he caught him tearing down our station banners. In the FBHW Report, we talked about Jennifer Aniston's "retard" comments, and also about Roger Clemens being indicted for lying to congress. After we talked about Gary Wright's Dreamweaver album, intern Ohcho Blinko found the album in the dollar bin at a record store and bought it for Steve. It took Zane all of two minutes to cut a whole where the mouth was and stick a big rubber dil through it. We talked about the manliest sports league ever, the Fight Football League. Producer Joe managed to get the creator of the sport on the phone. His name was Boris and he's from Italy. You can also listen to that in the Interviews section.

Hour 5
Zane told us this morning that he has graduated to round 2 of the gun shooting class he is taking. The first time he was there, he shot a .22. This time they busted out a glock 9mm. His plans are still to get a concealed weapon permit and carry a weapon 24/7. We closed the show with a round of Name That Blank. Have a good weekend. Talk to you on Monday morning!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Hour 1
Yesterday was picture day at the Free Beer and Hot Wings Show. For some reason, our photographer (who is awesome, by the way) forced upon us the "Keep on Truckin'" pose. None of us are really sure why. Zane's zit was also the focus and it will take an extra four days for the touch-ups to be done to the photos because of that demon growing out of his head. John Mellencamp has become an old fussy man. He said recently that the internet is the downfall of the music industry. We pulled up his music video from "Hurts So Good". THAT video is the downfall of the music industry, Mr. Mellencamp.

Hour 2
We received the awful news that intern Candy Beard will be leaving us next week already. This brought up the idea that we have kicked around a few times about an intern mixer or prom. Maybe one day! It was especially funny talking about the slipper beast that interned here for about three days. Rod called in wanting advice on what to do about his one buddy who is sleeping with his other buddy's girlfriend. This morning, we talked to actor and comedian David Koechner, who played Champ Kind in Anchorman. He talked about the possibility of a new Anchorman movie and also plugged his upcoming gig at Zanies in Nashville.

Hour 3
Zane has a school shooter in the family. He's talked about that before, but this time, the focus was on the school shooter's sister. She made a Facebook post recently about wanting to "end it all". He then revealed to us that this was the same girl that would go to town on the arm of a chair when she was four years old. Her parents just brush it off like it's no big deal. Free Beer's are becoming the smelly kids in school. They go for days at a time without bathing and just use deodorant to mask the stench. We took some calls from former smelly kids on the subject. Two girls in Virginia traded sex for rent then and then blackmailed the landlord with threats of showing his wife the sex tape they secretly made. They are now being charged with extortion. You can read that article in the Cool Link section.

Hour 4
We played some audio of Brett Favre's press conference yesterday where he talked about coming back to play this year. As Free Beer put it, he is the quarterback who cried wolf and no one will believe a thing he says about his retirement at this point. In today's FBHW Report, we talked about troops leaving Iraq, and also Dr. Laura's comments about leaving her radio show had been in the cards for a while. We closed out the hour with Dumber Than Zane Trivia, worth $800.

Hour 5
We watched the video of the bull that went into the stands at a bullfight and injured a bunch of people. Steve was beaten up during this segment for having been to a bullfight when he was in Spain a bunch of years ago. Somehow we started talking about Butthead Lautner's upside-down smile. We had him come in to the studio, stand on a chair and "smile" in front of the webcam so viewers could see it. You can also see that video in the Show Videos section. We discussed the double standard in the new movie Eat Pray Love. If a guy did the same thing the main character in the movie (who happens to be a woman), he would be thrown under the bus very quickly. While talking about a list of the nine athletes who are more redneck than Kenny Powers, we quickly focused on retired pitcher John Rocker and some of his racist rants. You can see that list in the Cool Links section. Thanks for listening. Talk to you on Friday morning!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Hour 1
Today is picture day at the Free Beer and Hot Wings Show. Our photographer friend is coming in to take new pictures of us for the website. Zane was concerned, however, because he still has a massive tumor on his face. It is even noticeable on the webcam! We had a few Idiot of the Day stories this morning, including a woman who died while visiting the Microbus that the kid from Into the Wild died in. She too died while messing around in the wild.

Hour 2
Zane's daughter Jackie went bonkers yesterday and threw a massive temper tantrum. He tried to punish her by making her write a letter of apology, but was undermined when his wife decided to go girl power and let Jackie off the hook. Candy Beard was in charge of the lists for Paired With an Idiot this morning and once again, he did not disappoint! We talked about a guy who got arrested when he made up a lie at a restaurant to get his meal for free. Based on this, we took calls about your scams to get free stuff.

Hour 3
Dr. Laura is quitting her radio job after her N-word rant last week because she wants her freedom to say the N-word back. Another radio host was fired for wearing a Gators hat to a press conference being held by the Alabama head coach. He seemed super fussy and this whole thing was a little ridiculous. Some idiot woman drove her car off a boat ramp because she got lost. She called her daughter to let her know that the car was filling with water and that she needed to give the insurance company a call. Unfortunately, none of this matters because she died. Talking about this moron got us on the topic of honesty at funerals, and whether anyone has ever "told it like it is" at a funeral. We had the chance to interview a guy that is living his life as a dog and wants to get his name legally changed to "Boomer the Dog". Despite the vicious attack, he was actually a pretty nice guy!

Hour 4
A guy reported his girlfriend missing and there was a massive, state-wide search to find her. She was found at a hotel getting plowed by some other guy. He now has to pay the state back for the funds used to find her since she wasn't really missing. In the FBHW Report this morning, we talked about the verdicts in the Blagojevich case, as well as Brett Favre coming back for another year. Based on the bad radio dream that Free Beer had last night, we took calls from people about their awful job-related dreams. We definitely got a few surprising and funny calls towards the end of this segment!

Hour 5
LeBron James continues to take a dump on the city of Cleveland. While talking about this, Zane proclaimed that LeBron had sex with his own mom and that she was only "four OR six years older than him". NJ Governor Chris Christie has outlawed the use of the word "retarded" in official state documents across the state. We talked about whether or not the use of this word was right or not. What were you voted most likely to do in high school? We took some calls from listeners about this and also made some suggestions for our interns. Be sure to listen tomorrow morning for Dumber Than Zane Trivia, worth $800!

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Hour 1
Today is the tenth anniversary of the day that Free Beer and Hot Wings first talked to Eric Zane. That seemed like a strange anniversary for Free Beer to remember, until he explained that it was also the 10 year anniversary of the Free Beer and Hot Wings Show signing on The Bone in Knoxville. We enjoyed some good discussion about Zane's passive/aggressive radio war approach and how it backfired on him. An English professor in NYC was kicked out of a Starbucks for refusing to say whether she wanted butter or cheese with her bagel. She considered doing so a practice of bad grammar and she would not stand for it.

Hour 2
Producer Joe told us this morning that he ran into the remaining members of the band Sublime this weekend while in New Hampshire with 104.9 The Hawk. He said the encounter was awkward, because all he wanted to ask them was how they continued on even after the only known guy in the band died. Zane almost died on Sunday when he wrecked on his bike. He was riding behind his friend and hit a massive pothole that sent him flying. We then watched the video of a bike messenger hitting an old man while riding the wrong way down a one way street. They had the shortest, most to-the-point argument ever! A billionaire that owns the website Battlecam.com is offering a million dollars to the person that runs in front of President Obama naked with the website name written on them. We talked this morning about the possible ramifications for doing this, as well as making it a Joe stunt.

Hour 3
Check out the Video Reel for the video of the guy we talked about this morning, "Boomer the Dog". He's a grown man that thinks he's a dog. And he sucks. Also in the video reel is an entertaining video of penguins chasing a butterfly. There's a new VIP video posted on the website of Zane riding around town on his scooter. It's getting some great reviews, so be sure to check it out! We had listeners call in and tell their significant others what they were doing wrong in bed. Most preferred to remain anonymous, but we still got some great calls on the topic.

Hour 4
Based on the calls from listeners ratting out their significant others, we also got a bunch of great anonymous emails during the break that we shared as well. In the FBHW Report, we talked about the plane that was struck by lightning and broke into three pieces while landing. Surprisingly, only one person was killed and it was due to a heart attack. Check out the Cool Links section for the news story that we talked about this morning that is basically a real-life Groundhog Day scenario. This woman cannot remember anything after 1994. The story is filled with awful movie and TV references from that year.

Hour 5
Zane informed us this morning that his massive zit is not a zit at all! It is a subaceous cyct. He described for us in great detail the process of milking the poison out of it yesterday. In the Cool Links section, you'll see a link to what appears to be the most unsafe and inconvenient vehicle ever created. It doesn't seem like it'll be a big seller. Based on the call we got yesterday from a woman that was going to visit her fiancé in prison, we took calls from people about why they spent time in jail. Talk to you on Wednesday morning!

Monday, August 16, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Monday, August 16, 2010

Hour 1
Zane was out this morning because he went to see his boy crush Kid Rock last night. Producer Joe sat in his place today. We talked early about Butthead Lautner being hypnotized as well as a school that is so poor, they are making the students bring their own toilet paper to school this year. In the Cool Links section, you'll see an article about the new world's smallest man. He's a creepy little 40 year old man that is just over two and a half feet tall.

Hour 2
Free Beer had a dream over the weekend where he went back to his high school to go to a football game, but he was there with no shirt on. All of the girls that he was in school with (who now all look like their moms) were fawning over his new muscles. Hot Wings tried to justify how he flexes in the mirror by saying that his trainer, the super-hardcore Lance Mohawk, told him to do it because it was good exercise. Producer Joe was in New Hampshire on Thursday and Friday, visiting our affiliate 104.9 The Hawk. He gave us a recap of all of the events he attended, including another awkward interaction that he had with a stripper and a very embarrassing moment on the plane home. We went over a list of the most popular things in America according to Bloomberg, including deodorant, cereal and items purchased at Wal Mart. This led to a very fun discussion.

Hour 3
Dina Lohan, Lindsay's disaster mother, was interviewed by Matt Lauer on the Today Show. Her answers to his questions left few wondering why Lindsay is how she is. You can see the interview in the Cool Links section. We asked the following question this morning: Would you rather give up sex or the internet for one year? We had three guys and three girls on the phone for this segment and you may be surprised by their responses. We played a bunch of audio from Comedy Central's roast of David Hasselhoff. There were some decent insults.

Hour 4
We had a list of the many one liners from the movie The Expendables. Since our interns are such great character actors, we had them read over the list and give us their best rendition of the lines. In the FBHW Report this morning, we talked about Tila Tequila being beaten violently at a concert, as well as the deadly off-road race in California. As a phone topic, we had listeners call in and finish this sentence: "I got married despite ______. We realized that some people have an incredible ability to look past flaws in other people.

Hour 5
In the last hour of the show, we went over a list of the top ten ways that your brain is trying to sabotage you, including growing attached to objects by touching them and the tricks of online shopping. This list also told you how to beat the brain sabotaging. You can see this in the Cool Links section. We closed the show by replaying Producer Joe's stunt from last week when he merged in a drive thru. Talk to you Tuesday morning!

Friday, August 13, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Friday, August 13, 2010

Hour 1
Zane told us this morning that he watched a special about the British military that showed how they would give soldiers chickens, make them raise it for a few weeks, and then break it's neck and pop it's head off. Now THAT is military training at it's finest! We also talked about a variety of topics including a guy who hoards drugs, and a man with a pea plant growing inside of him. London will be hosting the 2012 Olympics, so pamphlets are being distributed to teach the locals how to interact with foreigners. Most of the suggestions seem offensive.

Hour 2
During the CWTTAB segment, we talked about Sarah Palin in general, the jizz towels that hypnotist Rich Guzzi left in studio yesterday and Butthead Lautner's hypnosis. If you haven't seen the videos yet, be sure to watch them on the Videos page. We also played a bunch of the highlights from the hypnosis yesterday.

Hour 3
Producer Joe is out on his World Stunt Tour this morning. He's at our affiliate, 104.9 The Hawk, in New Hampshire. We checked in with him early on the show this morning to hear about his travel problems, as well as the biplane ride he got yesterday from a listener. There will be video in the near future! A bunch of new records have beet set recently that we talked about this morning, including the longest house arrest sentence ever. You won't believe how long this woman is confined to her home for! For Joe's stunt today in NH, he attempted to violate a major social norm by cutting in line in his car at a restaurant drive-thru. The results were pretty surprising.

Hour 4
A couple of idiots jumped on a train in Buffalo without knowing where it was heading. Three hours later, they realized that they were on their way to Cleveland and that the train had no scheduled stops. They had to call 911 in order to get the train to stop. In the FBHW Report this morning, we talked about the Flint serial killer being caught and the comments made about whether or not Obama is the worst president ever. To close out the hour, we talked for a while about the n-word rant that radio host Dr. Laura went on recently and if she should be in trouble for it or not. We also took a bunch of calls from listeners on the subject.

Hour 5
We brought up a bunch of scenarios this morning (like gay marriage and the legalization of marijuana) and discussed what the outcome would be in public opinion polls for these topics. If you haven't seen it yet, we have a webcam in the studio now. This has become a great source of enjoyment for us, because we can now hold up offensive signs and make rude gestures to anybody that may be watching! Just click on the button while the show is on the air and you'll see our ghoulish faces. We played some audio of the most recent fight on Jersey Shore and quickly got on the topic of getting punched by girls. That's the worst. We closed the show with a game of Name That Blank. Have a good weekend. Talk to you Monday morning!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Hour 1
Producer Joe is out of the studio once again today. This time around, his stunt tour is taking him to our affiliate in New Hampshire! There's a new John Belushi biopic coming out soon. This got us on the topic of poorly casted biopics from years past. We went over a list early this morning of the top television earners based on genre.

Hour 2
Steve went to the dentist yesterday and a "foreign object" showed up on the x-ray. You can see a picture of it on the Photos page. We got an email from a listener claiming that we were the reason that he was now divorced. At first we were worried, but after reading the email, it seemed like he was in a much better situation now. A guy spent the last two years hiking the entire length of the Amazon River. Even after accomplishing such a great feat, many people are saying how this trip was completely pointless.

Hour 3
What do you think the most commonly hidden item in the household is? We went over a list this morning that gave some stupid suggestions of this, which made us mock pukey radio shows who talk about this kind of crap. We played some audio this morning of a couple of precocious kids; one that you will love and one that you will most likely hate. You can see these in the Video Reel and the Cool Links section. Butthead Lautner and his dad made his mom cry yesterday, even though they thought they were doing something that she would love. They both found it funny, regardless.

Hour 4
During this entire hour of the show, we had hypnotist and comedian Rich Guzzi in studio. Rich successfully hypnotized intern Butthead Lautner and had him do a variety of ridiculous things in the studio. The video will be posted by tomorrow morning!

Hour 5
We received a new hate email of the day today. Someone REALLY doesn't like Eric Zane! Zane also gave us an update on the massive, subterranean zit that is brewing on his forehead. It's still maturing and he hopes to have it popped soon. We closed the show with a late edition of Dumber Than Zane Trivia, worth $400.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Hour 1
We started the show talking about how awful it is when you wake up in the middle of the night and you're all confused and not sure where you are. Steve is sick and this happened to him last night and Free Beer was woken up by a late phone call from his mother-in-law. We then went over a list of sleep-related myths. Stephen Hawking said recently that we must abandon Earth for space or face extinction. The reasoning he gave for this statement was nothing that everyone didn't know already.

Hour 2
Hot Wings pointed out the massive zit on Zane's forehead this morning. We managed to convince Joe to squeeze it in an attempt to drain the disease out of it. Don't worry, it was all captured on video! Our new webcam is up and running, so hopefully you were one of the lucky ones to be watching during this time! After playing Paired With an Idiot this morning, Free Beer took the opportunity to respond to emails from listeners that were worried about him leaving the show for a play-by-play career. According to him, he's not going anywhere.

Hour 3
Some Iranian band redid Pink Floyd's Another Brick in the Wall, but replaced "Hey teacher" with "Hey Ayatollah". Yeah, perfect fit. A listener wrote in for dating advice or, more specifically, break up advice. He wasn't really interested in continuing the relationship because he loves her but isn't in love with her. We then took some calls from people who have been through the same thing. Check out the Video Reel for the video we played this morning of the woman who really enjoyed her ride on the ride at the amusement park! We talked about the student that drugged and raped his fraternity brother, and also taped it! The victim found the videos on the computer and contacted the cops. Based on this, we talked about bad roommate stories and Producer Joe shared the story of his roommate that was really into Amway and a self help group.

Hour 4
Yesterday was Hot Wings' son Grayson's first birthday. He managed to burn himself on the candle on his birthday cake. We talked about the ad that was approved by the MTA against the mosque at Ground Zero. We also played the song that is against it as well. It was awful. In the FBHW Report, we talked about the Jet Blue flight attendant story a bit more, as well as the woman that quit her job using a dry erase board and camera. We decided to do the phone topic "I'm so lazy that I ________" and got a ton of good calls on the topic!

Hour 5
Some dude on the TV show Intervention, in addition to being addicted to drugs, was also addicted to choking himself. That was one of the strangest addictions that we had ever heard of! To close out the show, we played Interns vs. A-Team with Ocho Blinko, Stephanie and Candy Beard. Talk to you on Thursday!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Hour 1
We started the show with a list internet facts that may be hard to believe. The amount of information out there is pretty impossible to comprehend. A guy built his own sex contraption, but somehow managed to kill himself while using it in a public park. He had rope tied around his wrists and it cut too deep and he bled to death. Nice job. Towards the end of this break, we somehow got on the topic of the M&M Store in NYC, as well as Zane's desire for a Pop Tart Store.

Hour 2
Producer Joe attended his first swim school last night. He showed up a little bit late and had a few other problems throughout the class. The television show Obsessed had a guy on recently that had an irrational fear of Chevy El Caminos. We played the audio of him freaking out when one drove by. He's broken on so many levels. The Teen Choice Awards took place recently and Joe's favorite show, Gossip Girl, picked up a few awards. Justin Bieber and Shaq also had an awkward exchange during the show.

Hour 3
Levi Johnston is planning to run for mayor of Wasilla, AK for a reality TV show that he will be featured on. While on the topic of awful reality shows that no one will watch, we discussed the new reality show about polygamists and their lifestyle. One of our new interns, Butthead Lautner, exposed himself to a seven year old girl at work yesterday. Instead of announcing that he was in the bathroom when she knocked, he just walked out with his pants half down. We got two listeners on the phone today to play the first ever round of Psycho Ex-Girlfriend Poker. We got some great stories!

Hour 4
There are a couple of videos up on the website that show great "rate-out" moments. We talked about one video this morning where a woman was pissed when McDonalds wouldn't give her chicken nuggets at 6am, so she punched the drive thru employee and tried to climb through the window to fight! In the FBHW Report this morning, we played the audio of Mel Gibson's dad saying that the pope is gay, and also watched the video of Justin Bieber getting clocked in the face with a huge water bottle. To close out the hour, we got four women on the phone for another Women's Forum.

Hour 5
A Jet Blue flight attendant went nuts on a plane and quit by swearing at the passengers, drinking a beer and sliding down the emergency chute! Based on this, we took calls from people who left their jobs with a bang. We had another "dog saves a life" story this morning. This time, the dog alerted the neighbors that it's owner had passed out! We closed the show by talking about some of the worst tattoos of all time. Many of them include awful, dated pop culture references. The high bidder of the Freedom Machine has bailed on us. It's up for sale again on eBay. Click the link in the Slideshow to bid, but please be serious if you're going to bid!

Monday, August 09, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Monday, August 9, 2010

Hour 1
Zane had a massive going away BBQ at his house over the weekend for a friend that is moving away. He accidentally fed a woman with gluten allergies ribs coated in gluten sauce. A contestant in the World Sauna Championships has died. Witnesses saw people with burns all over their bodies and blood everywhere. Great "sport". We talked this morning about a seven year old whose lemonade stand was shut down for not having a business license. In doing so, we suggested that she made a sexy commercial to the tune of Led Zeppelin's Lemon Song. Zane then hoped for a giant natural disaster to take care of this stupid.

Hour 2
Today was our first day on the air in Cape Cod, MA on Pixy 103 and we decided to do ice breakers throughout the morning to introduce ourselves to the new audience. Hot Wings was up first. He talked about how yesterday was his son's first birthday/baptism party. We parked, however, on how slow and boring the baby shower was last year. The Teen Choice Awards were taped over the weekend and there was a guest at the event that you would not expect. We talked about who it was, as well as the awfully worded questions that a member of the press asked. Twelve year old Gray Gaulding is apparently the future of NASCAR. Talking about this kid led to us to talking about other kids who excelled at sports at a young age like Tiger Woods. This reminded Zane about the time he hit a golf ball into the thigh of his buddy which caused the kid's mom to not let her son play with Zane anymore. Big surprise.

Hour 3
Emmitt Smith was inducted into the National Football League Hall of Fame over the weekend. We played some of the audio from his emotional speech and suggested he sold his soul to the devil in exchange for his unnatural playing abilities. Free Beer was up next for his ice breaker. We even gave listeners a chance to tell the new audience about the show, but both failed miserably. After days of thinking their baby was dead, a Mexican family heard crying coming out of the casket during the wake and found the kid in there alive! Right at the end of the break, however, we got a more recent update about this story that was a bit of a bummer. Producer Joe competed in his first triathlon over the weekend. Everything went very well, except for a few notable incidents that he detailed this morning. Zane competed in the same triathlon and made a scene because he flipped out on someone who broke triathlon rules. He had to apologize to a group of people because of this.

Hour 4
Producer Joe went next during the ice breaker. He told us that his mom went to Lollapalooza this weekend and while there, thought of a great career opportunity for Joe. The discussion then turned quickly to Joe's mom's appearance, as it usually does. In the FBHW Report, we talked about the serial killer in Flint, how awful Tiger Woods is at golf now, and also the fake Craigslist ad that sent scavengers to a woman's house. An NFL referee has just come clean and admitted that he blew a couple of calls in the Super Bowl a few years ago. He said that he will take it to his grave. Based on this, we asked for calls about the one thing you've done that you will regret for the rest of your life.

Hour 5
Laurence Fishburn's daughter is going to be in a porno. He and his friends are trying to buy all the copies of it before it gets released to keep the world from seeing it. Steve was the next to go for the ice breaker for the new listeners. He told us about the truck fest that he drove all weekend to get to. We closed the show with Zane telling us about the strange, unexpected discovery he made while using his friend's grille at the BBQ this weekend. We'll talk to you on Tuesday morning!

Friday, August 06, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Friday, August 6, 2010

Hour 1
Today we started off the morning making fun of Producer Steve for taking the day off and heading to Pennsylvania for a truck show. We also took the time to give an update to his girlfriend's website, "Cakefarts.com", and point out his weird voicemail. We also talked about going to movies starring people that 5 years ago would automatically make the movie hilarious, but now sort of suck.

Hour 2
We watched the video of the call made by a baseline umpire that may have been a little off. Something was said to Joe's girlfriend that wasn't supposed to be offensive, but in fact turned out to be offensive. Also Joe found out from the same girl how she really feels about him. We finished up the hour with Interns vs. the A-team. Butthead Lautner and Ocho-blinko team up against the A-team.

Hour 3
We listened to a Basil Marceaux autotune song. A gay guy on the show the real world took another gay guys toothbrush and rubbed it up against a part of his body that you wouldn't normally rub a toothbrush. A cop was fired for letting a woman that he pulled over for drunk driving go, because she showed him her boobs. From this we took calls from cops that either agreed or disagreed that this happens. A man was caught cheating, because his wife checked facebook and saw messages and other stuff exchanged with the woman her husband was having an affair with.

Hour 4
We took calls from people that were cheating or stealing, or basically doing something that they know they should defiantly not be doing, and their world is about to come crashing down. In the FBHW Report, did Whoopi Goldberg assault somebody on the set of the View? Also we listened to a very haunting 911 call. Also Zane is pursuing owning a gun even more. We got a list from Match.com with the 5 things that men say, and how they are interpreted by women.

Hour 5
We got another list from Cracked.com on why certain genres of movies look the same. A Muslim mosque has been approved to be built at the site of the World Trade Center Towers, and as you can imagine, many people do not agree with this at all. We finished the day with Name That Blank. Steve will be back in Monday. Have a great weekend!

Thursday, August 05, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Hour 1
We talked about how Zane made his neighbor Kendall come over to remove 14,000 pounds of concrete from the base of his basketball net. He has a redneck house. Also a guy made up a story to make his wife let him keep a puppy. Unfortunately she didn't believe him, nor did the police.

Hour 2
We gave Joe some tips on what to do this Saturday for his triathlon, and what to expect from other competitors. This only worsened his nervousness for the race. A-rod hit his 600th home run. Everyone still hates him though, because he did steroids. A woman was tied to her bed while some guys ransacked her house and then left her there. You won't believe how she was able to get message to her husband. This awesome story no doubt turned into us assuming that she was great at a certain sexual favor. Also we had the list of the top ten people in sports world who make ridiculous amounts of money for doing very little work.

Hour 3
We played the 911 call of a woman who asked the operator a question you wouldn't normally ask a 911 operator. We had two "don't you know who I am" scenarios; one from one of the interns, and another from one of the producers. We listened to one of Free Beer's old sports broadcast tapes while talking about his big play-by-play gig next month.

Hour 4
We discussed the top ten things that you should never say to your significant other. Zane revealed to us that he actually said one of these to his wife, and shockingly it didn't go over poorly with his wife. We closed the hour with Dumber than Zane Trivia worth $1,200.

Hour 5
In the FBHW Report we talked about how billionaires are making pledges to give away half of their money to charities after they die, and we also listened to the Katie Couric tapes that revealed her true feelings for Sarah Palin. We talked about list which had things that you shouldn't do or own when you are over the age of 30. To close out the show, we replayed one of the best Joe stunts of all time, the uncomfortable massage challenge. Have a good one. Talk to you Friday!

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Hour 1
A few weeks ago, Free Beer's wife scraped the garage while pulling her car in. At the time, he looked at it and thought it wasn't a big deal and that it would "buff out". He revealed to us this morning just how much it's going to cost to get repaired. We went over a list this morning of grooming habits that could potentially kill you. Zit popping, nose hair trimming and ear picking topped the list.

Hour 2
We saw the ridiculous picture this morning of a monkey carrying a puppy to safety after an explosion and had a great deal of fun talking about it. You can see that in Cool Links. Intern Candy Beard was responsible for the Paired With an Idiot lists this morning. Also in the Cool Links section is a list of ten party songs that we never want to hear again. We played them this morning and discussed how much they all suck.

Hour 3
A guy that was dancing in the middle of the street got creamed by ice cream truck driving by. It's a hilarious video and you can see it in the Video Reel. We talked about the punishment that the North Korean soccer team got after not winning the world cup, as well as some general talk about the craziness that is North Korea. After our conversation about "googly eyes" from last week, a googly-eyed listener wrote in to explain the issue as well as answer some of our questions. Producer Joe's dad told his mom about the discussion from the other day on the air about her "pouty boobs". This got us into the weirdness that is Joe's non-traditional broken family. This somehow led to a description and barrage of insults about Candy Beard.

Hour 4
We got a bunch of listeners on the phone this morning to try to explain the movie Inception in ten seconds or less. Most failed, but it's understandable since the plot to the movie is pretty crazy. We had much more success with simpler movies. While talking about Free Beer doing his big college football broadcast, we wondered what would happen if he accidentally said the phone number when doing play-by-play. This led to a bunch of funny "what if" scenarios. Is Brett Favre retiring or not? ESPN had wall-to-wall coverage about it yesterday, but no one seems to know for sure.

Hour 5
We saw the preview for the new show "Scrappers" this morning. This show follows a bunch of idiots around Brooklyn who just collect scrap metal and sell it. This led to a bunch of talk about other stupid shows that portray people with boring jobs. A guy passed out drunk and his dog ate his toe because it was all gross and infected. It turned out that the guy was diabetic, and he is now saying that the dog saved his life. It seems as though the dog just alerted him to a malady that he had been ignoring for too long. To close out the show, we asked women what job they have that turn men on based on the story about a female hairdresser giving men boners. Talk to you on Thursday morning!

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Hour 1
We discussed how wrestling is for children and slow people. Zane reminisced about the time he was at the wrestling event and pissed off the people around him. Zane has another reason not to trust his kid. He lied about something that was broken at the house, but Zane hasn't proven it just yet.

Hour 2
Joe is doing his first triathlon this weekend and Zane brought his wetsuit in. We made Joe put it on, and talked about him going to stores and purchasing things while wearing it. We also listened to an interview that Mike Tyson did with another radio show. He was extremely open about his weight problems and drug addiction.

Hour 3
We talked about Basil Marceaux as he made an appearance on the Kimmel show. He still seems broken. Free Beer has got a new job...well, kinda. We still think he's going to leave the show for this dream gig. We had a car quiz on things that can help improve your fuel economy, for the one and only Hot Wings also known as Car King.

Hour 4
We took calls from oil change places talking about how everybody is creepy and a sexual deviant. Ladies, you will think twice about getting your oil changed after hearing this. In the FBHW Report, we talked about Obama's statement about pulling all troops out of Iraq. Also, is Steven Tyler going to be the next American Idol judge? Free Beer has a friend that heard something from his six year-old son that you will never want to hear from your child's mouth.

Hour 5
We got a chance to talk to Basil Marceaux who is running for Governor in Tennessee. This is by far the most uncomfortable interview we have ever done. Your butt cheeks are guaranteed to clench at least four times during the interview. Albert Haynesworth had to do an NFL conditioning test that he was not exactly in shape for. We finished up the show with Intern's vs. the A-team. This batch of interns is currently 2-0 right now. Let's see if Butthead Lautner and Rapestash can keep the streak going.

Monday, August 02, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Monday, August 2, 2010

Hour 1
Would you rather lick your cell phone or a public toilet handle? We talked about this early on the show today and apparently it's way more disgusting to lick your cell phone! A guy was caught getting married to another woman when his wife saw his wedding photos on his Facebook. How does something like that happen?

Hour 2
We've added a new signal in Traverse City. We're now heard on both 95.5 and 105.1. Talking about this made us think of Del, the guy who runs the station in Traverse City, and how he always carries his trusty tape measure. There were a bunch of shark sightings on the east coast over the weekend. The sharks are estimated to be at least 15 feet long. If you've ever wondered if you are in danger of spontaneous combustion, check out the link in the Cool Links section that we talked about this morning. Some people are stupid enough to believe that they are in danger of this. Courts in California have ruled that a homeless man is responsible for paying child support to a child that is not his, and has been proven so with DNA evidence.

Hour 3
Based on the story about the guy having to pay child support, we took calls from listeners who were getting screwed in some way with child support payments that they should not have been responsible for. A news reporter was egged by a teenager and verbally assaulted by his mother when he went to their house to question them about the vandalism that they were being accused of. You can see that story in the Cool Links section. Based on this, we constructed a "white trash checklist" to truly define the term.

Hour 4
We played a news story about a guy that broke in to a house in the projects and tried to rape a woman. What made this story funny were the comments from the brother of the victim, Antoine Dodson. His comments have already been auto-tuned. You can see both the news story and the auto-tuned version in the Video Reel. In the FBHW Report, we talked about Ozzie Guillen's comments about Latino players vs. Asian players, as well as Anthony Weiner going nuts in Congress. What stupid thing did you do while angry? We took calls from people on this subject and were disappointed with the responses.

Hour 5
Basil Marceaux, the premier candidate for Governor of Tennessee, has a new video message for the people about gun control. You can see that in the Video Reel. Free Beer watched a movie called Lucky this weekend. It documented past lottery winners, including one woman who spent an incomprehensible amount of money each day on lottery tickets. Talk to you Tuesday morning!

Friday, July 30, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Friday, July 30, 2010

The show is off today and will be back live on Monday. Today's best-of show included the following segments: Who's been beaten up by a chick, Would you do BLANK for your wife or girlfriend, The slave contract and weird fetish calls, Dee Snyder interview, Rocky Lockridge crying on Intervention, Producer Joe's I'm Your New Manager Challenge, The God Squad power team, Super Bowl Egg Predictions with Wiener 2 and Andy 2 Times, Lurch's Internview with Ken Jeong, Can you give yourself OCD?, Producer Joe's Baby Talk Challenge, Death by sea plane and Chris Hansen interview and some classic clips from TCAP. We'll be back live Monday morning. Have a good weekend!

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Hour 1
Free Beer let us know last night that he was going to be coming in a little late this morning. Because of this, everything that could go wrong did. The computers didn't play the right things at the right times and the beginning of the show was nice and awkward. Since he wasn't here, we quickly got on the topic of his temper tantrum yesterday, as well as the possibility of him leaving the show to start a football play-by-play career. Hot Wings had a couple of stories about mother of the year candidates this morning. One tried to sell her kid and the other was driving drunk with her kid in the back seat.

Hour 2
It still seems a bit to early to start giving the interns rankings. None of them have really done anything that stupid yet. Our Engineer Sean has lost nearly 100 pounds, yet he still manages to be the focus of Zane's attacks and rage. Free Beer will possibly be doing some play-by-play this September. We talked about how we all think he's going to get a big fancy play-by-play job and leave the show to live out his dream. While in the Emergency Room last night, Free Beer was sitting around waiting to talk to a doctor and noticed after about an hour that he had been leaning up against a wall with blood spray all over it. This nearly made him puke.

Hour 3
Just one hour after we talked about how none of the interns had screwed up yet, one of them screwed up. Butthead Lautner had quite the time trying to get Zane a cup of coffee, so we brought him in the studio for a post mortem. While we were at it, we took the opportunity to beat him up for his gay voice. Bear, the double rainbow guy, has a blog. We pulled it up and realized that he mentioned the show in one of his recent posts as well as the trip to LA in the Freedom Machine. After getting advice from his caddie on which club to use on a hole, a golfer shot a hole in one. The prize for a hole in one on that whole was a brand new Jeep! He gave the Jeep to his caddie because he told him which club to use! We went over a list of 15 ways to ensure that you live forever. You can see this in the Cool Links section.

Hour 4
The TV show Jersey Shore returns tonight. The Governor of NJ said on the Today Show yesterday that he'd like to give the cast back to NY, since that's where they're all from anyway. Also in the FBHW Report, we talked about a pole dancing school that is taking some heat for offering lessons to kids. We closed the hour with a round of Dumber Than Zane Trivia, worth $800.

Hour 5
We came across audio of a DJ in New Jersey and a big mistake he made on the air. We had a ton of fun talking about this and you can listen to the clip on the Show Clips page. In the Video Reel, you'll see the video we talked about this morning of the cruelest prank ever played. It's pretty awful. We ended the show with another round of Interns vs. A-Team, this time pairing Butthead Lautner with Rape Stache.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Hour 1
Zane's son Jim wanted to trade his iPod touch for a system out of his friend's car. Zane was not happy about the conversation they had about this for a number of reasons, namely, his son not having a car. He has also realized recently that Jim is a chip off the old block with some of his decision making. A nurse was being held captive by two burglars, yet she managed to outsmart them big time. She told them that she had more cash in her purse, but busted out a Smith and Wesson instead!

Hour 2
Producer Joe was back in studio for the first time since the Lohan Freedom Trip ended. It had been nearly two weeks! Free Beer may do some play-by-play for a college football game in September. Because of this, he had to go through some old tapes to send off as an audition of sorts. His wife flat out told him that he sounded horrible. This made Zane bring up a video that we just made that featured Free Beer's super announcer voice in it. This did not make Free Beer very happy. Intern Ocho Blinko made the lists for Paired With an Idiot today. While talking to him, Zane realized that his eyebrows were shaped like the Minnesota Vikings logo. Upon further inspection, we found this to be true. Free Beer saw the most unsafe biker yesterday. The guy was wearing flip flops, no helmet and no shirt.

Hour 3
Ian Bernardo is suing American Idol for $300M, claiming sexual discrimination. Everyone hates this douche. We talked about an article that said that some sit-down restaurants are going to start adding automatic 15% tips to the bills. We had a bunch of waiters and waitresses call in and comment on whether this was the right thing to do or not. AskMen.com had a list of man questions that was supposed to determine how normal you were (i.e. What percentage of men would change their crank size). We discussed this at great length this morning and had a blast with it!

Hour 4
In the FBHW Report this morning, we talked about Bob Barker's recent comments on Drew Carey's hosting of "The Price is Right", as well as TO signing with the Bengals. Interns Ocho Blinko and Candy Beard teamed up today for a round of Interns vs. A-Team. We took this as an opportunity to address Candy Beard's squeaks, chirps and wet hands.

Hour 5
A guy in California bought a bunch of photo negatives at a garage sale for $45. They turned out to be a bunch of Ansel Adams originals that were believed to have been burned in a fire. The actual value of these photos was absolutely incredible. Based on this, we took calls from people who have had crazy garage sale finds. We closed the show by going over a list of the worst jobs in America and getting listener feedback on the topic. You can see the list in the Cool Links section of the website. We'll play Dumber Than Zane Trivia tomorrow, worth $800. Talk to you in the morning!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Hour 1
While Zane was out buying bike supplies yesterday, he noticed that his credit card was missing from his wallet. After talking to his wife, he found out that she had taken it from his wallet and insisted that she told him. This led to some conversation about how much it sucks when you forget any of the big three items: phone, keys or wallet. An enormous woman in the UK was forced in to a hospital by her family. That same family was then sneaking her full buckets of chicken while in the hospital.

Hour 2
We talked a bit about the great video that Bishop put together for Joe's Lindsay Lohan stunt that is now posted on the Videos page. A 10 year old boy survived a 16 story fall off the roof of a building. A metal parking garage roof broke his fall. Just days after the fall, he is up and walking around with only some broken bones. We played the audio of the Cowboys' Dez Bryant this morning saying that he will not carry the pads of veteran players. Most people agreed that he should just suck it up and carry the pads like every other rookie has done for years.

Hour 3
Based on the Dez Bryant audio and responses, we took calls from people about the hazing that happens at their job, including one bizarre call from a guy that works at the power company. Their hazing ritual seemed absolutely ridiculous. We went over a list of things that everyone is supposed to do while they're still single. Apparently, doing these stupid things will better prepare you for a relationship and marriage.

Hour 4
The first recipient of a full-face transplant finally revealed himself on TV. Judging by the picture, they still have quite a bit of work to do before they perfect the procedure. A 10 year old kid in Arizona has taken up the task of sending thank you cards to the troops overseas...all 180,000 of them. In the story, they described it as a summer project. Simple math revealed that this would take much longer than that, even at the pace of 500 per day. In the FBHW Report, we talked about how the Tennessee Titans are suing Lane Kiffin, and also Les Miles' response to a question about the effects of the oil spill.

Hour 5
Check the Cool Links section for the list of the most annoying workplace habits that we talked about this morning. How many are you guilty of? A girl decided a few years back to base her life off of one of the characters from Sex and the City by setting a goal to sleep with 1,000 men. This just seemed like a bad plan. To close out the show, we talked about the 12 year old kid that climbed the highest point in all 50 states in record time.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Monday, July 26, 2010

Hour 1
As we talked about on Friday's show, Producer Joe is now home from the Lindsay Lohan Double Rainbow Freedom Trip. He's still recovering, though, and wont' be back in studio until Wednesday or so. All of the videos from the ridiculous trip are now posted on the website! ESPN did a piece about the safety of food in professional arenas. With all of the violations they found, it's a wonder that we are all still alive.

Hour 2
We talked about a story that is making lots of headlines about a couple of midget wrestlers who were killed by fake prostitutes. Free Beer suggested an odd way that they may have been killed that made all of us wonder why he would even bring such a thing up. In the Cool Links section, check out the article we discussed that listed the things that men should no longer do after the age of 30. Do you still do any of these?

Hour 3
A guy in a Darth Vader costume successfully robbed a bank. While talking about this, we discussed what we would do if we were a witness to such a crime. Floyd Landis is back in the news with more comments about doping and steroid use. We talked this morning about a story of neighbor feuding in which the judge in the case gave a great old-school punishment to the parties involved. In Albany, NY, a bunch of kids were playing ring-and-run and one of the kids was caught by the homeowner. He was injured pretty badly and the homeowner is now being sued for hurting the kid because he's only 14.

Hour 4
Do you have a strange smell that you enjoy? We asked this question this morning based on the story of a woman who would leave open gas cans around her house because she liked the smell of gasoline. We played the latest fan-on-the-field video, this time from Baltimore. The security just kind of stood buy until the kid stopped running, and then arrested him. In the FBHW Report, we talked about the strange reason that Kings of Leon left the stage during a recent show, and also about the German music festival where 19 people were trampled to death. Zane was away for the weekend and had many animal-related encounters and told us about them this morning.

Hour 5
Linda Hogan, Hulk's ex-wife, is getting remarried. Normally, this wouldn't be news-worthy but it is in this case because of who she is marrying. Check out the Video Reel for the video of the parasailing donkey that we talked about this morning! It looks like he's having a great time! Zane and Steve both had awkward encounters with people this weekend that inspired the segment "It's not fair, but _____ about you makes me uncomfortable". Based on Steve's interaction in particular, a google-eye conversation started. Talk to you on Tuesday morning!

Friday, July 23, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Friday, July 23, 2010

Hour 1
We learned this morning about the "Candwich", which is a sandwich in a can. Wait, no. It's actually only the ingredients for a sandwich all stuffed in to a can. Sounds great. We somehow got another CakeFarts.com update this morning while talking about something completely unrelated.

Hour 2
We talked for a while about the Tour de France this morning and about how cyclists get in fights when they pass each other. This transitioned into talking about whether or not there are still people that score and keep stats at baseball games. No one under the age of 75 still does this. A guy is in the news for being able to successfully trade a cell phone for a Porsche through a series of trades. You can see that story in the Cool Links section. While talking about this, we started to think about what we could trade Joe's beloved Freedom Machine for. Probably not too much. In the Video Reel, you'll see the video of a guy that is obsessed with Meg Ryan after his oral surgery. He seems pretty annoying and we wondered if the video is legit or not.

Hour 3
We also played the video of a dog that supposedly says "Batman" when it barks. To us, it seemed more like he was saying "Martin", so we mixed it with the theme song to Martin Lawrence's old TV show "Martin". It fit perfectly! Free Beer told us that he has had strange urges to shoplift recently. Zane diagnosed him as just being weird and going through some kind of change-of-life period. In the Video Reel, you need to check out the video of how not to haul a car. It's a pretty epic fail. Based on that video, we took calls from people telling us the one thing that they tried that they will never try again.

Hour 4
The two call-in segments about what you will never try again confirmed to us that 99% of the bad calls that come in to the radio show come from Maine. Sorry Mainers, but it's time to step it up! In today's FBHW Report, we talked about the special treatment that Lindsay Lohan is getting in jail and the ethics violation accusations against Charlie Rangal. We talked about a guy that makes an extra $600-$800 on the side by finding things for free on Craigslist and reselling them at yard sales every weekend. Based on this, we took calls about the ways that you make extra money on the side.

Hour 5
Simon Cowell is being sued for about $4M by a woman that was "humiliated" on Britain's Got Talent. She refused to believe that she was the god-awful singer that she really was and now is trying to cash in. Towards the end of the show, we were treated to a very special in-studio guest. Based on the events of the past week, it shouldn't be hard to figure out who that guest was. We ended the show with a game of Name That Blank. Be sure to get caught up this weekend on all of the videos from Producer Joe's Lindsay Lohan Double Rainbow Freedom Trip. Just click the link in the slideshow to watch them all! Talk to you on Monday!

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Hour 1
Producer Joe and Bishop are finally headed home, exactly one week after beginning the Lindsay Lohan Double Rainbow Freedom Trip. As we started the show, they were driving through Colorado. We joked about sending them back, because Lindsay Lohan will only be in jail for about nine days according to a recent report. Free Beer has now gotten his wife sick and caused her to cancel a trip with her mother. This made her cry. We talked about the list of possibilities for Simon's replacement on American Idol. Some of the people on the list were a good fit, but some were just plain awful.

Hour 2
Check out the Video Reel for the video we talked about this morning of a reporter absolutely crushing a skater while on a half pipe. It's a wonder the kid is alive. We played the audio from a guy in Tennessee who is running for governor that seems a bit...off. You can also see that in the Video Reel. We went over a list this morning of the top 50 earning American athletes. The list combined their salaries/winnings with their endorsement deals. Some of the numbers were impossible to wrap our heads around.

Hour 3
We had listeners call in and debate this morning whether or not cheerleading was a real sport or not. Even though we agreed with some, they were unable to make valid points for their arguments. In the Cool Links section, you'll see the article about a 40 ton whale that jumped out of the water and landed on a boat. Somehow, the boat did not sink. Since our Women's Forums are always so popular, we decided to do a rare Men's Forum where women called and emailed in their questions for us.

Hour 4
In the FBHW Report this morning, we talked about the now-postponed Palin/Johnston wedding, as well as Lindsay Lohan's first day in jail. Jason in Michigan was the contestant on Dumber Than Zane Trivia this morning, worth $400.

Hour 5
Zane talked this morning about the triathlon that he will be competing in next weekend. If you are interested in donating to the cause, an organization called Hospice At Home, please click the banner in the slideshow and help out! Be sure to check out the video of the dog and the deer who are best friends. It's in the Video Reel. We closed out the show by talking about Colt McCoy's milfy wife, and about the media coverage that Producer Joe has gotten on the Double Rainbow Freedom Trip. Talk to you on Friday!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Hour 1
Zane started off the show by talking about his problem that he had in his kitchen this morning. Apparently, he has a 1 million watt light bulb in his refrigerator because his fridge was left slightly opened and everything was thawed and dried out. This led to talk about his insanely high electric bills. We went over a list of reasons that alcohol can make you healthier, according to some experts. We thought they were stupid.

Hour 2
We discussed the rednecky-ness of our intern Stephanie this morning, noting how excited she was about an upcoming monster truck show that she is going to. According to an article we talked about this morning, one in five men feel frightened when they are in the car with a women driver. We had a bunch of people on the phone talking about their women driver nightmare stories.

Hour 3
We spent nearly an entire hour recapping the events from yesterday. Producer Joe managed to get his face and ridiculous pink shirt on to nearly every news station in America while at the Lindsay Lohan booking in Los Angeles. We played back a ton of the audio, as well as a bunch of audio from some of the videos on the internet that are going viral. We also checked in with Joe to find out how the rest of his day went yesterday, now that he is an internet phenomenon.

Hour 4
We went over a list that we found on the internet that listed things that you don't really need to buy for your kids, even though everyone told you that you would need them. At that point in the show, we switched over to Best-of because we filled in for the Dan Patrick Show again. We started off by playing Ari Zane Sex Agent.

Hour 5
The Final hour of Best-of included Producer Joe's Are These Your Panties Challenge, Will drinking water the day after you drink wine get you re-drunk and Zane's wife buys him clothes for the family photo.

Dan Patrick Show Hour 1
We started the Dan Patrick Show by throwing out our Lindsay Lohan-related poll question and listing what we were looking forward to later in the show. We also talked about why we aren't fantasy football fans or players. Too many people that play "fantasy" think that everyone else cares about who is on their team and what their stats are. No one cares, nerd! We then talked to SI.com Senior Writer Don Banks about the looming NFL training camps. During the break, we heard that Jimmy Johnson was going to be on the next season of Survivor. That seemed pretty crazy, yet it was accurate! After recent comments, it appears as though Brett Favre's agent is also tired of his constant flip-flopping about retirement. Just decide already!

Dan Patrick Show Hour 2
We played some audio from the Edwards/Keselowski crash. Both appear to be claiming innocence and are blaming the crash on each other. Darren Sharper from the New Orleans Saints joined us and talked about the Saints' impending title defense, and what the championship meant to the city of New Orleans. We then talked to SI.com college football guru Andy Staples about a variety of topics regarding the upcoming season. We played the audio of Colt McCoy's former teammates singing at his wedding and the great Tim Tebow reference during the song. Zane proclaimed once again his hatred for Colt McCoy, but once again, could not give a concrete reason why.

Dan Patrick Show Hour 3
In the final hour, we discussed Lou Piniella's retirement and celebrated it by playing a great Lou Piniella-themed Cubs song. It was pretty great. Pat Haden, the USC athletics director charged with restoring the tarnished image of the Trojans, joined the show to talk about the controversy surrounding the program. We were also joined by FOX NFL Insider Jay Glazer to promote the new season of Pros vs. Joes on Spike. Since Producer Joe was still in LA, he swung by the Fox Sports studios and gave the whole audience a quick rundown of the events of the past week. Talk to you on Thursday!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Hour 1
Donald Trump is pissed at Rachel Uchitel because she is going to be on Celebrity Rehab, even though he wanted her to be on Celebrity Apprentice. We then discussed how the cast of Celebrity Rehab is just a bunch of comedians that no one cares about and listed our least favorites. We went over a list of baby names that are rising in popularity for the year 2010. Some people really give their kids a-holish names that will get them beaten up later in life. Nice job!

Hour 2
Producer Joe sent us a photo of Bear the Double Rainbow Guy. He's an absolute disaster. You can see the picture on the Photos page of the website. The entire show is back today, yet still not 100%. Hot Wings and Free Beer are both still feeling a bit sick. In the Cool Links section, check out the story of the girl whose fat percentage was too high, so her school sent her home with a letter saying she failed because she was too fat. We took some calls from people so they could give us their best or worst summer jobs ever.

Hour 3
Joe sent us some audio that he recorded yesterday while in Yosemite and on the way to LA with Bear. It confirmed our suspicions that Bear is a little strange. We also played some crazy audio of a guy that was speaking on tongues about gay marriage. We then took calls from people about whether speaking in tongues is legit or just a bunch of BS. Free Beer witnessed a grandmother scaring the crap out of her kid in the pharmacy yesterday. She picked up a raccoon puppet and was using it to talk to the kid, and the kid freaked out!

Hour 4
We had planned to check in with Producer Joe early on the show today, but after numerous attempts at calling him, we figured he was still asleep since it was only 5AM west coast time. In the FBHW Report, we played the audio of Whoopi all drugged up on The View yesterday, and also gave an update on South Carolina's Alvin Greene. He seemed just as stupid as ever!

Hour 5
Dwyane Wade made an awful comparison between basketball and 9/11 recently. It turned out that this wasn't the first time someone has done this because we went over a big list of other idiots making similar comparisons. In the last break of the show, we were finally able to get Producer Joe on the phone to give us an update on what has happened since we talked to him last. Find out how this crazy, week-long stunt will culminate on Wednesday morning!

Monday, July 19, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Monday, July 19, 2010

Hour 1
We started off the show this morning referring to it as Free Beer and Hot Wings Lite. Hot Wings is out because he is violently sick, and Producer Joe is still on the Freedom Journey. The latest LeBron James backlash is coming from former NBA stars. They're all saying that they would have never jumped ship to play on the same team as each other. Zane had some family members over at his house this weekend and was "tell it like it is" guy. He called out someone for interrupting conversations and also mocked how his brother ate and played music.

Hour 2
Free Beer told us this morning that he may need to leave early, or at least have to drop out of the conversation at some point during the show so he could hit up the bathroom. He wasn't feeling so well today. Zane's wife threw him a surprise party on Friday night that we were all at. Hot Wings and Mrs. Hot Wings were both pretty drunk. There was a karaoke machine, which was referred to this morning as "dollar store karaoke", because it had all sorts of technical issues. Needless to say, we still all had a blast! We talked about a couple of awful inventions this morning that dealt with baby care. You can see both of them linked in the Cool Links section.

Hour 3
While Joe is out on his Freedom Trip adventure, Bishop is riding along and documenting the entire thing and producing daily movie blogs. We pulled some of the highlights from days 2 and 3 of the journey and played it back this morning. Free Beer talked this morning about a conversation he overheard about a guy who could not poop in his own house. He had to leave the house to do so. We took calls from people and asked them to describe their strange bathroom habits.

Hour 4
We checked in with Producer Joe this morning on the show, at 5AM west coast time. Surprisingly, Joe picked up the phone and told us about the latest happenings from the Freedom Trip over the weekend. In the FBHW Report, we talked about Lindsay Lohan checking into rehab , as well as an awful story about a donkey being attacked with acid. Check out the Cool Links section for the list of the seven items that immediately tell people you're a douche.

Hour 5
Intern Candy Beard's voice was mocked at length this morning. Zane also noted that every single interaction with him is awkward and uncomfortable. We played the audio from the viral video of the 11 year old girl crying about being teased on the internet. Her dad screaming made all of us laugh. Check out that story in the Cool Links section. We closed the show by checking in one more time with Producer Joe so we could get one more update about Bear's whereabouts.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Friday, July 16, 2010

Hour 1
While pulling into the garage last night, Free Beer's wife clipped the side of the car on the edge of the garage door and caused a bit of damage. She was extremely upset, but it ended up not being that big of a deal at all. Zane's wife appears to have just learned about the internet, because she tends to believe every single spam email that she receives. She also joins every single Facebook group she is invited to.

Hour 2
Zane has thought about it for a few days and has finally come up with a nickname for Intern Mike. He will now be referred to as either Ocho Blinko (because of his "hard-blinking") or Brick (because Zane says he has the personality of a brick). Steve told us the horribly offensive thing that his girlfriend said about one of the new interns. A mailman is being credited with saving three lives. To us, two of them appear legitimate. The third seemed to be a bit of a stretch. We talked about a list of home remedies from around the world and whether or not they worked. You can see that in the Cool Links section.

Hour 3
A guy paid his bail with counterfeit $20 bills and managed to get away with it. The only reason he was caught was because he came back the next day to try and get money back because he claimed he overpaid. We played a bunch of quotes from Levi Johnston about Sarah Palin this morning that will definitely make things awkward for them at family functions. Levi and Bristol Palin are now engaged. We then took calls from people whose in-laws hate them just as much.

Hour 4
We checked in with a very sleepy Producer Joe this morning. He and Bishop made it to Omaha last night, but not without incident. You can see the video recap of Day 1 on the Videos page. In the FBHW Report, we talked about Meredith Vieira's awkward guest intro, BP's oil spill progress and more Mel Gibson audio. Free Beer found out something about a relative while on Facebook yesterday, so we had people call in and tell us what they have found out about someone they know from the internet. Some of the calls were pretty surprising!

Hour 5
Check out the Cool Links section for the story and video about the new zero-tolerance policy for beer snakes. What are beer snakes, you may ask? Click the link and find out! We fired up an old debate today about whether or not NASCAR drivers are real athletes or not. We took a bunch of calls on this and as usual, the audience was pretty split. We closed out the show with a game of Name That Blank. Keep checking the website all weekend for updates on Producer Joe's trip across the U.S. We'll talk to you Monday morning!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Hour 1
We kicked off the show by talking about the hobo that was sleeping directly in front of the doors to the radio station. We thought that this was kind of ironic, especially after realizing that the Flashback was Producer Joe's Hobo Posse! Zane gave us an update on the Doobie Brothers this morning. They appear to have just given up all hope at finding a job and Zane has had enough. He no longer wants to support them.

Hour 2
During the CWTTAB segment, we talked about the photo of John Daly with other past members of the British Open that you can see in the Slideshow. The jacket is so gaudy and ridiculous that you absolutely have to see it. We also discussed the supposed McDonalds dine-in tax. A lawsuit alleges that a young teen faced offers of sex and drugs from Southwest Airlines seatmate. Southwest is now being sued by the family. In the Cool Links section, you'll see the list we talked about this morning of the top 10 fashion mistakes by men, according to women.

Hour 3
While talking to Bear the Double Rainbow Guy last week, he said that he lets people couch surf at his house. Based on this, we tried to get people on the phone that have couch surfed before. We played some audio from the ESPY's this morning, including Tracy Morgan's Invictus audion tape, and Steve Carrel and Paul Rudd's LeBron James mocking. We once again talked to Bear the Double Rainbow Guy and tossed out the idea of Joe staying at his house, and then the two of them making the trip to LA. You may be surprised by bear's response!

Hour 4
We checked in for the first time with Producer Joe to see how the Freedom Trip was going midway through the show today. In the FBHW Report, we talked about Lindsay Lohan's new attorney, as well as even more Mel Gibson audio. Bill in Albany was today's contestant on Dumber Than Zane Trivia, with a pot of $2,000!

Hour 5
Zane has been watching a documentary on HBO called Gas Land which he insisted that everyone had to watch. It focuses on the lives of people who own property on land over natural gas reserves. We went over a list of five tips to make your wife or girlfriend think you care about them. To us, it seemed like if you needed this list, you should probably reconsider your poor relationship choices. We closed the show by once again checking in with Producer Joe on his way to LA and he filled us in on some of the amenities that the Freedom Machine was lacking. Click on the first slide in the Slideshow for all of the information about Joe's trip!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Hour 1
Producer Joe is just hours away from the departure for his Double Rainbow Freedom Journey to be Lindsay Lohan's number one fan! Keep checking back all day for photo updates on the Freedom Machine van. A sex-ed teacher in England is in the news because it was found out that he was doing porn on the side. It's not the porn that was bothering school officials, though. They just did not like that he was not wearing a condom in the porno! A guy opened fire on two guys that were stealing his truck and one was struck in the head. The guy that was defending his property was arrested for attempted murder and people are pissed!

Hour 2
Free Beer told us this morning that his mother-in-law called him yesterday for more details on Joe and Bishop's stay at her house tomorrow. Apparently, she was only half paying attention when the idea was brought up and now she's really nervous about the whole situation. Check out the Cool Links section for the list of the top 5 most hated TV commercial characters that we talked about this morning.

Hour 3
We had more interns start today so we were already trying to come up with nicknames for them. A listener pointed out yesterday that Intern Chompers looks like Butthead from Beavis and Butthead and Taylor Lautner from Twilight. Chompers will now be known as Butthead Lautner. Joe and Steve dropped off the van yesterday for its custom paintjob. You can see some pictures of it on the Photos page. Based on the story of a flight that had to turn around because of rotting meat and maggots in the overhead bin, we took calls from people who had to stop and turn around mid-trip for various reasons.

Hour 4
During the FBHW Report, we aired the latest Mel Gibson audio and talked about how Bristol Palin is getting back together with Levi Johnston. While watching a Funny or Die video with Jewel, another woman in the video makes an extremely offensive comment to her. Based on that, we took calls from listeners telling us what the meanest thing is that someone has said to their face.

Hour 5
We introduced two of our new interns today, Candy Beard and Mike, who is yet to have a nickname assigned. You can see the pictures of the new cast on the Photos page. Producer Joe is a bit nervous about his big trip to LA and is convinced he's going to break down in the middle of the desert, so some safety plans were discussed this morning. Even though Mel Gibson is going through all this crap right now, we're still convinced that he will find love again at some point in his life. Based on this scenario, we took calls from people explaining to us what they were able to overlook for love. Talk to you on Thursday morning when Joe will be on the road to LA!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Hour 1
Free Beer told us this morning that he was caught watching a True Blood sex scene by the neighbor and her son. They came to the door to invite the Free Beer's to the neighborhood block party and the raunchy vampire sex was playing in the background. Talking about this then led to talk about watching scrambled porn in the 80's and giant VCR's. Ah, the good old days! The city of Warren, MI will now be charging psychics a future reading fee for licenses. This will supposedly thin out the herd of bad "bad psychics".

Hour 2
Wiener 1's phone number was given out on the intern podcast last week. Needless to say, he was pissed. Wiener 2 called in to defend the decision to do this. We decided that the fault should be placed on all parties involved. Check out the new hate email that we posted this morning. It's devastating! Free Beer's wife talked to his fart again! He farted while she was in the bathroom and when she came out, she asked what he had said. This all happened after he pounded ice cream and candy like Augustus Gloop.

Hour 3
A man was fined $25,000 for talking on his phone during a flight, even though he was taking a phone call about a legitimate life or death decision that had to be made. Based on this, we talked about Producer Joe's refusal to shut off his cell phone and laptop during takeoff or flight because doing so would hinder him from watching Gossip Girl. More Mel Gibson tapes have been released. Check out his latest trash spewing in the Cool Links section. Based on a story that Free Beer told about a woman emasculating her husband at the driving range, we took calls from people about how they have been embarrassed in public by their significant other.

Hour 4
We meet two of our new interns this morning and immediately assigned nicknames: Rape Stache Wethands and Chompers. Check out their pictures on the Photos page! In the FBHW Report, we talked about how John Stamos could be in trouble for allegedly having some kind of sexual contact with an underage girl. We played some of the old timey song "My Girls Pussy" this morning, which obviously was about a cat. This reminded us of some of the other filthy old songs that we've played before, so we dug them out and had a listen.

Hour 5
While talking about angry emails this morning, Steve's angry emailing habit was discussed. Shockingly, both Steve and Free Beer still had email exchanges from over a year ago during the time of the negotiations for Steve to join the show. It was concluded that his negotiation techniques were not traditional. To close out the show, we took calls from people telling us about their job stereotypes, and also played some completely unedited audio of Mel Gibson and Bear the rainbow guy. Talk to you on Thursday!

Monday, July 12, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Monday, July 12, 2010

Hour 1
We kicked off the morning with a list of the top paid athletes in various sports. It'll make you sick when you see how much some guys get paid. A group of guys were playing a drinking game in which the loser was set on fire. The loser in this case decided to have his buds light his prosthetic leg on fire and it burned extremely quickly. He then got nude and walked to the hospital because his buddies didn't want to get a DUI. Nice friends!

Hour 2
During the CWTTAB segment, we talked about a variety of topics like the oil spill, a possible AIDS cure and the World Cup final. We were in Traverse City, MI over the weekend to visit our affiliate Real Rock 95.5 and had quite a few stories from the trip. We managed to cause a few Frisbee-related injuries while introducing a band!

Hour 3
Producer Joe is just days away from his big trip to LA to see Lindsay Lohan off as she goes to jail. Sponsors are being gathered and the vehicle will be painted soon! We played some audio of a guy named Ryan from the Real World that loves cuddling with dudes and touching people's ears. He's pretty creepy. Mel Gibson's most recent rant has been released, so we played that audio this morning. You can hear all of it in the Cool Links section.

Hour 4
A new batch of interns will be starting over the next few weeks, so there was some discussion about their wet hands, personalities and nicknames. Based on a story Steve told, we took calls from people about the weird stuff that your grandparents give you for no reason. In the FBHW Report, we talked about Spain winning the World Cup and Jesse Jackson weighing in on the LeBron James news. A cable installer wrote a blog that talked about finding a 12 year old kids secret room containing a beer fridge, pot, and a TV. Based on this, we took calls from people about the strange things that they had found in someone's house while working.

Hour 5
While at a wake last week for his uncle, Producer Joe had an awkward moment when he was introduced as "the guy from the calendar", referring to his tastefully nude calendar from a few years back. The Barefoot Bandit has finally been captured! We discussed how ridiculous this story was and how it would definitely be turned into a movie very soon. Talk to you on Tuesday!

Friday, July 09, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Friday, July 9, 2010

Hour 1
Today we started talking about how Steve has very fiery personality when you listen to his voicemail that he has. He has the"hey guys" attitude, and it makes him sound a little like a douche. Zane then went on a small tangent about a group of different black actors when we got on the topic of Denzel Washington in "The Book of Eli", which sucked by the way. We then talked about a nanny that died of super arousal. They came to this conclusion when they found porno on a laptop and a vibrator sitting in her.

Hour 2
Joe got into a car accident yesterday with an older woman. He ruined her dinner plans for the night and he felt extremely bad about it, but not really. The lady overreacted just a little bit. We then played a round of Interns vs. A-Team, which was very entertaining.

Hour 3
There have been studies done that say women between 30 and 45 tend to be a little bit "freakier" than women that are younger than them. The big news has been announced by LeBron James. He decided that it would be best for him to take his A game to Miami. Cleveland now extremely hates him and are burning his jersey in the street. We played a round of Name that Tune: Movie Score edition.

Hour 4
In the FBHW Report today we talked about Michael Lohan and how he dropped a fat F- Bomb on Shepard Smith while being called a crappy father after Lindsay's sentencing. We learned that he's just about as crazy as she is. We had an interview with Bear, the Double Rainbow Guy and had a blast doing it.

Hour 5
Joe may have a new stunt in the near future where he will drive a van all the way to LA to go and be Lindsay Lohan's number 1 fan as she goes to the slammer. On his way he would end up picking up Bishop and the Double Rainbow Guy. We began getting sponsors for the trip and it looks like it's actually going to happen. We finished the show off with a round of Name that Blank. Thanks for listening. Have a good weekend, till Monday!

Thursday, July 08, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Hour 1
To kick off the show, we talked about a story from Pennsylvania with a 91-year-old woman who dug up her husband's corpse and kept him in the garage for the past 10 years. All this story leads to is questions of how an 81-year-old could dig up a dead body and carry it home. Some former congresswoman left her 1991 VW Jetta in the congress parking lot even though she wasn't allowed to after she became a lobbyist. Instead of just moving the car, she made a really lame excuse for why she left it there. We also talked about a story where a 31-year-old girl imitated being a 14-year-old in order to date another young girl.

Hour 2
There was a crazy drunk homeless guy in front of the radio station today. Joe dealt with him by claiming he was calling the police. This led us to talk about Joe's other encounters with the police and his odd living arrangements. We then replayed calls from yesterday about difficult situations and if couples are still together. We started talking about the LeBron James decision that is coming tonight, finally, and the circus that it has become. We then read through a list of the early indicators of divorce. Some were obvious, some seemed stupid.

Hour 3
We went in depth and broke down LeBron's decision coming tonight. Not really, but we did talk about all the hoopla surrounding his decision. Somehow this led us to talk about a paternity claim going around by a guy claiming he is LeBron's father. We got the guy on the phone to talk about it. That interview is available for free in the Audio Corner of the website. Going into the third segment about LeBron, we talked about a new development with the story about his mom maybe sleeping with a Cleveland Cavalier. After finishing with LeBron talk, Free Beer told us about his near car accident yesterday after leaving the car wash. They put too much shine on his tires and he almost couldn't stop.

Hour 4
We played a news story from Tennessee where a new superhero is planning on preventing crime and saving the city of Columbia! He has zero talent or anything and is more likely to be killed than do any good. In the Free Beer and Hot Wings Report, we discussed the latest reported audio from Mel Gibson that is filled with racial slurs and anger towards seemingly every race and person. We also listened to the audio of Larry King's show last night which caught two old people entirely out of the current events loop. Elliot from Traverse City was the contestant for Dumber than Zane Trivia today and played for $1,600.

Hour 5
We talked about Joe's doctor's visit yesterday and his odd reaction to something that shouldn't happen at his age. During this discussion, we discovered the doctor also checked something that usually isn't checked at a doctor's office. The doctor has previously done this to Joe. During the commercial break, Zane finally brought up a quirk he noticed to Hot Wings, his narrow feet. They look like lady feet. You can see his feet on the website in the Photos section! To finish out the show, we took calls about who does the least amount of work in an 8-hour day. See ya Friday!

Wednesday, July 07, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Hour 1
The show started today off by talking about a story about a trucker that killed himself trying to crash his truck for insurance money. Turns out the plan didn't work out too well and he died. We then talked about the book called "Wrong" which says that most of what experts say is false a high percentage of the time. Zane somehow got on the topic of him once being told saying "Back in the day" sounds too black and that the audience will stop listening if he says it again.

Hour 2
Today was Zanes 40th Birthday and he decided to buy himself a new belt buckle. He bought it because he saw Kid Rock wearing one similar to it. He got a brutal beat down for the belt buckle being extremely gay. This was followed by a round of Paired with an idiot. Free Beer was in the office the other day and overheard a conversation about a guy who lost a massive amount of weight in a short amount of time, and the women in the office automatically assumed that this meant he was cheating on his girlfriend. The hour ended with Zane talking about Hot Wings' runny go (a new word for jizz) looking like egg snot.

Hour 3
Bristol Palin had her acting debut a few days ago, and she can't really act. Next we talked about the fan that fell from the upper deck at a Rangers/ Indians game when he tried to grab a foul ball. Barry williams and the girlfriend he had his attorney break up with are getting back together. We asked the audience for their bad relationship stories so we can guess whether they're still together or not.

Hour 4
The Double Rainbow Guy video that we watched a few days ago has been auto tuned, and it doesn't sound have bad! Today in the FBHW Report we talked about Lindsay Lohan being sentenced to 90 days in jail, and also how LeBron James will have a one hour special on ESPN to announce who he will play for next. We then shared our stories of things that have scarred us for life.

Hour 5
In the last hour of the show we shared more of our scarring stories and took some of your calls as well. We talked more about Nolan Ryan and the fan that fell from the upper deck of the Rangers game. We finished the show off by mocking Zane a little more about his gay belt buckle. Talk to ya Thursday!

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Hour 1
To start off the show, we found out intern Wiener 5(2) got a job, at our radio station nonetheless! This led to the guys reminiscing about their first crappy old radio jobs. These included awesome costumes and working for almost nothing. Glamour Magazine published a list of new terms for sex acts which already have names, which all seemed pointless to us.

Hour 2
We recapped the craziness that was Producer Joe's latest stunt in Gary, Indiana and nobody can believe all the media attention Joe got. Grand Rapids station mayor Heinz called in to tell us about his online dating interaction where he thinks he was discriminated against because of listening to the show. We talked about a news story that talked about the new rage with kids getting high on a certain spice. It seems very difficult and uncomfortable. We also replayed Joe's stunt from Gary, Indiana, which some people are calling the best Joe stunt ever.

Hour 3
We watched a video of a guy who captured a double rainbow and had a strange reaction to it...weeping and sounding creepy. Zane wants to do show paintball outings monthly, but doesn't think he should invite Wiener 1 again because everybody hated him after the last time. He also told us about his trip to Dolly Parton's waterpark and a church in Tennessee where he saw an older priest look like he was dying in the 100 degree church. The priest then tried to shake down the congregation to replace the broken air conditioner.

Hour 4
Japanese competitive eater Kobayashi was arrested at the Nathan's World Famous hot dog eating competition Saturday for trying to storm the stage. Apparently he couldn't compete because he didn't sign a contract with Major League Eating. Wait, there is a league for eating? Some lady in Texas won the lottery for the fourth time, each time more than one million dollars! We then took calls about how lucky people are. Mel Gibson was reportedly caught on tape berating his now ex-wife and mother of his child with racial slurs and threats. The audio has not been released yet, but is anybody really surprised? Dave Chapelle went semi-crazy on an airplane last week. He grabbed the pilot by the arms and wanted to know when to land. He was deemed a security threat and the plane had to land. The Bachelor guy and the girl who he chose were on TV again and there were fake tears and yelling abound. "

Hour 5
At a bike race yesterday, Zane mistook one black man for another and felt terrible about it. He claims they look alike, but Zane still feels like a racist. Former Playboy Playmate Kendra Wilkinson is releasing a book. Naturally, she told the story about the first time she had sex with Hugh Hefner. It didn't sound like a great experience. To finish the show, we replayed the audio of the loser who started crying about the rainbow. See ya Wednesday!

Monday, July 05, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Monday, July 5, 2010

The show is on vacation and will be back live on Tuesday, July 6. Today's best-of show included the following segments: Producer Joe's Street Raspberries, The Dudely Lama Interview, Zane's moose knuckle problem and making is brother puke, Producer Joe's Snail Face, Ragnar Bengstonn the male breast-feeding Swede, Things to do before you die, Chris Trew of the Air Sex Championships, The Zane's teach their son about pleasuring himself, Producer Joe births a baby calf, Jack Lalanne Interview, Joyce Dales from SweetOnGeeks.com, Producer Joe's Liquid Ass Barf Scarf, Intern Dr. Rob's Internview with the writer of fat people books, Dude Shadoway and Mary Jo Buttafuoco and Producer Joe eats an onion. We'll be back live tomorrow!

Friday, July 02, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Friday, July 2, 2010

The show is on vacation all week and will be back live on Tuesday, July 6. Today's best-of show included the following segments: Producer Joe's Are These Your Panties Challenge, The 10% Rule discussion, Internview - Internet Porn Jenni and Mike Reno from Loverboy, Tono Tono Guy, Bumvertising, Conspiracy talk with Joe Rogan, Dude Shadoway interviews David Faustino, Worst bad guys in WWF History, Liquid Ass Barf Scarf Stand-up Comedy, Frank Caliendo Interview, Dave Winfield interview with numerous Free Beer interruptions, Talk to the Tape - Jack Black, Eric Zane's Muscle Exchange, Producer Joe's Yo Gabba Gabba Food Order, Dude Shadoway with the Soup Nazi Larry Thomas and Talk to the Tape with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Talk to you on Monday!

Thursday, July 01, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Thursday, July 1, 2010

The show is on vacation all week and will be back live on Tuesday, July 6. Today's best-of show included the following segments: Producer Joe's Snail Face, Eric Zane's Self Help Book, The Super Bowl Not Necessarily Gay Calendar bet, Letters to us at age 17, A woman kicked off of a flight for being slutty, Jerome Bettis Interview, Producer Joe tells a co-worker he loves them, Mystery guest - The Montgomery Flea Market guy, Women's Panel on sexual fantasies, Prince Fred's big TV show idea, Producer Joe's Sarah Pahlin Cheerleader, Jack LaLanne Interview, and Milton's Internview with Maury Povich. Talk to you on Friday!

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

The show is on vacation all week and will be back live on Tuesday, July 6. Today's best-of show included the following segments: Women's Panel - What women think about during sex, Zane confused about the Mariner's manager, Are Jackalopes real and checking in with Jim McGreevey, Zane's dad speaks in 70's catch phrases, Joe and Steve's Text Message Theater, Mike Demarco from the Alibi Network, Who would you apologize to now, Producer Josh does Mace Eyes, Producer Joe cries on the Daytona bus, Smells that turn you on, A classic PA Prank and Anything is funny with Benny Hill music, Producer Joe's Backhanded Compliment Challenge and PA Prank and Frank Small Talk's rating system and multiple swears. Talk to you on Thursday!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

The show is on vacation all week and will be back live on Tuesday, July 6. Today's best-of show included the following segments: Bob Saget Interview, Producer Joe's Make out til you get thrown out challenge, Buster Martin Interview - The 101 year old marathon runner, Prince Fred Von Anhalt Interview - Car troubles and his sex life, Tom Arnold Interview, Zane word scramble and other word scrambles, Hot Wings's Charles Barkley and Zane's black Roger Clemens Impressions, Dude Shadoway with Bobby Boris Pickett and HW's Climate Mash parody, Producer Joe's Escalator Marathon, Razorhawk the lame superhero interview, A classic Whatcha doin at the courthouse, Pa Prank and Things you found out about your spouse after the marriage, Out of control bachelor party stories and discussion on Professional gamblers. Talk to you on Wednesday!

Monday, June 28, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Monday, June 28, 2010

The show is on vacation all week and will be back live on Tuesday, July 6. Today's best-of show included the following segments: Master Sugoi - Author of Pornogami, Dude Shadoway Interviews Andy Williams, Interview with Prophet Yahwey, Scare someone awake Halloween Challenge, Polygamist talk, Sal Salome Interview, Producer Joe in Gary, Indiana, The Plumpynut Incident, Miss Teen SC on the Today Show, What's the worst thing someone had said to you, Master Flynn - Jedi lightsaber teacher, 8 year old rap superstar Bentley Greene and Impressions court. Talk to you on Tuesday!

Friday, June 25, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Friday, June 25, 2010

Hour 1
Zane came in to the studio very excited this morning. He attended gun school last night and shot a handgun with his son. He even got a fancy certificate and a patch that we suggested he sew on to his triathlon costumes. Free Beer's wife took their dogs to the groomer yesterday and when they picked them up, they realized that the groomers had painted their nails and put bows in their hair...even the male dog. You can see pictures of this on the Photos page.

Hour 2
Producer Joe is on the road this morning, on his way to Gary, Indiana for his stunt at Michael Jackson's boyhood home. We checked in with him early this morning. We then got two of the worst calls ever during the CWTTAB segment. In the Cool Links section, you'll see the video that we discussed this morning of the bad parents letting their kids play on the oil-soaked beach. Andy 2 Times and Wiener 2 (5) teamed up once again to play Interns vs. A-Team. Wiener took a good mocking for his over-analysis of a simple story he was trying to tell.

Hour 3
All of the housewives from The Real Housewives of NJ are basically broke. None of us really care about this because we hate them because they flaunt their wealth (that they did not earn). We talked about a family that was on Oprah that spends $700 a week on fast food, never cook at their house and never eat together. That seemed extremely dysfunctional. For some reason, we had a big debate about the nickname of the New Zealand soccer team. Friend of the show Captain Combs called in to give us some completely incorrect information and was mocked badly for it. After checking in with Producer Joe again live from Gary, Indiana, we played another round of Name That Blank.

Hour 4
In the FBHW Report this morning, we talked about the dope couple from The Bachelor once again. Everyone hates them. Also, we played Obama's Bush-esque "Twitters" comment from a speech recently. We were supposed to talk to Helio Castroneves this morning on the show, but we were stood up. In the next break, we got his assistant on the phone to explain what happened, but little details were provided. Instead, we talked about the details that are coming out about the accusations of inappropriate sexual advances by Al Gore.

Hour 5
Somehow, we were able to get Helio Castroneves on the phone! He ended up being a super nice guy so we talked to him for a little while about his new book. The last part of the show was completely dedicated to talking to Producer Joe on location in Gary, Indiana at the boyhood home of Michael Jackson. Joe managed to get interviewed by about 6 different news agencies, including TV stations in Chicago and Los Angeles! Keep checking the website for that video!

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Hour 1
Zane's modem was fried during a recent thunderstorm. Talking about this somehow led to talking about an article that Steve found that says that the iPad is revolutionizing the internet porno business. All porno websites are now redoing their content so it will work on the iPad. We talked about the effects that this is having on Steve's girlfriend's website, CakeFarts.com. The website Heavy.com put out a list of the worst names ever. They referenced one of our favorite internet clips of all time, Love Connection contestant Robert Faggot!

Hour 2
The US team beat Algeria yesterday in the 91st minute. Everyone went nuts. We played the audio from the Spanish broadcast and agreed that it is much more interesting than the English broadcast. Zane, Joe, Steve, Wiener 1 and a bunch of other people played paintball yesterday and of course it couldn't go off without incident. Wiener 1 claimed to have "found his calling", yet everyone else playing hated him. We had actor and comedian Tracy Morgan on the show again this morning, and ONCE AGAIN wondered why he was not nearly as entertaining as his other appearances.

Hour 3
A 14 year old boy was arrested for abduction when he was simply trying to help a little girl that had lost track of her mother in a Burlington Coat Factory. Apparently, the cop that arrested him has had issues with racism in the past. Does Oprah hate handicapped people? An article that is posted in the Cool Links section may make you think so! She's holding a contest and a kid with cerebral palsy was winning, when all of a sudden, another girl came out of nowhere to take the lead. Based on the story of a woman who set fire to her office to get a half day off from work, we tried to get people on the phone who had gone to similar lengths for time off. The results weren't so good.

Hour 4
The Bachelor star Jake Pavelka and his former fiancé Vienna Girardi have split. She's talking to the media about how he never wanted to have sex with her, so of course the assumption is that he's gay. In the first FBHW Report this morning, we talked about the Wimbledon match that has been delayed twice and is now the longest game in history, as well as the World Cup. Sunny in TN was the contestant this morning on Dumber Than Zane Trivia, worth $1,200.

Hour 5
Producer Joe is not very excited about his stunt tomorrow, which will take him to the boyhood home of Michael Jackson, Gary, Indiana. He feels as though he will be harmed by the mob of people that will no doubt there on the one year anniversary of MJ's death. In the second FBHW Report, we talked about how Al Gore was accused of 'unwanted sexual contact' with a massage therapist in 2006. We closed the show by talking to comedian Greg Giraldo about his roll on the show Last Comic Standing.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Hour 1
We started the show talking about how a personal jet pack may actually be on the market soon. Unfortunately, it's going to cost about $80,000 and will only go 60 MPH. For us to be interested, it has to be cheap and go twice as fast. At a fishing tournament in NC, the lack of a fishing license for one team member ended up costing the winner a ton of money. Check out the story in the Cool Links section.

Hour 2
Zane talked this morning about how he woke up his entire family at 3AM because he couldn't find a P90X DVD. It turned out that it was sitting in the exact same spot that he had put it last time. We of course determined that he really hid the disc himself so that he could wake his family while nude and talk about his muscles on the radio. Somehow, friend of the show Kendall was brought up and assumed to be Zane's gay lover of sorts. Bummer for Kendall. Stephanie made the lists today for Paired With an Idiot and was killed by Zane and assigned a ditz voice for no reason. In the next break, we talked to Stephanie about her big argument with her boyfriend recently. He was pissed because she cut out pictures of trucks from his diesel truck magazine. You can see the collage on the Photos page. We determined that she's a redneck and he's a bigger one. We finally have something to mock her for!

Hour 3
Cigarettes in NY will soon be close to $11 a pack once a new cigarette tax goes in to effect! That's insane! We played two clips from The Soup this morning, which you can see in the Video Reel. The first clip showed a contestant on The Bachelorette singing an awful song to the woman. The second clip was of a woman that loves her poodle just a little too much. Free Beer told us the story this morning about a bride who had slept with most of the dudes in the bridal party. Based on this, we took calls from people who have to deal with ex's on a regular basis.

Hour 4
We talked about a woman that left more of an inheritance to her dog than she did to her son when she died. The son is now contesting it in court, saying his mother was brainwashed into doing so. In the FBHW Report, we talked about the Seinfeld/Lady Gaga feud, and also about the documentary on Michael Jackson's chimp Bubbles. General Stanley A. McChrystal will be meeting with President Obama this morning to try and explain his quotes from a recent Rolling Stone article. We took a bunch of calls from listeners on this topic.

Hour 5
In the Cool Links section, you'll see an interesting article that we discussed this morning about predictions for the year 2050. A research company asked people about things that could possibly happen in the next 40 years. We then took some listener calls with their predictions. Be sure to tune in for Dumber Than Zane Trivia tomorrow morning at 8:30 Eastern/7:30 Central. The pot is at $1,200!

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Hour 1
Michael Jackson's estate has made over $1B since his death just one year ago. We determined that his father used to "punch out the hits" when Michael was young. MJ's Mom is taking his kids to Gary, Indiana to remember their father on Friday, which is the one year anniversary of his death. While talking about this, we came up with the idea to send Producer Joe there as well for a Joe Stunt. We found out today that Manute Bol, who recently died, actually coined the phrase "my bad".

Hour 2
Free Beer's family was pissed at us and thought that someone in the family died because of us saying "thoughts and prayers go out to Free Beer's family" all day yesterday. Apparently, don't get "humor". While in Las Vegas over the weekend, Free Beer was asked to be a wingman by a friend. Instead of helping his friend get in with the chicks, he insulted the girls by blatantly calling them whores. We have two stunts in the works for this week and tried to decide which one we should do first. One is the fake a soccer injury based on the World Cup video we watched yesterday. For the other, we want to send Producer Joe to Michael Jackson's boyhood home in Gary, Indiana on the first anniversary of his death.

Hour 3
Check out the Cool Links section for a link to After the Rapture Pet Care. This site is selling pet care for the pets of Christians in case they actually do end up disappearing one day when the rapture takes place. Talking about this turned into an awesome mock fest of most religions. Zane's daughter went bonkers yesterday when his son said something to her that made her mad. Zane then wished for Hot Wings to have a daughter so he will be able to experience these types of sibling interactions at some point in his life. Based on a news story about a guy that killed himself with his own homemade guillotine, we asked the audience to call in and finish the following sentence: I have a homemade _______ in my house. We got some calls that were very surprising!

Hour 4
We signed Wiener 1 up for CougarLife.com this morning and we're trying to get him a hot cougar for his birthday, which is today. We did this after hearing the commercial that Joe heard on a Chicago radio station over the weekend. In the FBHW Report, we talked about how Bernie Madoff is supposedly bragging to fellow inmates about how he may have funneled $9B to a few different people before he went to prison. Inspired by a conversation Free Beer had over the weekend, we asked listeners to call in and tell us why they listen to the show, even though they feel they're not supposed to.

Hour 5
The restaurant Friendly's has a new burger on the menu that uses two grilled cheese sandwiches as the bun. It's 1500 calories but it looks delicious! Check it out in the Cool Links section. A woman wrote a letter to President Obama pleading for him to stop her boyfriend's deportation. Immigration officials responded to her letter by showing up at her house to deport him since she revealed where he was. To close out the show, we went over the list of the top 9 chick cars and had listeners call in with their additions to the list.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Monday, June 21, 2010

Hour 1
Since Free Beer was out today, Zane decided that it would be fun to say "thoughts and prayers go out to Free Beer's family" throughout the show. It worked. We got a million email and Facebook messages about it. Zane just got his sons report card last night. It's so serious that he cant even talk about the repercussions on the radio. Zane also competed in a triathlon this weekend. His buddy decided that it was appropriate behavior to drop his suit in the water, amongst about 100 other dudes, and take a poo while swimming around.

Hour 2
Manute Bol has died. We pulled up some old pictures of him standing next to Spud Webb who was approximately 2 feet shorter than him. The picture looks crazy. Zane is organizing a show paintball game later in the week and is trying to convince Hot Wings to come along. This reminded us of the last time we played paintball together and how funny it was to watch one fat guy that wouldn't do anything but defend the flag. Producer Joe was in Chicago this weekend and heard a commercial on the radio for a website called Cougar Life. It's a website for women to find young guys, or young guys to find older women. They have a ridiculous jingle that we couldn't stop playing all morning.

Hour 3
During the break, a listener sent us a user name and password for Cougar Life, so we browsed some of the local cougars. 99% of them are gross. We played a news story on the continuing BP debacle, including how BP CEO Tony Hayward has been transferred out of the US and was seen in a big boat race on his 52 foot yacht this weekend. We also played the audio of a news story covering nude bikers in San Francisco. They were somehow trying to raise awareness about our dependency on foreign oil. We then replayed Producer Joe's Vuvuzela Hobo Jamboree from last week.

Hour 4
Producer Joe travelled to the Warrior Dash this weekend. He was excited for three reasons, and was let down on all counts. In the FBHW Report, we talked about the happenings at the World Cup this weekend including the US being stripped of a goal for no reason, and the player named Kaka who got a red card for absolutely nothing. Allen Iverson said over the weekend that he is planning to make a comeback in the NBA next season. We also talked about the no-name golfer that won the US Open over the weekend.

Hour 5
Based on World Cup discussion, we were already brainstorming this morning about the possibilities for a Producer Joe stunt later in the week. We're pretty sure we have all of the details worked out. An 8 year old kid in Rhode Island was sent home because his hat featured small plastic Army soldiers glued to it. This was his dedication to the troops. The school claimed zero tolerance because the soldiers have tiny guns in their hands, but that's ridiculous because they are tiny Army men and obviously not a threat to anyone. Dina Lohan, mother of Lindsay, was given a card from an ice cream shop that entitled her to all the ice cream she wanted. She abused the card so often that they took it away from her. This caused her to call 911 on them for this. To close out the show, we played the audio of a guy that called 911 because he jumped on to the back of a semi truck and it carried him 17 miles. We then took calls from listeners who have had similar experiences. Toughts and prayers to Free Beer's family!

Friday, June 18, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Friday, June 18, 2010

Hour 1
We started the show talking about a light saber that is now available for purchase. It can cause cancer and burn you because it uses a real laser. We talked about an article that listed businesses that will be extinct by the year 2012, like Blockbuster, Zales and Kia motors. We wondered why Zales would be on the list and decided that it was because people are more aware of blood diamonds. The humor, or lack thereof, in the movie Blood Diamonds was then discussed. Readers Digest was also on the list, which makes complete sense because you can only find it doctor's offices alongside Highlights and the blue bible. Stanford is working on a drug that may extend the life of a person by 30 %. That's good news for Zane, who wants to live forever.

Hour 2
Zane revealed to us this morning that while driving home yesterday, he stopped a child in the street to take a picture of his dog. It seems like he is stalking this dog now, because he talks about it often. A flight attendant had to take over for a co-pilot when they were unable to continue the flight because of sickness. Some are calling her a hero, but we disagreed. Check out the Cool Links section for the article we discussed this morning about human heads being found in a Southwest Airlines cargo facility. Police are investigating whether or not they were headed for the black market. Andy 2 Times and Wiener 2 (5) teamed up today to take on the audience in Interns vs. A-Team.

Hour 3
We had an intervention with Andy 2 Times this morning about his erratic sleep schedule. He sleeps for just two hours a night and makes up for it with various naps during the day. We told him it was time to become a big boy and sleep like regular people. The Daily Show did a great piece on presidents, past and present, talking about how the country needed to break its dependence on foreign oil. Their speeches were nearly the same word-for-word. Hot Wings (aka Tree King or Captain Conifer) was overheard in the hallway talking trees on the phone with his tree friends. He then gave us a tree update on the forest he's assembling in his yard.

Hour 4
We went over a list of what one article referred to as the greatest 10 catch phrases of all time. Most were very stupid, including "the plane, the plane" from Fantasy Island. Hilarity ensued when Zane couldn't remember that the guy's name was Tattoo. In the FBHW Report, we talked about BP CEO Tony Hayward being grilled by Congress yesterday. We also discussed the stupid comments made by Texas rep. Joe Barton, who later had to apologize for his apology. We closed the hour with a game of Name That Blank.

Hour 5
The Los Angeles Lakers won the 2010 NBA Championship last night. Since we played some audio of Ron Artest, we were reminded of the classic Ron Artest/Dude Shadoway interview and replayed it. Since the World Cup is going on now and the vuvuzela horns are getting so much attention for being annoying, we decided to have Producer Joe out on the street this morning assembling his Vuvuzela Hobo Jamboree. They marched around playing their horns and showing their love of soccer.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Hour 1
Earlier in the week, we talked about the new Rock Band video game. The guitars will be more life-like. Originally, Free Beer thought this sounded stupid, but has since changed his mind. He saw a video of the new guitars and he now thinks it looks awesome. While sitting next to his wife on the couch yesterday, he was playing Red Dead Redemption when out of nowhere came a hardcore sex scene. We checked out a video online that featured that scene and it was indeed hardcore. A crew of journalists, working on a story about how Mexico is a safe travel destination, were kidnapped by an indigenous tribe. We talked about tribes like the Incas and Mayans, but it seemed like our 6th grade Social Studies knowledge was not retained. Instead, we just talked about what we thought we knew about them based on photos and their crappy calendar.

Hour 2
Zane brought up a list of what he refers to as human body flaws, including being able to bite your lip, having no meat on the shins, and the butthole being so close to the vagina. He thinks that the butthole should be on the bottom of your foot instead. We found out that our intern Wiener 2 is super-gay for Bradley Cooper, based on his review of the new A-Team movie. We got a show code email from a girl named Holly that wants us to name her ex-boyfriend before we read the awful things she has to say about him. We decided to mull it over a bit before revealing the details of her email. Check out the Cool Links section to read the story and watch the video of the Seattle police officer that punched a girl after a jaywalking incident, and the controversy surrounding it.

Hour 3
We revealed the show code email that Holly sent in. Free Beer wanted to reveal the guy's name and personal information. Strangely enough, Zane was the voice of reason and managed to convince him not to do so. A North Carolina man called 911 when he spotted something that he described as Bigfoot in his yard. The man described himself as a "mountain man" and he sure lived up to the name! Since Father's Day is this Sunday, we had people call in with their weird dad stories. If they were deemed to be the weirdest, they won a $50 gift certificate to Berries.com!

Hour 4
Intern Wiener 1 revealed in an email to Free Beer this morning that he is looking for love on the internet. He has signed up for an online dating service. We had him log in to his account in the studio so we could see some of the ladies that he was being matched up with. In the FBHW Report this morning, we talked about the Hasselbeck/Griffin fight on The View and also about Al Gore's affair. Vinne from PA was the contestant on Dumber Than Zane Trivia this morning, worth $800 from Cat Footwear.

Hour 5
This morning on the show, we talked to Dan Coyne, a man who donated his kidney and may now be losing his job as a school social worker. He received a letter from his employer saying that if he did not relocate his residence inside the city limits, he would be fired because living outside of the district is against school policy. To close out the show, we talked more about the North Carolina mountain man that saw Bigfoot. We also took two more qualifiers with weird dad stories.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Hour 1
Charlie Sheen's car was stolen and driven off a cliff...again. This is now the second time that this has happened to him and all of the details of the crime were almost exactly the same from the first time, including the type of car and the location. A Swede is going to try to go over 400 MPH on an electric powered motorcycle, which would set a world record. Hot Wings used this opportunity to chime in with some car info that no one else understood, nor cared about.

Hour 2
With a win last night, the Lakers have forced a Game 7 in the NBA Finals. We discussed the playoffs, as well as the reffing for a while this morning. We played another round of Paired With an Idiot early on the show this morning for the chance to get qualified for the monthly laptop giveaway. Based on a story that we heard in the news about a guy that ran back in to his burning house to save a fish, we asked the question: If your house was burning and you could go back in and save one thing, what would it be?

Hour 3
Producer Joe managed to track down Alvin Greene, the man who came out of nowhere to win the South Carolina Democratic Senate Primary. Alvin wasn't really ready for the ambush interview. An Arizona mom was going to move to California so she could party and live it up, but wasn't planning on taking her kids with her. As cops started to take her away, her 11 year old tried once more time to connect with her by hugging her and saying "I love you". She punched the kid in the stomach! We talked about Jon Metz this morning, who got his arm stuck in a furnace while repairing it. He ended up spending three days there before attempting to saw his arm off to get free.

Hour 4
We played a bunch of audio from the Presidential Address last night, where President Obama tough talked the oil spill and gave extremely vague details about the entire situation. In the FBHW Report, we talked about how BP's complaint hotline isn't actually a hot line. There are operators answering the phone, but messages are not being passed on and notes are not being taken. We also discussed how Perez Hilton may be facing jail time after tweeting an up-skirt picture of Miley Cyrus. Check out the Cool Links section for a picture of the statue in St. Joe, MI that many are saying is obscene and sexually explicit! In response to our topic yesterday about spouses sleeping apart a few days a week, we got an email from a guy that tried that same thing a while ago. It didn't work and they got divorced and he ended up giving his wife everything except for a set of patio furniture. He considered that to be the best day of his life.

Hour 5
We talked again later in the show about Alvin Greene and played some audio of Jon Stewart talking about the story. We played audio from two animal-related videos that are in the Video Reel: the man that was bitten by a shark and cried like a little girl and the bullfighter who was arrested for backing out of a fight. We closed the show talking about the teacher who was fired from her job for having pre-marital sex. Talk to you tomorrow!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Hour 1
A guy in Australia moved into a house across from the most popular suicide spot in the country. He has been credited with saving 160 lives in the time he has lived there! If he sees someone standing there, he'll invite them in to talk about their problems. Because it was mentioned that the guy was 84 years old, Zane started talking about how much crazier his father has gotten since the last time he spoke to him. The smallest, dumbest things seem to amaze him now. We had two stories this morning involving Apple's new iPad. First, you can now get chocolate-covered iPads. This seemed pretty silly to all of us. Secondly, a guy tried to trade an iPod touch and some pot for an iPad on Craigslist. Not surprisingly, he was arrested when cops saw the ad and set up a sting.

Hour 2
Zane had a miserable time at the triathlon in Iowa this weekend. He traveled all that way there, but almost didn't get to race due to bad weather conditions. All of the events were cut in half. It is now being said that Abby Sunderland's family (the 16 year old girl who tried and failed to sail solo around the world) put her in danger for the possibility of getting a reality show. We wondered this morning why child protective services haven't stepped in yet. Oprah is putting on a contest to find a replacement after she leaves TV next year. A guy with cerebral palsy and decent sense of humor is running away with the votes! Check out the story in the Cool Links section.

Hour 3
Rick Barber is a Tea Party candidate who has a political ad out that features him having a conversation with George Washington. In the commercial, Washington encourages people to "Gather their Armies". While talking about this, we talked again about South Carolina mystery candidate Alvin Greene and tried to get him on the air. Free Beer's friend told him about a plan that he had to execute revenge on a fussy neighbor because the neighbor cut down a tree on the property line. This person is going to re-plant the tree, but just on their side of the property line. Based on this, we took calls from listeners with neighbor feud/revenge stories.

Hour 4
We played some audio of Gary Coleman's wife saying that she only took the pictures of him on his death bed so that she could remember him that way. We wondered if anyone else has taken pictures like that and got numerous calls from people who have. Check out the video in the Video Reel of the congressman assaulting a student on camera when he tried to ask him a question about an Obama policy. Free Beer read recently that couples that spend a few days out of the week apart are happier in their marriage than "traditional" couples. We debated this a bit and got some listener input as well.

Hour 5
A woman shot herself in the arm to get medical care for a pre-existing shoulder injury. In the end, it was all for nothing because the injury was not life threatening. She was pretty much just bandaged up and sent home! An actor from iCarly was on the Today Show and it's safe to say that everyone now hates him. He's 15, but talks like an adult and was on to promote healthy cooking and exercise. We closed the show with a round of Interns vs. A-Team with Andy 2 Times and Wiener 1 taking on Hot Wings.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Monday, June 14, 2010

Hour 1
We started the show by reading a fussy email that was sent in response to What Hot Wings Thinks last week about male birth control. The email didn't make much sense and it was difficult to determine the gender of the emailer. It appears that Rock Band III will be taking things just a bit too far and that it would just be easier to learn to play actual instruments and join a real band. There will now be a 25 key keyboard as part of the package.

Hour 2
Zane was off today because he competed in an exercising contest in Iowa yesterday. We took the opportunity to discuss his numerous man-crushes over the years, including Producer Joe and his newest crush, "Fast Jimmy". Country singer and sausage manufacturer Jimmy Dean has died. Many people were not even aware that there was an actual person behind the Jimmy dean brand. Free Beer witnessed a child having to return a stolen candy bar and read a letter of apology at a convenience store over the weekend. We talked about things we've stolen in the past and also learned that Steve is a big fan of stealing.

Hour 3
While talking about whether anyone ever gets trapped in a store after closing, we got a call from a guy that used to work at a place called "Pants Town". We're pretty sure that no place has ever existed called "Pants Town", so he was the recipient of a verbal beating...especially after he tried a bad pickup attempt on Stephanie, who was screening calls today. We went over a list of the 10 most broke superstars, which you can read if you click on the link in the Cool Links section. Because a new Cosmo sex survey came out recently, we had a bunch of our female listeners on the phone to take part in a Women's Forum.

Hour 4
There is a candidate running for a Congress in South Carolina that everybody is questioning because he appears to be mentally impaired. The big surprise came when he won the primary and fully intends to get the nomination! In this morning's FBHW Report, we talked about Vince Young's strip club fight and the banning of annoying horns at the World Cup. We then discussed a list of the 10 most daring delicacies from around the world. You can see that list in the Cool Links section as well.

Hour 5
Based on that list, we took calls about the strangest things you've ever eaten. WGRD's Wingstock 2010 concert took place over the weekend in Grand Rapids. We were fortunate enough to be backstage when the headliner, Snoop Dogg, arrived. His entourage and entrance were like nothing we had ever seen before! Since it was so successful earlier in the show, we decided to bring back the Women's Forum for a few more unanswered questions. Once again, the women provided some great info!

Friday, June 11, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Friday, June 11, 2010

Hour 1
Zane's daughter was in the studio yesterday with members of the band Pop Evil, who she is big fans of. Due to the nature of the show, it got a bit awkward at times when certain topics came up. We asked her what Zane is like around the house, and she said that he walks around nude a lot and announces "Nude Dude!" so no one looks. A poor old man was found in someone's garage with a vacuum on his crank. We joked that this will be Zane in about 10 years.

Hour 2
The new Karate Kid is coming out this weekend. We talked about how terrible the original was and how bad the remake appears to be. A TN listener called in and got us on the topic of Lane Kiffin, the USC Sanctions and Pete Carroll taking off to Seattle. Wally Backman was ejected from a baseball game last year and went in to a tirade. What made this so great is that he was mic'd for a piece that someone was producing and all of his obscenities were fantastic. You can see that in the Video Reel. Andy 2 Times and Wiener 2 were up again for another round of Interns vs. A-Team.

Hour 3
We went over a list of the greatest stadium sing-along songs this morning on the show. Most we agreed with, but there were some that no one had ever heard before. The complete list is in Cool Links. A 16 year old girl was attempting to become the youngest person to sail around the world. Her attempt failed and she is being rescued today. We talked about how allowing her to do this seemed to be bad parenting. We talked to one of our favorite comedians this morning, Lewis Black, about the Comedy Central premiere of his special "Stark Raving Black". He also let us know that he's working on a new book, "I'm Dreaming of a Black Christmas", due out in November. Check out the Video Reel for the video of the 13 year old girl that dropped the c-word on the Today Show!

Hour 4
There's a new kid smoker! This girl not only smokes, but also drinks beer daily. It may or may not have also been hinted that she is a lesbian. We then took calls trying to find the youngest smoker and took the opportunity to make fun of Free Beer's farmboy adolescence. Salma Hayek freaked out recently over a snake and it was caught on camera. You can see that in the Video Reel. Ben Roethlisberger told his side of the story yesterday, saying that he has to grow up and mature. We closed the hour playing another round of Name that Blank.

Hour 5
The 2010 World Cup is kicking off today. We had some nerds call in and talk about soccer rules that no one cared about. We also played Shakira's official 2010 World Cup anthem. We closed the show by revisiting the Johnny Knoxville interview from yesterday. Have a good weekend!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Hour 1
We started the show talking about the phenomenon of icing bros, bro rape, and Jack Johnson. To learn more about bro icing, check out the link in Cool Links. A guy in North Carolina hiked a mountain with ring in his pocket, ready to propose to his girlfriend. Just as he was reaching in to his pocket, they were both struck by lightning and she was killed!

Hour 2
Gary Coleman's death photos have been purchased by The Globe and have now been published. In the photos, his ex wife is posing with him. This sure seems suspect! We had a great intern beat-up session this morning. Wiener 2 was confronted about his awful filming job from the stunt last Friday. Also, Stephanie had a little tantrum yesterday after being confronted about her silly question to Free Beer. Since we would be talking to him later in the show, we replayed the classic moment when Johnny Knoxville kicked Producer Joe in the nuts at a press junket a few years back.

Hour 3
We got ahold of the Obama Ass Kick auto-tune song and played that this morning. You can see that in the Video Reel. We talked about a new credit card scam that has been happening in a bunch of hotels recently. Someone will call your hotel room and say that there was an issue with your credit card when you checked in, and get you to confirm the credit card number. Many people are falling for this. The CMT awards were on last night, hosted by Kid Rock. We played a bunch of audio from the show including an awful skit with the Jersey Shore cast and Paula Dean. We also played the audio of Ben Roethlisberger's accuser being interviewed by the police. We talked to Johnny Knoxville this morning about his new documentary "The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia". Free Beer managed to call him out on a bit of hypocrisy that he picked up on.

Hour 4
Inspired by the Johnny Knoxville interview, we played a compilation of all of his "ah-um's" and then got contestants on the line for the Ah-Um game. In this morning's FBHW Report, the CMT Awards were discussed at length. We had Bryant the IT nerd on the phone today for Dumber Than Zane Trivia, worth $400.

Hour 5
Free Beer found a video of firefighters from his home town rapping about fireworks safety. It's terrible. We played a couple of 911 calls this morning, including a drunk woman calling to ask for help finding a husband and Golden Tate's maple bar heist. We talked about the crazy story of Alex Voutsinas, who was looking at a picture of his bride when she was a child and noticed that his father and a baby him were in the background of the photo! Inspired by this, we asked for listeners to call in with their crazy coincidence stories.

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Hour 1
Zane just watched a special on Animal Planet about the French guy that is referred to as the "human spider". He can pretty much climb any building with no special equipment. He just walks up to the building and starts climbing the side of it. While going over a list of the most ridiculous Google searches, we parked on number 10 which was "How to get rid of a friendly ghost". This spurred a conversation about friendly ghosts and texting pictures of your turds to BooBerry. The rest of the searches were even more ludicrous.

Hour 2
During the CWTTAB segment, Matt called in to tell us about a time that he was in class and laughed at a most inappropriate moment. This poor woman broke down while talking about a horrible accident that her daughter was in, and he cracked up. Free Beer recalled a time that he made fun of a girl after she was run over by her boyfriend in a truck, but one of the people he laughed about this in front of was the girl's mother. Oops! While in Springfield last weekend, Free Beer made a crack about lazy eyes and it turned out the bar tender at the bar this happened at had a lazy eye! This then got us started on recalling some of Free Beer's most famous foot-in-mouth moments. Joe ran Paired With an Idiot this week, since he won last week. Nothing about it went smoothly.

Hour 3
In the NBA Finals last night, the Lakers took a 2-1 lead in the series after their win in Game 3. The much-hyped Stephen Strasburg made his major league debut last night for the Washington Nationals. The 21 year old was supposed to go six innings and no more than 90 pitches against the Pirates, but his pitch count was so low he was able to go seven innings and struck out 14 batters, including the final seven he faced and nine of the last 10! The CEO of BP has pissed a lot of people off by saying that he wants the oil spill resolved because he "wants his life back". A stoner was feeding the bears at the place he works at while high and got mauled. He now wants workman's comp, even though he was high while on the job. We asked people who are stoned at work to call in and got a ton of calls!

Hour 4
Based on the last segment, we took calls from people who were driving stoned and tried to understand their arguments for it. We then issued the pothead challenge. We asked people to who were stoned and driving to call in again, but this time, they had to give the details of what kind of car they were driving and where they were. Unbelievably, three people decided to take the challenge! We closed the hour by talking to Daily Show Correspondent Samantha Bee about some of her reporting for the show, as well as her new book "I Know I Am, But What Are You?".

Hour 5
During the FBHW Report today, we talked mostly about how sleazy Gary Coleman's ex wife is because she is reportedly shopping his death photos around. Also, his will has become public and it appears that she is not mentioned in it at all. Check out the Cool Links section for the article we talked about today about Pete Rose's corked bat. Apparently, Pete has never spoken a true word in his entire life! We closed the show by going over a list of internet porn stats that may surprise you.

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Hour 1
There are no good movies coming out this summer. Mr. T is pissed about the new A-Team movie because he says it features too much violence and sex. We wondered what Mr. T was up to now, which then led to us discussing what Hulk Hogan was up to. It turns out he's doing commercials for debt counseling. While talking about debt, Free Beer talked about loaning his friend $10,000, which he is convinced he'll never get back.

Hour 2
During the CWTTAB segment, some weirdo called in who thought he could predict the future. When asked to provide examples, he gave us "predictions" that were actually vague and terrible. On his death bed, a father told his son that his dying wish was to have his children build his casket. Zane said that in no way would he agree if a similar request was made to him. The TV show Seinfeld has made $2.7B since it's gone off the air twelve years ago! Talking about this reminded us of the great Dude Shadoway interviews with members of the Seinfeld cast. We dusted it off and played the interview that the Dude did with the Soup Nazi.

Hour 3
For the second part of our Dude Shadoway double ender, we played the old interview that the Dude did with Kenny Kramer, the guy that was the inspiration for Kramer's character. The new iPhone was introduced yesterday and Steve is pumped. He plans on buying one, but can not provide any real reason for wanting it. Friend of the show Kendall got ripped off when he tried to buy a bootleg copy of P90X on Craigslist. Some of the DVD's weren't exactly as advertised.

Hour 4
Based on the last segment, we took more calls from scam victims and people who have done the scamming. Check out the Video Reel for the video of the plane that nearly crashed in the river during the Red Bull air race in Windsor. In the FBHW Report this morning, we talked mostly about how Joran van der Sloot has confessed to the murder in Peru. We also discussed recent comments by Gary Coleman's ex wife, Shannon Price. The oldest woman in the world, Helen Thomas, apparently is an anti-Semite based on recent remarks.

Hour 5
We played the audio of one of the dumbest women ever calling in to Google because she didn't know how to shut down her Google PacMan homepage. We talked this morning to a man named Brian McCrary. Brian McCrary got a $90 ticket and went to the Bluff City Police Department website to resolve it. He saw that the domain name was about to expire and he snapped it up himself. He's now using the site provide information on the location of speed cameras. We closed the show by having people call in to bitch about things that bother them, but are not a big deal in the grand scheme of things.

Monday, June 07, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Monday, June 7, 2010

Hour 1
We started the morning by giving an update in the Tom Dong porn star samurai sword slaying. The guy who killed Dong was tazed by the police and fell from a cliff to his death over the weekend. We maintained the stance that porn stars aren't real people. A father went nuts when he found pictures of his daughters' friends' junk on her cell phone. His daughter is 17 and the friend is 23. He kidnapped the friend, tazed him for an hour and then called the cops on him. It turns out that the dad is now in trouble because he deleted the picture and there is a lack of evidence in the case.

Hour 2
We visited WQLZ this weekend, our affiliate in Springfield, IL. We had a great time and ran in to a listener that wanted to kick Joe's ass because he was rude to him last year. Joe wasn't there this year, so the listener recorded a video to tell Joe how mad he was at him. We played another round of the Ingredients game. The listeners had to call in with a product and then read the ingredients in a style that we assigned. We played a bunch of audio this morning from the MTV Movie Awards from last night. As usual, it seemed like most of the bits were not very funny at all.

Hour 3
We got an email from a guy that is thinking about calling off his wedding and wanted our advice. After reading the email, some other listeners called in to chime in on the topic. A woman in Florida won $500,000 off a scratch-off ticket recently. She is having her prize taken away because the lottery said that it was a misprint on the ticket.

Hour 4
The NAACP is going after Hallmark because they believe that a card they are selling has a racist message. We played the audio and confirmed that anyone who hears this message as racist is indeed the dumbest person on the planet. Check out the video in the Video Reel and try and determine for yourself if President Obama was indeed in the 1993 video for the song "Whoomp There It Is" by Tag Team! Theresa from The Real Housewives of NJ is $11M in debt, despite appearing to be super-rich on the television show. Based on this, we took calls from people who are living way beyond their means.

Hour 5
A woman bought a gym membership, but was then told she was too big to use the equipment at the gym. We talk about how it must have sucked to be the one to have to break the bad news to her and how Joe should have a stunt related to this. We then went through the list of interns and broke bad news to them and decided to rank them on a daily basis. The 2010 Spelling Bee happened recently and we still don't understand why this is such a big deal and why it's televised. This was also the perfect opportunity to pull out some classic audio from past spelling bee spaz kids.

Friday, June 04, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Friday, June 4, 2010

Hour 1
Zane scooted in to work today, but failed to check the weather. Right at the beginning of the show, we checked the radar and noticed massive amounts of green and yellow coming in our direction. They're set to arrive just as the show will be ending. David Carradine's wife is suing the production company that was making the movie he was working on when he hung himself trying to beat off last year. She said that because his plans changed that night, he ended up having the "accident" that killed him. We went over a list of the funniest slURL's from around the web. A slURL is a web address that can be read in ways that are different than the way they were originally intended.

Hour 2
We're heading to Springfield, IL to visit WQLZ after the show today. We talked this morning about how we turn in to a bunch of little kids when on a road trip, and try and prank call other radio stations. This should be fun! We talked more this morning about the Galarraga/Joyce perfect game story. He ended up getting a brand new Corvette! Zane noted that BP should be thanking him because it game them a one day reprieve of not being the top news story. Zane then said that the Galarraga story should be made in to a Disney movie and he fired off numerous plot points that should be used. Andy 2 Times and Wiener 2 paired up for another round of Interns vs. A-Team this morning. They took on Hot Wings and a listener.

Hour 3
Joran van der Sloot is the prime suspect in the murder of a 21-year-old Peruvian girl. This is exactly 5 years after he was accused of being the killer of Natalie Halloway while she vacationed in Aruba. He should probably stop getting himself in these bad situations. We played the news story that included the 911 call from the dine-and-dash at the Waffle House. A guy tried to stop some teenagers from running from their bill and ended up hanging on to the hood of their car going 60 MPH down the highway! We somehow got on the topic of Best Man speeches vs. Maid of Honor speeches. Hot Wings proclaimed that Best Man speeches are always funnier and he got a lot of support on the phones.

Hour 4
We talked to some IT nerd this morning named Greg Leuchs who is getting death threats from children after he created an anti-Justin Bieber ad-on for a web browser. Based on his, and other IT nerds inability to hold a conversation, we played the first ever round of the Most Interesting IT Guy Challenge! We got four contestants on the line and gave each of them 30 seconds to be interesting. You be the judge of how they did. In the FBHW Report this morning, we talked about how stupid and suspicious Gary Coleman's ex wife sounds while talking about his death. She's crazy.

Hour 5
We got a strange DVD in the mail the other day from a listener who claimed to have invented some new sexual technique that drives women crazy. He demonstrated this technique on the video and we watched it in the office yesterday and recorded our reactions. You can see that in the VIP Show Videos section of the website. We closed the show today with Producer Joe's latest stunt, the Producer Joe is an A-Hole Challenge.

Thursday, June 03, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Hour 1
Yesterday after the show, Engineer Sean tried to suggest that we get clips from the movie RV Man to go along with an interview that we planned on playing today. This was followed by a swift "F off" for no reason by Producer Joe. Tom Dong, a foot fetish porno actor, was killed by another disgruntled porno actor with a samurai sword. We decided that there would be no mourning this death. Conversation immediately turned to the world not caring about porn stars because they're not real people.

Hour 2
Intern Wiener 2 was golfing on Monday and hit a bad drive, got mad, and threw his golf club 25 feet up into a tree. That seemed ridiculous. Jimbo called in for some marriage advice during CWTTAB. His wife has turned into a nympho lately and he wants to know why. Tigers pitcher Armando Galarraga was robbed of a perfect game last night by an awful call by umpire Jim Joyce. We discussed this numerous times on today's show. Free Beer's birthday was the other day and his wife bought him a man purse. It didn't take much debate at all to convince him of this. You can see the video of his fabulous satchel on the Videos page.

Hour 3
A climbing expedition was forced to leave a climber on the summit of Everest after he went blind and started stumbling all over the place. We completely shot down the typical "at least he died doing what he loved" quotes that usually arise after things like this. No one wants to die, even if it is doing something they loved. To set up the interview we did in the next segment, we played the classic viral video "Winnebago Man". We then talked to Ben Steinbauer, the director of the documentary "Winnebago Man" that comes out soon.

Hour 4
A woman from NY named Debralee Lorenzana is claiming that she was fired for being too good looking. We did some research and discovered that she was indeed smoking hot! We took some call son this topic and Hot Wings had a comment that stopped the show because of its hilarity. Jimi from Michigan was the contestant on Dumber Than Zane Trivia this morning, with a pot of $1,200.

Hour 5
We played the audio of the lamest pickup attempt every by some douche. You can listen to that in the Cool Links section of the website. We closed the show by playing the 911 call from Gary Coleman's ex wife right after he split his melon open. Many are saying that it sounds a bit strange and that she had something to do with the fall.

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Hour 1
Zane told us this morning about the newest problem in his house: his daughter Jackie knocking on the bedroom door while he's sleeping. He finally fell asleep only four hours before his planned wake-up time when his daughter started banging on the door. This was just hours after she threw a hissy fit over not being taken to get a pedicure. Check out the Cool Links section of the website for a link to the article about the guy with no arms and legs that will be swimming the English Channel!

Hour 2
Zane's dad, who is doing a bunch of work on the Doobie Brothers' (Zane's brothers-in-law) old house, suggested that he buy an alarm system for the house. Zane agreed and gave him the OK to do it, but just days later, his father was in police custody after setting the alarm off! We switched things up during Paired With an Idiot today and instead of Free Beer, Hot Wings or Zane being paired with listeners, Producer Joe and Steve took on that responsibility. In the Cool Links section, you'll find a link to the article we discussed this morning about the most bizarre sounds that you've probably never heard.

Hour 3
A woman got in to a car accident when a bird flew in the window of her car and hit her in the face! Talking about this triggered some good ol' Free Beer farm life stories that all seemed to have to do with having little respect for life in all forms. We went over a list of the strangest sports injuries of all time after discussing the Kendry Morales broken leg from the other night. We got listeners on the phone this morning to comment about a news story we were talking about. In England, a couple was ready to get married (and already had a kid!) when the discovered that they were in fact half brother/sister. We wanted listener opinions on whether or not they should stay together or not.

Hour 4
Since both of these people were in the news today, we replayed two classic Dude Shadoway interviews with Ian Ziering and Lou Ferrigno. Both of these can now be found on the Dude Shadoway Archives page. In the FBHW Report, we mostly discussed how after 40 years of marriage, Al and Tipper Gore are calling it quits. We wanted people to call in to tell their "took a chance on love" stories. We got some good calls, until Sunny called in. She gave way too many details and her story didn't even meet the simple criteria.

Hour 5
Pickpocketers are using a new scam in which they spray feces on your and then steal the money that you just withdrew from the ATM. Apparently, it's working very well! We took the most ridiculous survey ever about what you would give up if given the options coffee, junkfood, TV, sex or driving. You can vote on that now in the newest web poll. We closed the show by playing some audio from the Daily Show of Jon Stewart killing both Obama and BP over the oil spill.

Tuesday, June 01, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Hour 1
Zane had a picnic at his house on Sunday. The day was incident free for the most part until the Doobie Brothers (Zane's brothers-in-law) got up and left just minutes before the food was ready. We talked this morning about an MMA fighter that drank some shroom tea and at some point started to believe that his buddy was the devil. Being easily sidetracked, we interrupted the story to tell a bunch of Charlie Daniels-inspired jokes about a fiddle duel he no doubt had with his buddy while playing "The Devil Went Down to Georgia". Once back on track, we found out that in reality, he took his friends heart out and ate his face.

Hour 2
We had another Rockstar Karaoke event on Friday. We learned that Steve is a pretty intense drunk. Producer Joe also told us about his interesting interactions with friend of the show and coworker Green Day Gary. Apparently, while completely bombed, he was getting all touchy. In the Video Reel, you'll see the video of the rapping weatherman that we talked about this morning. Zane had an awkward interaction with a couple of women over the weekend that ended with his wife Diana wanting to beat them up.

Hour 3
A reporter for the YES Network had her pork chop stolen at the ball game. You can see this story in Cool Links. Kendry Morales of the California Angels broke his leg after he jumped on home plate to celebrate the walk off grand slam he just hit. A woman is suing United Airlines for $1.2M after the crew on her flight failed to wake her up when the flight landed, causing her to sleep on the plane for 4 hours in the hanger. Zane was at a backyard party over the weekend when a mother told her son to whip it out and pee in front of the whole party when the boy told her that he had to go. We got one of Zane's friends on the phone who was also there to talk about the awkwardness.

Hour 4
Producer Joe secretly recorded audio of Zane talking to his penis in the office. Zane was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get changed, so he did it in the office while Joe was in there and told him not to turn around. In the FBHW Report, we talked about the insane crash at the Indy 500, and also about BP's failed top-kill procedure. A guy was awarded $1.5M after getting hateful racist calls from a bill collector. We managed to get a few people on the phone that used to work in collections to get their opinion on this.

Hour 5
After Hot Wings' hilarious (read: NOT hilarious) pinball/Jodie Foster/rape joke from the previous segment, we busted out some classic Hot Wings jokes and reminded him just how hilarious he really is. A NY man managed to survive a third story balcony fall, which is incredible by itself. What is even more incredible is that he also survived landing on a metal fence and getting a spike impaled in his head! We closed the show talking about how the NBA will be licensing team logos to pizza places so people can order special edition NBA pies.

Monday, May 31, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Mon, 31 May 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Monday, May 31, 2010

The show was off today for the Memorial Day holiday. Today's show was best-of and will be posted as both the full and segmented podcasts. We'll be back live tomorrow. Today's show included the following segments: Producer Joe's Sarah Palin cheerleader, Kevin Nealon Interview, Bindi Irwin is ugly and bad women's fashions, Aziz Ansari interview, Dude Shadoway with Andy Williams, Awful radio remote stories, Michael Townsend - the apartment in the mall guy, Shannon Whisnant - the leg in the smoker guy, Producer Joe's hospital getaway, Frank runs a Nigerian scam, Gary Glitter Rock and Roll Part 1 and 2 discussion, Eric Zane's coward dream, Zane's first aircheck, Odes to Us and Zane's Son's Crank and Joe's Mom. We'll be back live tomorrow. Talk to you then.

Friday, May 28, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Fri, 28 May 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Friday, May 28, 2010

Hour 1
A couple of idiots were driving and betting each other on how long they could hold their breath while behind the wheel. Surprisingly, one of them passed out and they crashed in to a bolder at 55MPH. A doctor has developed a fat loss procedure called cryolipolysis that can reduce fat by freezing it in a three hour procedure. You could supposedly lose 25% of fat cells in the next couple of months.

Hour 2
A reporter that has been very critical of Sarah Palin has moved in next door to her. To keep up some kind of privacy, Palin put up a 14 foot fence to prevent peeping from the reporter. Going back to a topic from yesterday, we played the audio of a Fox News story about the toddler that smokes two packs a day. Our friend Chuck from the sister station appears to be losing his mind. He's told Zane the same story a couple of times in the last 24 hours. We asked his wife, who listens to the show, to please fix Chuck because we like him and want him to be normal again. Check out the Cool Links section for the the news story we talked about this morning about a bunch of crazy hybrid animals. We especially enjoyed the "shig", which is a sheep/pig hybrid.

Hour 3
The Bret Michaels hoax theory that Zane and Producer Joe both believe is actually growing! Look in the Video Reel for the video of some news anchors that believe the same thing. Andy 2 Times and Wiener 2 paired up this morning for a game of Interns vs. A-Team. They came in to the game VERY confident.

Hour 4
Based on an off air conversation we had, we discussed the awesome Big Johnson t-shirts from the 90's. During the FBHW Report, we discussed the BP oil spill once again and how it is now bigger than the Exxon Valdes oil spill. In the Cool Links section, you'll see the link to the most sexist vintage ads. We had a ton of fun with them this morning.

Hour 5
We watched the video this morning, which you can see in the Video Reel, of a cop getting a dog un-stuck from a fence. You'll definitely want to watch it to see how it ends. We also checked out another video of the kid that was saved when he dropped off an escalator in a mall. The shopkeeper had a great catch! The most expensive house in the US is selling for about $75M, and it's going to take another $25M to get it ready to live in! Producer Joe took a brutal beating this morning because he asked if we wanted to interview comedian and brother of Eddie Murphy, Charlie Murphy. Most listeners sided with Joe, but it was fun nonetheless. We closed the show with a very fun edition of Name That Blank. We're off until Tuesday. Steve's got Best-of on Monday. Enjoy the Memorial Day Weekend!

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Thu, 27 May 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Hour 1
A couple of teachers are in trouble for dousing a fellow teacher with holy water because that teacher revealed their atheist views. There's a ton of finger pointing and everyone involved seems to be like a pain in the ass. We read a news story this morning about a young kid that had to get one of his balls removed after a game of Sack Tap went a little too far. Because of this, Sack Tap was discussed at length and we got plenty of input from Sack Tappers on the phones.

Hour 2
Zane nearly hit a raccoon on his way to work this morning on his bike. Free Beer thought he was having a heart attack in the office before the show. Today is off to a great start! During CWTTAB, Don called in because he was pissed that the Nashville police department had new Dodge Chargers as patrol cars. We got to the root of the issue and found out that he was really just pissed because he got a seat belt ticket. He then wanted to discuss seat belt laws at length. An email came in that pointed out some of the ridiculous costs associated with funerals. It just seems easier to be cremated. During a conversation about Men's Health's list of the worst drinks in America, Zane had quite a bit of trouble keeping up with the comparisons between drinks. You can see the list of drinks in the Cool Links section.

Hour 3
Check out the Cool Links section for the story about the two year old kid in Indonesia that is smoking two packs of cigarettes a day. He is being referred to as "The Don Drapper of Toddlers". This morning, we each had to read graduation speeches in the voice and character of another member of the show. Zane went first, reading his speech as Hot Wings. After that, we played some audio from the American Idol Season 9 Finale last night, which was Simon's last show.

Hour 4
Hot Wings was up next, reading his commencement speech in the voice and character of Free Beer. The FBHW Report today consisted mostly of talk of the oil spill and BP's response. They're going to try and stuff mud and hemp in to the pipe at some point to stop the spill. George in Nashville was the contestant on Dumber Than Zane Trivia this morning, worth $800.

Hour 5
Free Beer kicked off the hour by reading his commencement speech as Eric Zane. We followed up on a story we talked about yesterday involving Jesse James. His father is claiming to have never abused Jesse, but ABC says that they did their homework and fact checked the story before it aired. Producer Joe and Steve then exchanged blows as they read their commencement speeches about each other. We then made Wiener 1 and Wiener 2 write speeches as each other and read them on the air. We closed the show by talking about a couple of videos that you can see in the Video Reel including the reporter that doesn't like being touched and the Shooter explanation from the Bachelorette.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Wed, 26 May 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Hour 1
Zane's youngest daughter decided to donate her hair to Locks of Love. Yesterday, she went to the salon to get her hair chopped down to her shoulders. Looking for her older sister's approval, she walked up to Jackie and asked how it looked. Jackie sarcastically replied "Yeah, it looks real good...". I wonder where she gets her sarcasm from. An ESPN employee with IBS was caught defecating in a conference room garbage can and was promptly fired. She's suing them for $15,000 grand. We speculated that she just liked dumping in cans and that she would take the bag home, put it on her head, and dance around like the bad guy from Batman.

Hour 2
We talked this morning about a sorority mixer that took place at the Freedom Center (an Underground Railroad museum in Ohio) got out of control. By the end of the night, there was barf and other bodily fluids all over the place. After beating up Greek life for a while, we got a fussy email from a frat guy that didn't like us picking on him and his "brothers". Zane brought up a news story this morning about a new super-potent heroin that is gaining popularity in the suburbs. Based on this, we took a bunch of calls with heroin use stories from listeners.

Hour 3
While giving the commencement speech at Wheaton College, Ann Curry named a bunch of prestigious alumni. The problem was, they were from a different Wheaton College. Based on this, we decided that we would each right our own commencement speeches for tomorrow's show, but we have to write them in the voice of another show member. NBA player Eddy Curry is almost broke, despite a recent $60M contract. We broke down all of the money he owes for stupid things, including a $500K loan at 85% interest! A woman is suing her cable company for sending a phone bill in her maiden name to her house in the same envelope as her husband's account papers. Thinking it was weird that his wife had a secret number and account, he called the one number that was on the invoice and a man picked up. It turned out she was cheating. We then took calls from people about how they got busted in similar ways.

Hour 4
In the FBHW Report this morning, we talked about how the 2014 Super Bowl will be played at the Meadowlands in NJ. We're all hoping for a crazy snowstorm that day. We also discussed how the city of Chicago poisoned the Chicago River in hopes of killing off all of the Asian carp. They succeeded in killing 100,000 pounds of fish, yet not even one Asian carp! In the Cool Links section, you'll see a link to the article we discussed this morning about the woman who gave birth while DRIVING herself to the hospital.

Hour 5
Jesse James has finally spoken out about his infidelities in his marriage to Sandra Bullock. We're all still very amazed that a guy that is supposed to be such a badass talks so wienery. We closed the show with two segments about sex horror stories from Jezebel.com. We tried to take some calls from listeners, but quickly learned that it would be a bad idea.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Tue, 25 May 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Hour 1
We started the show by talking about a kid that took a hot squash in one of his classmates drinks. He's now facing charges and will most likely be in big trouble. Free Beer talked about some excerpts he read from the book Blowing the Whistle by Dick Bavetta, and how crooked the book makes the NBA out to be. We then went over a list of things that people would be unwilling to give up if they were forced to cut costs. Some things on the list will surprise you.

Hour 2
Unbelievably, the Philadelphia Flyers will be playing the Chicago Blackhawks for the Stanley Cup. The finals start this Saturday. Check out the Cool Links section for a link to the article that we talked about this morning with the greatest opening line ever. Basically, a guy dressed up like Captain America molested a chick with a burrito in his pants. We listened to a complaint call from a guy that was pissed that his microwaveable pizza had no toppings. During the call, he realized that he opened the box upside down and there were indeed toppings...on the other side. This reminded us of the classic Jimmy Dean sausage complaint call. Hot Wings busted out his impression of the angry southerner and it was phenomenal. Free Beer played golf with a terrible racist on Saturday while in Nashville. This guy did not like Free Beer because he's a Yankee.

Hour 3
There's been a lot of talk recently about the female version of Viagra that is coming out soon. We discussed this for a while this morning because we were unclear on exactly what the effects would be on a woman. Free Beer told us this morning that he found out that a friend of his has a side job. He makes about $150 extra a month by cleaning fish for people that are too lazy to clean their own fish. This doesn't seem worth it. We played a round of Name That Movie today. We would play a song from the soundtrack of an 80's movie and listeners had to guess the movie.

Hour 4
In 2005, the creator of Lost, J.J. Abrams, said that Lost was not a story about purgatory. This doesn't seem to be the case. Jonas Brother Kevin Jonas and his wife are sleeping in separate rooms after only 5 months of marriage. Based on this, we took calls from people about what makes their marriage different from the norm. We got a call from a guy that married his high school teacher!

Hour 5
Jordan Romero has now become the youngest kid to climb Mt. Everest at age 13. We speculated that he may have peaked early and his life will be all downhill from here. We played the audio from a news story about teen werewolves in San Antonio and gave them a good beat-up. Stop trying to be unique, losers! We closed the show by playing the montage that The Soup made for Tyra's last show. We're sure going to miss making fun of her!

Monday, May 24, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Mon, 24 May 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Monday, May 24, 2010

Hour 1
Zane talked this morning about how he is disgusted with all of the the dead beasts he's been seeing splattered on the road while running and biking. Yesterday, it was an entire possum family. Free Beer told us about growing up on the farm and how he and his buddies used to intentionally hit animals that were in the road because they deserved it. This reminded Zane of the story that Dagwood from 102.9 The Buzz in Nashville told him this weekend about killing a mole that was in his backyard. A teacher was let go after he made a teen preggo section in the school yearbook. That seems like a bad idea.

Hour 2
Intern Lurch was in today and he was ridiculed for his low-talking problem that he has when in the main studio. We tried to rid him of this live on the air. The story was also told about how he managed to unintentionally mow the boss' lawn by mistake. The show was in Nashville this weekend, and the experience was full of plane delays and a lack of information while delayed. Zane basically told the airline crew that they sucked right to their face. Producer Joe doesn't believe that personal electronics, including his cell phone and laptop, do indeed disrupt the airplane's electronics, so he continues to use them during takeoff and landing.

Hour 3
Based on an article we read about attractive people getting hired easier than ugly people, we asked if you were hired based on how you look. Free Beer roomed with Zane this weekend in Nashville and for the second time, he saw a completely nude Zane. Richard Petty was inducted into the NASCAR Hall of Fame. His son called him "Mr. The King Richard Petty". We mocked him for this, but there was some debate as to why he called him this. It turns out that's what they called him in the animated movie Cars.

Hour 4
In the FBHW report this morning, we talked about how it is now being reported that Tiger's wife Elin wants $750M in a divorce settlement and that does not include a gag order. We also played a preview of the Jesse James interview that is coming up on Nightline. He cries! We talked about Celebrity Apprentice this morning and Zane and Joe threw out their theory that Bret Michaels faked all of his medical problems for the attention.

Hour 5
After talking conspiracy theories in the last segment, we got a funny email from a hater of Bishop from WQLZ in Springfield. He thinks Bishop is the worst. Buzz Aldrin was an absolute embarrassment on WWE Raw recently and we played some audio from his appearance. While in Nashville, Joe came face to face with a woman that Zane (Ari Zane Sex Agent) had been trying to set him up with a few years back. Everyone that was there described the interaction as very awkward but very hilarious

Friday, May 21, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Fri, 21 May 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Friday, May 21, 2010

Hour 1
There was a HBO Real Sports update on the armless, legless wrestler Kyle Maynard. He's going to be doing an Ironman triathlon. Talking about this somehow led to Zane wanting the kid to toss his salad. We went over a list of the greatest inventions of all time by some British publication. Amazingly, the iPhone ranked higher than all but seven of the things on the list.

Hour 2
Free Beer bought the new video game Red Dead Redemption. It's similar to Grand Theft Auto, but you're held responsible for the bad things you do. The townspeople will start denying you entry to their businesses if you do enough bad things. Hot Wings once again spent all of yesterday cleaning up after his pooping, barfing kid. Check out the Video Reel for the video we talked about this morning of the newest drinking trend, eyeballing vodka. It just seems like it would be much easier to DRINK vodka. A Hooters waitress in Detroit was told that she had to lose some weight if she wanted to keep working there, even though she had lost weight since she started and was 5'8", 132 lbs.

Hour 3
We put together a bunch of clips of famous people crying and asked listeners to email in and try and identify all nine of the people in the clip. The winner will be qualified for the refurbished laptop that we give away each month. We talked for a while this morning about the Real Sports piece on the benefits of running barefoot. We played a mid-show round of Name That Blank this morning, complete with a giggly contestant and Free Beer reading a clue wrong.

Hour 4
Cyclist Floyd Landis has finally come out and admitted that he did use steroids when he won his tour. Everyone already knew that he was a cheater, so this wasn't much of a surprise. In the FBHW Report this morning, we talked about hwo Kevin Costner had invested about $40M in a machine that separates oil from water, and various other ecological projects. With this massive oil spill in the Gulf, it looks like this investment is finally going to pay off. Check out the Cool Links section for the story that we talked about this morning about the peeping tom plumber that would set up video cameras in bathrooms and tape women in the shower.

Hour 5
We were able to get Dale Peterson on the phone this morning. Dale is the greatest American to ever run for Alabama Agricultural and Industries Commissioner. You can listen to that in the Interviews section of the website. Bret Michaels, just weeks after getting out of the hospital, is now back in the hospital after suffering a warning stroke. We closed the show with Producer Joe's latest stunt that was recorded last weekend in Albany, Bath at an Open House.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Thu, 20 May 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Hour 1
Because the upcoming Flashback was the very first official Joe Stunt, we started talking about some of the craziest Joe Stunts from over the years, including the tractor tire and the Paintball Gauntlet. A recent survey asked people if they would rather work as a telemarketer for a week or go through a series of other horrible scenarios. It turned out that we would all rather get a root canal or go without sex for a month before we considered telemarketing.

Hour 2
Octomom is now being paid by PETA to post signs on her front lawn about spaying and neutering pets, and also speaking out about these topics. Zane has bunnies running wild in his house and back yard. Bunnies seem to be infiltrating the show quite a bit lately. Check out the Video Reel for the video we referenced this morning of a skater kid racking his nuts pretty badly after a botched trick attempt. This led to some good talk about the general stupidity of skaters. In the Cool Links section, you'll see the list of the greatest sports rumors of all time that we talked about this morning. According to this list, LeBron James' mom is sleeping with one of his teammates, and Linda Cohn was whoring it up at an ESPY after-party.

Hour 3
A Wendys employee had a taser busted out on him when he forgot to put mayo packets in some crazy customers food. Based on this, we took calls from people that worked the drive-thru to get their horror stories. The yearbook committee for a high school in Virginia decided to have a section for anonymous confessions. Some of the confessions were crazy personal like "I had an abortion and my boyfriend doesn't know". The show "Doctor Oz" had a show completely dedicated to discussing the penis and the vagina. It's completely OK though, because they're doctors. We went over a list of code words used during sexting that you can see in the Cool Links section.

Hour 4
A Kansas City Chiefs receiver let it out of the bag that a lot of professional athletes have girls that they fly into towns for sex that they refer to as "Imports". We speculated that he will not be very well liked by other players from this point forward. Michelle Obama was grilled by a second grader about Arizona's immigration bill. This led to some talk about LA's possible boycott on Arizona, and Arizona's "were cutting your power off" response. We closed the hour with a round of Dumber Than Zane Trivia worth $400.

Hour 5
A guy in Austin dug tunnels underneath his house that went down three stories. We asked what weird activities you do in your home that your neighbors have no clue about. The responses surprised us, ranging from pot grower to porno makers. We then switched it up a little bit and asked what you know about your neighbors, that they don't know you know. We closed the show talking about Engineer Sean's massive weight loss and then playing a round of Interns vs. A-Team.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Wed, 19 May 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Hour 1
The property from the movie "Field of Dreams" is for sale for $5.4M. We talked about how stupid this is because only nerds would hop in the car to go check out the 20 year old movie relic. Nicholas Cage chooses the types of meat he eats based on how they have sex. That seems a little crazy. This led to some talk on weirdo eaters like super vegans that refer to meat as "flesh".

Hour 2
Free Beer is feeling a little sick today. Poor fella fell asleep at his desk this morning before the show started. While talking about an article that stated that IVF will be the new norm in the next decade, Hot Wings talked about the experiences that him and his wife went through with the procedures, including shots in the butt. We played a round of Paired With an Idiot this morning, with the winner qualifying for a refurbished laptop.

Hour 3
We talked about a woman this morning that is being described as the worst bus driver ever. She would pull over after dropping off all of the kids and take dumps in plastic bags while still on the bus. Then she would just ditch it out the window. Someone video taped her doing it and she was fired. Lurch's buddy bought a $1,500 paintball gun, despite being pretty bad at paintball. Based on this, we took calls from people telling us about their expensive hobbies. We played a round of Free Beer and Hot Wings Family Feud on the show today, this time pitting Joe vs. Steve.

Hour 4
Since we would be talking to Judge Judy later in the hour, we dusted off some old Talk To the Tape segments that featured her. We then talked to her live about her show's success, as well as her announcement that she will most likely retire in 2013. We talked to our friend Mrozek from Q103 in Albany this morning about his crazy story of love at first site. He also wrote a song about it, and we played that as well.

Hour 5
Hot Wings' wife was approached by a busybody stranger that was upset about her feeding their son via bottle opposed to breast feeding. People like this need to just worry about their own lives. We had a bunch of liar stories this morning. We talked about a DE man that managed to lie his way in to Harvard. He was only caught after he tried to transfer and apply for scholarships and the trail of paperwork revealed the truth. We also talked about the guy who flew a commercial airliner for 13 years despite never having a license and forging all his documents. We also talked about two lying congressmen: One from Indiana who was big on abstinence and church, but was busted after having an affair. Also, Richard Blumenthal claimed to have served in Vietnam, but never did.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Tue, 18 May 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Hour 1
Free Beer checked out a video online of Red Dead Dawn, a new video game he's going to buy today. The kids playing the game in the video tied up a nun, took her to the train tracks and watched a train run her over. Zane seems to have many more twisted ideas about things he hopes you might be able to do in the game. We talked about a guy who had possibly the worst suicide attempt ever. This guy filled his car with propane tanks and shotgun shells, drove out to the desert and drove off a 150 foot cliff. He assumed that if the crash didn't kill him, the explosion would. He was wrong and then had to walk eight miles to the nearest town.

Hour 2
Zane has started a crazy new workout routine that consists of him riding his bike and running for nearly two hours BEFORE the radio show starts! Everyone seems to think that this is pretty crazy. Check out the Video Reel for the video that we played this morning of actor Chris Klein auditioning for Mamma Mia. Apparently, no one told him that you had to be able to sing to be in the show. Producer Joe was convinced that he was high while auditioning. Also in the Video Reel is the video of the eight year old girls that danced to Beyonce's song Single Ladies. Everyone is pretty upset about this because the dancing and the attire are both very suggestive.

Hour 3
We came back from the commercial break and started talking about loud pipes on Harleys. Zane is not a fan of them and we took a bunch of calls from loud pipe enthusiasts. A NJ college student proposed to her boyfriend in front of their entire graduating class. We talked about gender role reversal and how uncomfortable this would make us. Based on a listener interaction that Free Beer had in Albany last weekend, we had listeners call and tell us something that they've always wanted to say that has been bugging them for a while. Apparently, a lot of people hate a lot of things about us!

Hour 4
We talked to actor Jeff Goldblum this morning about his roll on Law and Order Criminal Intent, but the interview was quickly derailed. You can listen to that on the Audio page. Based on this blunder, we decided to relive a bunch of the classic Zane interview moments in the next break.

Hour 5
Zanes recently received a new phone in the mail but has not activated it yet. His whole family wants his new phone, but he said he would rather let it sit on a shelf than give it away to them. We got some calls from listeners with similar stories. In the Headlines segment, we talked about how people seem to be making way too big of a deal about the pictures of a 21 year old Miss USA participating in a pole dancing competition from a few years ago. Who cares? We also discussed how Tiger Woods mistress Rachel Uchitel will supposedly be posing for Playboy. In the Video Reel, you can see the video that the city of Sioux City produced to show how great it is there. Based on this, we took calls from people that are embarrassed about the crappy thing that their town is known for.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Mon, 17 May 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Monday, May 17, 2010

Hour 1
The TV show Lost is ending next week. George Lucas wrote a letter to the producers of the show to tell them that he also had no idea where his story (Star Wars) was going when he started writing it. We talked this morning about a guy that is being described as the luckiest man in the world: Croatian Frano Selak. He cheated death about a billion times throughout his life and then won the lottery!

Hour 2
Free Beer, Zane and Producer Joe were in Albany this weekend for a station visit and Gameshow. They had a ton of problems just trying to get there on Friday including reservations not being held, and having to run through airports. They met a bunch of characters at the Gameshow including a huge guy named Zeke who kept breaking chairs and a little hobbit-sized guy with the wettest hands ever.

Hour 3
While in Albany, Free Beer got a lecture from a caterer when he asked for a hot dog. He was told sternly that hot dogs are for children. Zane also had a run in with this guy over napkins, and the lack thereof. No one likes that guy. We played some audio from 60 Minutes last night about the chief electrical technicians escape from the burning oil rig. His story is absolutely insane. It's a wonder he's alive.

Hour 4
Check out the Cool Links section for the audio that we played about a million times this morning of the news anchors and their uncomfortable, yet hilarious happy chat. More details are coming out about Lawrence Taylor's defense. It's now being said that he just pleasured himself in front of the 16 year old prostitute. We played some audio from the Miss USA competition, specifically the question about the Arizona immigration bill. This led to talk on illegal immigrants and Jessica Colotl, the illegal immigrant college student that lived here for 20 years, was a model student and now faces the possibility of being deported. Russell Crowe got pissy at a BBC reporter after his accent in Robin Hood was questioned.

Hour 5
Ronnie James Dio is dead after battling stomach cancer. Everyone is pretty bummed about that because he kicked ass. We were almost killed in several accidents in Albany this weekend while being carted around by members of the Q103 staff. In another driving in Albany incident, afternoon guy Mrozek bared his soul to us by playing a love song he wrote for a girl. Check out the Video Reel for the video of a bunch of local Cleveland "celebrities" singing a We Are the World type song with their wishes for LeBron James to stick around. Also in the Video Reel is a campaign ad that could not possibly be more American from the candidate for the Alabama Agricultural Commissioner. We closed the show with a game of Interns vs. A-Team, with Steve standing in for Lurch since he had to leave early.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Fri, 14 May 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Friday, May 14, 2010

Hour 1
At the beginning of the show, Zane busted Hot Wings for eating peanut butter too loud. Talking about this then led to slobs that eat with their mouths open, and eventually led to Producer Joe's super-fast eating and Zane eating until he barfs. Check out the Cool Links section for the article we talked about this morning that lists some of the strangest vending machines in the world, including one that dispenses gold bars!

Hour 2
Zane told us this morning that he is way in to the show on the History Channel, "America - The Story of Us". He has gained a ridiculous appetite for anything history related. While talking about American Idol, Zane said that his wish was for Ted Nugent to be Simon's replacement as a judge. He then graced us with an awesome Nuge impression and told us the story of when he interviewed him and the Nuge kicked off the interview with racial slurs. A father branded his kids with some stupid family crest after they saw him do it to himself, and they asked to have it done. His soon to be ex-wife tried pressing charges, but he was found to be free and clear. We talked to ABC News anchor and host of "What Would You Do?", John Quinones about the latest episode of the show.

Hour 3
In the Cool Links section, you'll see an article that we talked about this morning that listed the strangest hangover cures that people have actually tried. Grayson Michael Chance, the kid that covered Lady Gaga's "Paparazzi" at his school talent show, is quickly becoming a YouTube sensation. Based on this, we took calls from people that went from being a loser to being popular when in high school. We got some great calls about this! We decided that we wanted to try and determine the greatest earworm of all time, so we each picked a few to play on the show this morning. This covered a bunch of segments!

Hour 4
Our earworm list had many duplicates, and we even took call and email suggestions from listeners. Later in the hour, we had another Women's Forum so we could try and get the inside scoop on the opposite sex, since most men are pretty clueless.

Hour 5
While talking about Dwight Howard and his basketball skills, Andy 2 Times referred to him as being "sick". Zane, being the hip dude he is, asked what was wrong with him. Nice job, old guy. We talked to actor, comedian and author Jay Mohr this morning about his new book "No Wonder My Parents Drank: Tales from a Stand-up Dad". Wings now has a new theme song to go with his new nickname: Tree King. The song is called "C is for Conifer". He loves it. We closed the show with another round of Name That Blank. Have a good weekend. Talk to you Monday!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Thu, 13 May 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Hour 1
We started off the show with some talk on the Broad Street Bullies documentary that we talked to Dave Schultz about a few weeks ago. Some of us have seen parts of it and it looks pretty awesome. There's a bunch of controversy over a new reality TV show coming out that will auction off a virgin. We don't see the big deal, because it's going to happen anyway at some point.

Hour 2
Wiener 1 and 2 are both pretty excited about the upcoming edition of Interns vs. A-Team that will be played later in the show. Wiener 2 then went on to tell us about his softball outbursts. He is a complete gym warrior. We tried to convince him to move in with Wiener 1, since he is looking for a roommate and they seem to love to hate each other. In the Video Reel, you'll see the story that we talked about this morning of the high school basketball star that turned out to be a 22 year old man.

Hour 3
Based on the video of the teacher beating up the student that has been in the news recently, we talked to a guy named Gilbert Leal from the website BringBackLicks.com. His website takes the stand that corporal punishment should be brought back in schools. A recent study shows that 20% of parents regret the names they gave their kids. We took calls from people that either had stupid names, or that regretted the names that they gave their kids. We then decided to play back some of the classic PA Prank names from the past, which can all be found on the Audio>PA Pranks page if you're a VIP member!

Hour 4
In the Cool Links section, you'll see a link to the site CrabRevenge.com which lets you get revenge on someone by purchasing and then giving them crabs. This seemed like a pretty a-holish thing to do. In the Headlines portion of the show, we talked about the video of Miley Cyrus grinding a 44 year old man, and the approach that Lawrence Taylor plans to use in his alleged rape defense. We closed the hour with Dumber Than Zane Trivia with Thomas in NC as the contestant. Know-it-all-tree-expert Hot Wings even made a special guest appearance during the game!

Hour 5
In the segment following Dumber Than Zane Trivia, Hot Wings was once again beaten up for being a know-it-all, and once again being wrong. Zane then read, in the Andy Rooney/Hot Wings voice, a daily recap email that a listener wrote as Hot Wings. The guy that had claimed that he killed Jean Bennett Ramsey, John Mark Karr, is still creeping people out years later. He is now a woman and appears to be insane. We closed the show with a round of Interns vs. A-Team, with Wiener 1 and Wiener 2 pairing up once again.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Wed, 12 May 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Hour 1
We started the show talking about some of the troubled/drugged-up people that we have worked with in the radio business. Free Beer told us that he had a radio dream last night. His new radio partner was Ashley Judd, and Simon Cowell was their producer. Zane busted out a Judd shoplifting reference which would have went over well, except that it was Winona Ryder that was busted for shoplifting. There's a new book coming out called "Pornland". We read some unreal porn stats that can be found in the book including the insane fact that, not only do black women make less than white women, but there is also a cap on how much they can make.

Hour 2
We got an email from some guy that was very broken up after we played the top 5 country songs yesterday. His girlfriend left him and his dad called him an F'n sissy. We talked for a bit about the NBA playoffs, specifically the Celtics/Cavs series. Dana, the cut southern talker, gave everyone boners when she called in to be a contestant on Paired With an Idiot this morning.

Hour 3
Steve told us this morning that he nearly burned his entire apartment complex to the ground after he left his stove on for ten hours the other day. Everyone has been there and it's an awful feeling. There's controversy surrounding the Miss America pageant. People are up in arms over sexy photos that the girls took in lingerie. Check out the Video Reel for the video of the good samaritan that smashed a beer bottle over a robbers' head while he was robbing a convenience store. This seemed a bit short-sited, as he was shot four times as the robber was leaving. Based on a video we watched of a couple making fools of themselves after spotting a couple of 'celebrities' from the show British show Top Gear, we asked listeners to call in with their foolish celebrity encounters.

Hour 4
We talked about the NBC News story that Free Beer watched yesterday about a kit you can buy to find out what types of diseases and conditions you may be predisposed to. Would you want to know if you were going to get a disease later in life? During the Headlines segment, we talked about how Erin Andrews has said that she never received an apology call from Elizabeth Hasselbeck (like she had said she did last week). In the Video Reel, you'll see another story we talked about this morning with "Swamp Master" Jeff Quattrocchi, who nearly had his arm ripped off by an alligator. We were supposed to have him on, but he stood us up at the last minute.

Hour 5
During the break, Producer Joe was able to get in touch with the swamp master, so we decided to wake up our friend Dude Shadoway and do a live Dude interview with him. A Houston-area teacher that beat the crap out of one of her students recently and it was all caught on camera by another student. The teacher has been fired, but we speculated that it was probably the problem child's fault anyway since he went to an alternative school. During the next segment, we took calls from "alterna-kids" and of course, Station Mayor Heinz.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Tue, 11 May 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Hour 1
We started the show by talking about the death of Frank Frazetta, who is someone that only Producer Joe has heard of. Apparently, he was some kind of artist that painted unicorns and barbarian porno in Heavy Metal Magazine. Joe said that was his porn as a child. His art was basically the kind of stuff that you would see painted on the side of a van, like the Trans Vans. A woman tried robbing a bank with a note, but after the teller had trouble reading the note, the robber turned to leave only to see a police officer in line behind her. She decided the best thing to do at that point was swallow the note, but couldn't quite get it down and choked on it. A couple of twins tried doing a switch-a-roo in court but were busted. Zane knew a pair of twins in high school that would do the same thing, but it failed often because one of them "talked gayer than the other".

Hour 2
Zane's 13 year old daughter saw Iron Man 2 recently and now has a crush on Robert Downey Jr. She was unphased, even when it was pointed out to her that Downey is older than Zane. Ken Griffey Jr. fell asleep in the clubhouse during a Mariners game. While talking about strange places to fall asleep, Hot Wings' fondness for falling asleep on the crapper was discussed. We talked about ESPN' salary calculator in which you enter your salary and it tells you how long it would take an athlete to earn that amount. This made all of us sick and we talked a good amount about the wasteful spending among athletes.

Hour 3
We had even more audio from Lawrence Taylor's wife. She is so ridiculously in denial it's not even funny. We played a list of the top five saddest country songs ever. This led to a ton of mocking of these ridiculous songs.

Hour 4
Based on the last segments about sad country songs, we played some classic Red Sovine songs. This turned in to one of the most ridiculous "Red Sovine is a pedophile" beat-up sessions ever. The Joaquin Phoenix documentary that was filmed over the last year has been getting awful reviews. Apparently, he didn't bathe for a long time, rapped poorly and let people crap on him. Sounds awesome. While talking about Justin Bieber, Old Man Hot Wings reared his ugly head once again. He doesn't like Bieber's hip hoppy new age music or his hippie haircut.

Hour 5
We played Andy Rooney's latest commentary about hating new music, and it may as well have been Hot Wings saying it. Zane busted out his Andy Rooney voice but instead read Hot Wings' daily emails. It was gold. We went over Cracked.com's list of gender stereotypes that science actually backs up. We closed the show talking about whether or not it is OK to text or be preoccupied in other ways during sex.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Mon, 10 May 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Monday, May 10, 2010

Hour 1
Zane started off the morning by busting out his dog puking impression after Hot Wings talked about his dog ate Desitin and puked it up. Hot Wings found out this morning that he offended Free Beer's mother-in-law when, on the Dan Patrick Show, he said that he hoped Justin Bieber would be set on fire or injured.

Hour 2
Zane found out this morning that the station he was used to work for played a bunch of his old Ernie Harwell impressions as a tribute, since Harwell died last week. Unfortunately, they played a bit he used to do called "Dirty Ernie". It consisted of Zane doing the voice of Harwell and saying inappropriate things. To us, this seemed like an awful idea for a "tribute". Free Beer and Steve went to see Iron Man 2 on Saturday, and they were both shocked that people actually stood up and cheered during parts of the movie. Producer Joe went to a weekend-long bachelor party that sounded like the most miserable weekend. He woke up one morning with a nearly nude man in his bed and there were bodily fluids all over the bathroom.

Hour 3
We talked to a guy named Wade McGilberry this morning. He won $1M by pitching a perfect game in 2K Sports baseball video game. He managed to be one of the most boring guys ever to be on the show. If you want to take part in the boredom, you can listen here. The interview lasted about two minutes. Oakland A's pitcher Dallas Braden pitched a real perfect game over the weekend. Too bad there were only about 12,000 people at the game. We played the video of the wienery yo-yo champ that was interviewed on the local news show in WI. Half way through, we found out that it was just some dude that was making the rounds messing with TV stations just to get on the air. You can see the video of him in the Video Reel.

Hour 4
Free Beer was caught by a store employee when he inadvertently stole some cheese while going through the self checkout at the grocery store the other day. He was then stared down for the remainder of his order. During the Headlines segment, we focused on the updates in the Lawrence Taylor rape allegations. His wife seems to be in denial and is siding with him. Stephanie and Lurch were up again for another round of Interns vs. A-Team. We're still convinced that they're boning.

Hour 5
A trader was doing a webinar last week when the stock market dropped a billion points. He absolutely freaked out and we played the audio. The announcer for the Cleveland Indians lost his mind during his postgame wrap-up. You can see both of those videos in the Video Reel. We closed the show talking to John Lydon, aka Johnny Rotten. He didn't let us talk to much, so it was basically 10 minutes of him talking AT us. Needless to say, it was still a really fun interview and you can listen to it here.

Friday, May 07, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Fri, 07 May 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Friday, May 7, 2010

Hour 1
The show started off with the intro featuring David Cross talking about how much he hates morning radio shows, and how he can always count on them being coked up morons with a names like Gator and the Lunatic. Free Beer then looked at Hot Wings and referred to him as Gator. Hot Wings, showing his awesome improve skills, came back with nothing. An airline employee was made fun of for one year by coworkers for having a small penis. They discovered this when he went through a full body scan x-ray machine. He beat up one of the guys who was making fun of him and now he's locked up.

Hour 2
We got a hate email from Oregon from someone that is pissed because of the lack of rock music featured on our show. We determined that he needed rock to recharge his "rock batteries" and our show just wasn't providing him this service. We decided to oblige him by rocking out to Twisted Sister for a while. The stock market tanked yesterday and none of us understood why or now. We asked people that understood the stock market to explain what the hell went wrong. We got a call from a guy who ended up knowing absolutely nothing, but claimed he did. Because of this, we had a big time Andy 2 Times beat-up session for getting someone on the phone who knew nothing more than we did. We then talked to show conspiracy theorist Bishop to talk about the Federal Reserve being a privately owned entity, something one of our stock market non-experts brought up.

Hour 3
Lawrence Taylor has beeen accused of raping a 16 year old girl. One reporter from the SportsCenter piece we played sounded exactly like the voice we do to mock stupid chicks, so that was a fun twist. Some idiot called in to say that LT will play the race card, despite knowing no details about the victims' race. Dan Akroyd was on Larry King talking about aliens, but everyone, including us at first, was confused about what kind of aliens he was talking about. We had another round of "I wish I didn't know ______ about my Mom" to give away ProFlowers gift cards for Mother's Day. Andy 2 Times was beaten up once again because he picked one of the entries that was clearly fake!

Hour 4
Kenney Chesney called Anderson Cooper to ask where the hell the media is, referring to the floods in Nashville. Since the government seems to be absent as well, the great people of Nashville are stepping up and helping one another out. Because What Hot Wings Thinks was about the newly-passed Cash for Caulkers program, we played the Daily Show Cash for Caulkers clip that features what they refer to as the most immature montage ever. You can see that in the Video Reel. Since Mother's Day is this weekend, we got Zane's mom on the phone and exploited the fact that she has great difficulty telling everyone's voices apart.

Hour 5
A man has been set free from prison after spending the last 30 years on the inside. DNA evidence has proven that he was not guilty of raping a girl, which he was charged with in 1982. We gave the ProFlowers giveaway a second shot today and Andy 2 Times managed to redeem himself this time around. We closed the show with Name That Blank. Have a good weekend!

Thursday, May 06, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Thu, 06 May 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Hour 1
We started the show by talking about a list of tips for living out of your car. This seems like it would be awful. There was a story about a kid that took his great grandma to the prom because she never went to hers and it was on her bucket list. We talked about things that are on our bucket lists. Zane's list is just a series of sex positions and role playing scenarios he wants to try with his wife, including doing his wife while she wears her EMT uniform. It was suggested that her EMT friend Kip (who has been struck by lightning 24 times) could drive an ambulance while Zane and the Mrs. do it in the back.

Hour 2
Tyra pulled a hilarious (read: NOT hilarious) prank on her audience by acting like she had rabies. You can see that video in the Video Reel. Producer Joe talk about the Cinco de Mayo party he attended yesterday that included a feat of strength involving a cereal box. He both pulled a muscle and tore his shorts, exposing his hairy ass and balls to the crowd. We were all very intrigued by this game, so we each gave it a shot during the next break. You can see the video by clicking here!

Hour 3
Dwayne Wade is going through a divorce and his ex is alleging that him and his current girlfriend nearly have sex in front of the kids. His one kid is so stressed out that he is supposedly losing his hair. Hot Wings' day yesterday was chock full of poo cleaning activities after his son tub-girled all over the place!

Hour 4
Listener Mary wrote in this morning because she was not pleased with Dude Shadoway's interview with Joslyn James from yesterday. She accused us of discriminating against all women because we played a "whore" drop about a woman who gets paid to have sex (i.e. a whore). We had another round of our Proflowers Mother's Day contest where we read more emails from people telling us things that they wish they didn't know about their mother. Elisabeth Hasselbeck apologized to Erin Andrews after her comments about her wardrobe on Dancing With the Stars. Mark in NJ was the contestant on Dumber Than Zane Trivia this morning, worth $400.

Hour 5
We played a news story from West Palm Beach about a "crazy bird" that is attacking people as they walk down the street. These people are absolute morons. You can see that story in the Cool Links section. The girl that cut Free Beer's hair yesterday was clearly trying to get fired from her job. She spent the 20 minutes that it took to cut his hair doing nothing but bad-mouthing her boss. We found out this morning that, unfortunately, the story of piranhas taking over the Opry Land Hotel in Nashville are false. While this is technically a good thing, Zane was really hoping that it would be true.

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Wed, 05 May 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Hour 1
We talked this morning about a woman named Sheila Radziewicz who has TAR syndrome, which means that she has no arms or knee caps, but she has managed to earn her black belt in karate. That seemed impossible. We went over a list of activities for 100 year old people and were shocked to find out that many of them have iPods, send text messages and do other things that we thought they would assume is witchcraft.

Hour 2
Free Beer was at the polls yesterday voting for some town election when he was asked by his wife who she should be voting for. One of the corpses that was volunteering there overheard this and said "That's not why my mother fought for the right to vote!" in a snarky tone. A listener called in this morning to tell us the urban legend that his friends' retarded cousin caught a dwarf census taker. This is the fourth time we've gotten this call, so he was absolutely killed for it! We talked about the kid that was tasered at the Phillies game recently for running on the field and debated whether or not the punishment fit the crime. We all agreed that it did. Free Beer told us about the time the entire section he was sitting in at a baseball game convinced a drunk grandma to run out on to the field, then watched her get plowed down by security when she did it.

Hour 3
Zane pulled some audio from one of the Mosley/Mayweather undercard fights. We struggled to understand what the hell one of the trainers was saying to his fighter because he "speaks Detroit". Justin Bieber is stupid and doesn't know what German is. You can see the video of his stupidity in the Video Reel. Jay Leno not only bombed at the White House Correspondence Dinner, but he also took all his jokes from old Tonight Show/Jay Leno Show monologues...word for word! More information has come out about the Times Square bombing suspect and his plans. The idiot left his keys and cell phone in the car, so it was relatively easy to track him down.

Hour 4
We started the hour picking our winner for today's ProFlowers Mother's Day contest. One of the emails was from a guy who found out that his stepmom posed for Playboy and another email talked about her mother's lack of bowel control. In the Headlines segment, we talked about BP's oil spill solution and Elisabeth Hasselbeck's comments on Erin Andrews' wardrobe on Dancing With the Stars. We played some audio of the 8 worst local TV commercials, which you can see posted in the Cool Links section.

Hour 5
We read a post from a Nashville Predators hockey blog titled "We Are Nashville" and took a bunch of calls from Nashville residents about the lack of coverage that the flood has been getting. Our old friend Dude Shadoway was back in the studio today to interview Tiger Woods mistress, Joslyn James. You can hear that interview by clicking here! We closed the show talking about more awful local TV commercials and putting out the offer that we would be more than willing to appear in one of them.

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Tue, 04 May 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Hour 1
A sniper just broke the world record for longest distance kill. He killed an enemy combatant from 1.5 miles away! We discussed the story this morning about a granddaughter that was slapped by her grandmother, hit back, and then called the cops. She chose not to press charges, but may have no choice in the matter because it was a domestic violence charge. We made a case for there being no charges whatsoever when family members fight, because that's what families do. This led to talk about Zane's brother Push-up Paul and his drunken/awkward behavior at a station event the show did a few weeks ago. We tried to go over a list of five stupid sex products you don't need and only got through two of them. Most of the time was spent on number 1, the quick-strip condom. This is a condom with tabs that allows you to easily slip the condom on before boner deflation. This reminded Zane of the time that his brother called him on his wedding night to ask him how to put a condom on.

Hour 2
During the CWTTAB segment, Chris called in to tell us his tough story based on a topic we brought up yesterday. His buddy knocked his tooth through his lip, but he still chased him down and won the fight. Over 2,000 wire taps were issued last year at the cost of about $52,000 a piece. We got a call from a Jimbo that works in military intelligence and he told us that cell phone signals are routinely combed for key words and phrases. In the Cool Links section you'll see the list we talked about this morning of the best conspiracy theories in sports history.

Hour 3
We read over some of the emails that have come in for the ProFlowers Mother's Day Contest. The first one ended with a huge surprise when the details of a very untimely death were revealed. It caught everyone off guard, especially Free Beer. Free Beer's wife saw someone stealing the flowers from the landscaping of a Taco Bell recently. Based on this, we asked listeners to call in with stories about the cheapest things they've ever seen or done.

Hour 4
In the Video Reel, you'll see a video we talked about this morning where a tornado forms directly on the road in front of a car. When going to commercials, Free Beer accidentally hit the wrong button and screwed up the commercials for all of the affiliates down the line. Show conspiracy theorist Greg Bishop at WQLZ in Springfield sent over the audio of what it sounded like when he had to stammer his way along because of the screw up. This reminded us of the time that something similar happened to Free Beer and we were lucky enough to capture that audio as well. During the Headlines segment, we talked about the arrest in the Times Square bombing, the guy that said he was Michael Jackson's gay lover and Tiger's golf clubs for sale on eBay.

Hour 5
We played the game "Drunk or a Kid" today, where listeners had to call in and tell us a story of something that happened to them. We then had to pick whether this happened because they were drunk or a kid. We closed the show by asking listeners if they ever had to hide as an adult. We got some strong liar and wienery calls to kick it off, followed by some fast talking girl...not exactly a success.

Monday, May 03, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Mon, 03 May 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Monday, May 3, 2010

Hour 1
We talked about Steven Hawking again this morning. This time, he explained time travel. Zane found a way to dispute everything he said, even things that are proven fact. He then said that he believed that Hawking is getting "ALS of the brain". A guy siphoned energy by running a wire from his house connecting a meat hook to the end of it and tossing it on to a power line. None of us would have ever thought that was possible. A woman collecting workers' comp for a back injury was caught working another job...as a stripper at place called C.R. Fannies. We found a picture of her and discovered that she's old, gross and sports a giant pink turtle neck. Turtle necks and fanny packs were then mocked at length.

Hour 2
We talked this morning about how much fun we had filling in for Dan Patrick on Friday. We also talked at length about the big news stories of the weekend including the Nashville floods, the bomb they found in Times Square and the businesses that are struggling because they can't contain the oil slick in the Gulf Coast. We replayed the call we got on Friday from Rich, the douche that called in to tell the world that he makes more than Zane, and sleeps with more chicks even though he's fat. This call got a lot of comments throughout the weekend from listeners. Zane also had an interaction that confirmed to him that his comments about fat people, though rude, actually help people get into shape.

Hour 3
While talking about the Mosley/Mayweather fight from Saturday, it was noted that Chris Brown did a poor job of singing the National Anthem. A catcher for the Colorado Rockies passed a kidney stone during the 8th inning of a game and then came right back out and played the rest of the game. Based on this, we asked listeners "What is the toughest thing you've ever done?". We talked about the man in India that claims to have not eaten or had a drink in 70 years. Doctors have been watching him for 5 days and he has yet to eat, drink, pass turds or take a leak. We played some audio of the White House Correspondence dinners. President Obama was pretty funny. Jay Leno was not.

Hour 4
Because Hot Wings' first time on the air was mentioned earlier in the show, we busted out the classic clip we have of him doing a college radio show. It's just as funny this time around. We talked about the story of a woman who still breast feeds her child at the age of 5 and offers her old milk to her friend's child as well. That's creepy. A dead guy was embalmed and mounted on his motorcycle for his wake. You can see that story in the Cool Links section of the website. During the headlines segment, we talked mostly about the crazy Nashville floods over the weekend. Listeners have been sending in pictures all morning and you can see them here. We closed the hour playing some audio from Conan O'Brien on 60 Minutes last night.

Hour 5
We were all a bit surprised by the lack of national news coverage that the Nashville floods are receiving. Free Beer told us about a story he read over the weekend where a grandmother met her grandson for the first time and they connected instantly...and sexually. It's now being reported that they're having a baby together. We closed the show with another round of Interns vs. A-Team with Lurch and Stephanie back in the hot seat.

Friday, April 30, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Friday, April 30, 2010

Hour 1
Jim Carrey announced recently through Twitter that he is not going crazy, but did so in the craziest way possible. He still isn't funny. A guy that passed out at a party had an eel shoved up his butt, which then bit into his intestine and killed him! Eel in the butt talk then led us to the story of how both Hot Wings and Producer Joe were finger raped by their doctor.

Hour 2
We'll be filling in for Dan Patrick later today and we're all pretty nervous. Hopefully everything works out. Hot Wings listened to Petros and Money yesterday to get familiar with sports talk and decided to bust out his best Petros impression. After listening to real Petros, we determined it was pretty good! A NYC news anchor suggested that a new name for soy milk should be "jizm". We talked this morning about how no man can go to eat at Hooters by himself and not be a creeper. This pissed off quite a few people! We interviewed a woman named Lisa Murphy who is promoting porn for the blind. You can listen to that interview here.

Hour 3
We also talked to the estranged son of the Phelps family, Nate Phelps. The Phelps family are the ones that run the Westboro Baptist Church. Listen to that here! Free Beer went shopping yesterday and inadvertently left the store without having the security tag removed from the belt he bought. He then tried to remove it on his own and the results were disastrous. We discussed People Magazine's 2010 list of the most beautiful people. We all agreed that the girl from Precious should not be on the list and that she's a disgusting pig.

Hour 4
We got a slew of emails about Zane's opinion of fat people which we discussed and broke down. We also got a positive email from a woman who thanked Zane for shaming her into getting healthy for the sake of her loved ones. Rich called in as a self-appointed ambassador of fat people and started his call with a braggadocios list of reasons he is better than Zane like making more money, and sleeping with more chicks. We then had a very random break involving that massive oil spill, penguins on fire, and Alaska. Tensions were so high towards the end of this break that we were sure someone was going to get punched in the face. At this point, we switched over to best-of because we're guest hosting for Dan Patrick today. We closed the hour with the segment "Ari Zane, Sex Agent".

Hour 5 (Best-of)
The best-of content this hour included stories about being injured on the toilet, Producer Joe sitting on Santa's lap and playing audio tapes backwards.

Hour 1 of The Dan Patrick Show
We started otu the show talking about what we were looking forward to coming up later in the show. We also went around and did some introductions since there are about one billion new people listening, since Dan Patrick has 10 times the affiliates we do. We talked about the crazy mascot dunk from earlier in the week and made fun of Zane for being perhaps the only person that viewed the video that did not see that he actually dunked it. he thought he just flopped backwards off of a tall ladder. We then went over a list of the ugliest players in the NBA and had a ton of fun with it!

Hour 2 of The Dan Patrick Show
We read over a list of the most hated teams in Major League Baseball. Some of the teams towards the top of the list may surprise you! We then talked to Ken Rosenthal from MLB on Fox about some of the surprises so far this season. Showtime boxing announcer Nick Charles joined us next to preview the Mosley/Mayweather fight tomorrow. Since the subject of Floyd Mayweather was a hot topic today, Free Beer and Hot Wings took the opportunity to tell the ridiculous story of the time they met Floyd Mayweather's grandmother.

Hour 3 of The Dan Patrick Show
Broad Street Bully Dave "The Hammer" Schultz joined us at the beginning of the third hour to promote the HBO special about the Philadelphia Flyers from the 70's. We couldn't let him come on the show without taking the opportunity to play his awesome song "Penalty Box"! Based on that song, we played some of the worst songs by athletes that have ever been recorded. We then talked to SI.com NBA writer Chris Mannix. We also talked a little boxing with him. To close the show, we all told what we learned today and geeked out for a few minutes on how cool it was to fill in for Dan Patrick. Have a great weekend. Talk to you Monday!

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Hour 1
We started off the show talking about tomorrow's fill-in gig that we'll be doing for the Dan Patrick Show. Zane is nervous that he will have to talk Kentucky Derby and unless it has to do with a horse breaking its leg and dying, he's not interested. He also doesn't want to talk baseball at all. Free Beer busted out his Dan Patrick impression, which we are all hoping makes it's way on to the show tomorrow. The Cub Scouts have officially given up because they are now giving out merit badges for playing video games. This led to some fun talk about "Cult Scouts", as they are known on this show.

Hour 2
Hot Wings nearly stepped on a baby bunny in his garage yesterday. He then spent the next 20 minutes hunting it down so he could release it back in to the wild. Look for the video later today on the Videos page. Some crazy girl was giving the invocation at a college graduation when she started to go in to convulsions because the power of the lord was taking over. The graduation went on, even though she was passed out on the floor. We were introduced recently to "haul videos", which are videos that women make and post online after big shopping trips. They just show off all of the garbage that they bought on their recent shopping sprees.

Hour 3
We talked to a woman named Ernestine Shepherd this morning. She's a 73 year old bodybuilder that runs 80 miles a week. We played another round of Interns vs. A-Team this morning which teamed up listeners with Wiener 1 and Wiener 2. We also talked to Dominic Monaghan from the TV shows Lost and Flash Forward about his upcoming projects. You can listen to that interview here.

Hour 4
Producer Joe and Steve are both excited (albeit with very low expectations) about the movie The Human Centipede. We watched the trailer this morning and the films' awesomeness was talked about. The controversial Arizona immigration bill was discussed this morning, including a few calls from bigots that felt it was ok to kill anyone that was in the country illegally. Frank in the Capital Region of New York was the contestant on Dumber Than Zane Trivia this morning, with $1,600 on the line from Cat Footwear.

Hour 5
We picked the Station Mayor for the station we've been on the longest, 105.7 The Hawk on the Jersey Shore. You can still get your applications in for the stations we haven't picked yet by clicking here! We closed the show by going over a list and playing the top ten drinking songs of all time.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Hour 1
A bunch of punks took it upon themselves to beat the hell out of a group of Nazis that showed up at a punk rock show in Philly. We saw absolutely no problem with this at all. Star of Jackie Brown, Pam Grier, alleged that when she was with Richard Pryor, he had so much coke in his system that it left residue in her lady parts. She also claimed that her mouth would go numb when giving him mouth party. Jon Gosselin will be doing an autograph signing at a Catholic university in Maryland. Shockingly, the university is not pleased about this.

Hour 2
There's a new video posted in the Video Reel that you have to watch that shows the greatest mascot stunt of all time. Check it out! We played Paired With an Idiot in the second hour this morning. At the end of the hour, we asked cops to call in so we could discuss the "cushion" for speeding tickets. Most agreed that they would give you up to 10-12 MPH over the speed limit before giving a ticket.

Hour 3
We talked about the two very different paths to the NFL by Scott Sicko and Brandon Crawford. Sicko originally said no to the NFL after not being drafted, but almost immediately changed his mind. Crawford, who was invited by the Giants to rookie training camp is 33 years old and giving it his all. Nadia Bloom, the little autistic girl that was lost in the woods for 4 days did an awkward interview with Good Morning America. You can see that in Cool Links. We went over a list of the top 9 businesses that provide their employees great perks, and also discussed the great perks we have here at the radio station.

Hour 4
Based on the segment about job perks, we took calls from people about the great perks at their job. We also revisited the Hot Wings "got a home run" reference from yesterday and told him that kind of stuff just won't fly on the Dan Patrick show this Friday. During the Headlines, se talked about the Goldman Sachs fraud hearings and a Bret Michaels update. There was a study recently that said that there are bad habits that could take up to 12 years off of your life, including smoking, drinking and not exercising enough. Zane claimed that his addiction list is growing and that his exercise buddies are now mocking him for his inferior bicycle parts.

Hour 5
Noah's Ark may have been found in the mountains in Turkey. We talked about our beliefs as far as the story of the ark goes. Zane is told via text that he is a horrible Christian for doubting the story. In the next break, we got the phantom texter on the phone to explain his beliefs. Listener Heinz, Station Mayor for WGRD in Grand Rapids, failed to send in a picture and bio for our website. Zane and Producer Joe went to work on both. You can see Zane's work here and Joe's here. The GM of the Miami Dolphins asked Dez Bryant if his mom was a prostitute while interviewing him. That seemed pretty offensive.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Hour 1
Zane talked early this morning about the new HBO show "The Pacific" and how horrible war seemed during WW2. A radio show is in trouble for calling Tim Tebow and his family lily white Nazis. The article this is read from compared this to now infamous "nappy-headed ho's" comment from Imus from a few years ago. We argued that the comparison was ridiculous.

Hour 2
Zane got an email that accused him of checking out whenever we talked about football on the show. The emailer also said that we talk way too much about marathons, triathlons, P90X and being the most fit radio show in America. Wiener 1 gave us an update on his missing teeth. He's getting stuff implanted in his face so they can screw in some new teeth. Free Beer revealed this morning that one of his arms is much larger than the other, and now that he's working out, it's only accentuating it. Lawrence Taylor said recently that he doesn't remember anything from his draft day except that he drank 41 Coors Lights!

Hour 3
Check out the Cool Links section for pictures of Larry King's wife touching his saggy ass. Free Beer had the killer line of the segment when he said that she was "holding in a turd". We played a piece of mystery audio this morning that sounded really dirty, but was actually of a woman making a piece of pottery. Check it out in the Video Reel. Some meth-head scumbag hid in a pooh lagoon to get away from the cops. Once found and pulled out, they still had to taze him. We played the audio of the latest Powerball winner, who found out on camera that he was actually the winner. He was strangely calm when finding out that he won. Free Beer's wife's friend told her that she punishes her husband by withholding sex. Zane then revealed that he's into strangulation sex and said that everybody should "say yes to strangulation sex!". A bunch of deviants called to agree with him.

Hour 4
NBC Nightly News did a story on violence in video games and the bill that's currently being looked at by the Supreme Court that could block the sale of all violent video games to minors. The Headlines segment focused mostly on Tito Ortiz being arrested after allegedly beating up girlfriend Jenna Jameson. We closed the hour with a now world-famous Free Beer and Hot Wings Women's Forum!

Hour 5
You have to check out the Video Reel for the video of the bull that bull finally wins one against a matador! The famous bullfighter was gored in the groin and lost a ton of blood. Two women beat up a guy for not holding the door open for them at their apartment. Hot Wings announced that they must be ugly, because he would have held the door for them if they were hot chicks. We got the manager of the convenience store on the phone that sold the $258M ticket to the winner. She agreed that he was strangely calm. Joe Biden somehow worked a Rich Rodriguez reference into his speech at the miner's funeral in West Virginia. Jim Jones apologized for a joke about a Jewish merchant‎ that he told in front of a crowd. This then led the conversation in the direction of politically correct America, stereotypes and a call from some genius that points out that there has been a recent rise in the amount of dumb white people in commercials. Check out all of the new videos and links from today's show. Talk to you Wednesday!

Monday, April 26, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Monday, April 26, 2010

Hour 1
To start off the show today, we broke down Hot Wings' stupid comparisons and how they always start with him saying "that would be like" in a high pitched voice. There are plenty of examples! We also talked about a Readers Digest article about inventions that will be out soon that will change your life.

Hour 2
Zane's brother is having a Mothers Day party, but it holding it on a day that isn't Mothers Day. On top of that stupidity, he also failed to invite his mother to the party. She had no idea about it. We tried a new game today called Ingredients, where we had listeners call in and they had to read the ingredients from whatever item they were currently eating. The twist was, they had to read it in a sexy voice. Each week, the type of voice that the list must be read in will be changed.

Hour 3
Stephen Hawking says that there are definitely aliens and that they will kill you. This is all well and good, but his explanation mirrors the plot to the movie Independence Day. Matt Millen apologized for making a pollack joke to Ron Jaworski during the 2010 NFL draft broadcast. After playing the audio of this, we dug up some other great sports apologies from years past. Based on a story of a limo being repossessed while taking students to a prom, we took calls from listeners about how they ruined the prom, or how their prom was ruined.

Hour 4
During the Headlines segment, we talked about Bret Michaels' brain hemorrhage that has left him in critical condition, as well as the guy that won $250M from the lottery. We talked about a guy that hid the body of his dead friend under his sofa because he wanted to avoid eviction. Based on this, we took calls from people that have had certain things in their house way too long. Some of the calls shocked us.

Hour 5
Every now and then, we have Producer Joe take the top 10 movies from the week and create porn titles from the original title. He revealed this week's list this morning. We played the first ever round Interns vs. A-Team that pits the interns against Free Beer, Hot Wings and Zane. Lurch and Stephanie were up, and Zane was convinced that they're doin' it. We closed the show with a replay of the Jay Thunderbolt interview that we did last week.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Friday, April 23, 2010

Hour 1
The idiots that work at this radio station decided that it would be a great idea to put a mannequin with a radio station tshirt, map and cell phone in the lobby. One by one, this scared the crap out of every one of us as we made our way in this morning. Check out the pictures of the stupid station gimmick by clicking here. While talking about a woman that was in a vegetative state, Hot Wings busted out the knowledge that "vegetative" came from the world "vegetable", or vice versa. Regardless, everyone already knew this obvious nugget of knowledge. He was mocked so badly for this that we didn't even have time to play the Flashback.

Hour 2
Zane came down on his son yesterday about his grades and study habits. He used a very CSI-esque timeline to reconstruct his son's day to prove that he in fact did not get all of his school work done before playing video games. Intern Wiener 2 was under the gun this morning and had to break down the first round of the 2010 NFL draft, which he did quite well actually. We talked to a guy named Jay Thunderbolt that runs a strip club out of his house in Detroit. You can listen to that interview here.

Hour 3
A 22 year old listener named Blake wrote in this morning to ask for our opinion about whether or not he should get a vasectomy. Both he and his significant other don't want kids. We talked about how mindsets change so much in such a short amount of time that it's impossible to tell if he'll want kids a few years. For instance, Zane used to be in to gold fist medallions, Free Beer wanted a Taz tattoo, and Producer Joe's Freedom tattoo. Cracked.com had a list of the most unintentionally perverted kids toys which you can see in the Cool Links section.

Hour 4
During the Headlines segment, we talked about the video that's available in the Video Reel of a dog leading a state trooper to a house fire, as well as Joe Biden's comments from his appearance on The View. We played for the first time a Producer Joe stunt that was recorded a few weeks ago when Joe was out at the self-proclaimed world's largest garage sale attempting to get some deals. Listen to that audio here.

Hour 5
We listened to the audio of some whackjobs that are trying to restore Stephen Baldwin in to the Catholic Church by asking people to donate money to their stupid website. We also listened to the audio of 14 year old Warren Williams' 911 call just after he shot his father and killed him. It's pretty awful and shows how screwed up that kid was. We closed the show with a game of Name That Blank.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Hour 1
The cast of MTV's Jersey Shore is having trouble getting into bars in Palm Beach because no one wants to deal with those idiots. We wondered if anyone actually goes to the bar hoping to see them. The Stone Pony on the Jersey Shore has based their entire business on the hope that Springsteen may show up to any event at any time. In reality the biggest celebrity they've had there is the dump of Big Joe Henry. The Gay Softball World Series is coming up and some dudes were kicked off one of the teams for not being gay enough.

Hour 2
The new $100 bill was unveiled yesterday. It has all sorts of fancy features that will supposedly make it much harder to counterfeit then in the past. Free Beer read the story of a guy this morning that got both his girlfriend and his girlfriend's mom pregnant within a few days of each other. We talked about a list that is in the Cool Links section of the most expensive stuff for 2010 including a $2M television and iPhone.

Hour 3
A white running back probably won't be drafted in the first round of the NFL draft for no other reason than that he's a white guy. Check out the Video Reel for the video of the giant saw blade that flew off the saw and went screaming down a neighborhood street. It came to a stop when it hit the side of a vacant house. After referencing an old clip we played a while back of the foot fetish guy from The Bachelorette, we got an email from a Janebo who just found out that her boyfriend is way into feet. We got a call from man voice Connie about a similar topic and had quite a bit of fun talking to her as if she was a man.

Hour 4
A 59 year old man had his pinky ripped off when a thief ripped the brand new iPad he was carrying out of his hands. While taking calls on this, Intern Wiener 1 got a huge beatdown because he's awful at screening phone calls. The information that he types in to the call screener computer rarely matches what they actually said. Zane declared him the worst intern ever. During the Headlines segment, we talked about Geico's voice guy being fired for leaving a voice mail asking about retarded tea party members, and also about how the creators of South Park are going to be killed by insane Muslims. We closed the hour with Dumber Than Zane Trivia with another man talker, Jamie.

Hour 5
We took an entire segment to dissect the hilarity that was Dumber Than Zane Trivia, including taking more calls from girls with man voices and dudes with chick voices. In the Video Reel, you'll see a video we talked about this morning where Lawrence Frank drops the f and s bomb on ESPN and makes everyone awkward. We talked for a bit about Ben Roethlisberger's 6 game suspension that was handed down to him yesterday. We then took calls from people and read a story about people that are intentionally trying to get fired from their job.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Hour 1
We're just one week away from guest-hosting the Dan Patrick Show. We talked about the difference between a show like his, which is great, and the local sports shows that really suck. Dan Patrick makes it interesting for everyone and the locals make it interesting for no one. Zane realized that he should probably not have his sound effect machine that day to avoid playing some of the more vulgar drops he has. A new flying car is being developed that will be able to be piloted by any soldier. We joked about how the tanks that are just sitting around waiting to be used should be used for tank monster truck shows. We checked out the website DontEvenReply.com for the first time this morning. Some a-hole responds to craigslist ads in a very a-holish way.

Hour 2
Zane talked this morning about how awful and boring his daughter's softball practice was last night and also about how this is the first time in history that kids are fatter than their parents. Producer Joe came across an old video with some porn actress hag for a cable descrambler for an old porn TV channel. We tried to call to order one, but surprisingly, the number was no longer active.

Hour 3
Some British woman had a migraine and now speaks with a Chinese accent. She has a rare disorder called Foreign Accent Syndrome. Producer Joe then demonstrated his incredible range of foreign accents by giving many examples. In the Cool Links section, you'll see a list we talked about this morning of the 9 people that would never get laid if they weren't famous. Based on an article we read about Miley Cyrus' new house, we took calls from people who admittedly were spoiled.

Hour 4
Check out the Video Reel for the video of the fussy hockey player that didn't like the question that a reporter asked him. He got a penalty and did not appreciate it being noted by the reporter. Balloon Boy is back in the news, as it has been ruled that his parents now have to pay back $36,000 to reimburse the county for the expenses incurred during their big hoax last summer. We talked about a story from Good Morning America about "Unschooling" where parents do not send their kids to school. We even talked to the parents that were featured in the story, Christine and Phil, about their unusual parenting techniques.

Hour 5
No one knows how to pronounce the name of the volcano that is still erupting in Iceland. We played a montage of attempts this morning. Octomom was on Oprah yesterday and actually came off as being somewhat normal, even though her life is chaos. We watched the video (also posted in the Video Reel) of an awful leg break during a hockey fight. This then led in to discussion and viewing of other leg breaking videos. We closed the show talking about an article that details the numerous mistakes made during the Ben Roethlisberger rape investigation.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Hour 1
We started the show by posting a new hate email, this time from a listener of our newest affiliate, 96.9 The Rogue in Oregon. We talked about the 13 year old kid that is going to attempt to climb Mt. Everest and set a record for being the youngest person to successfully climb the seven highest points in the world.

Hour 2
Since it's 4/20, we took calls from potheads who think marijuana should be legalized, as well as calls from people who believe it should remain illegal. Zane watched a special recently called The McVeigh Tapes that dug inside the brain of Oklahoma City bomber Timothy McVeigh. Show Conspiracy Theorist Greg Bishop called in to weigh in on the situation.

Hour 3
A relative of Free Beer's is unemployed and living with another relative. They have decided that now is the perfect time to take a luxury vacation, despite being unemployed and not being able to afford their own place. We got a call from a guy that did something very similar and his father no longer speaks to him because of it. A new Apple iPhone was left behind at a bar and the website Gizmodo got a hold of it to take pictures and dissect it. Steve is overly excited about this and plans to buy one the minute it comes out. Check out the Video Reel for audition tapes from the new dating show "Baggage" where everyone has serious issues. Based on this, we took calls from people so they could tell us why they are un-datable.

Hour 4
We continued picking Station Mayors today. This time around, we selected a Mayor for WGRD in Grand Rapids. It seemed to be the biggest collection of losers so far! Heinz somehow managed to outshine the other two and won the race. You can still submit your application by clicking on the link in the Slideshow! Obama responded to Don't Ask, Don't Tell hecklers by telling them that he agreed with them. Since they're stupid, they still didn't get it and continued to yell in protest. There are rumors floating around that Michelle "Bombshell" McGee and Jamie Jungers are in talks to co-host a new TV show called "Celebrity Cheaters". It will be produced by the same guy that produced the show "Cheaters".

Hour 5
Inside Edition ran what we thought to be a very sensationalized news story about kids setting themselves on fire by spraying themselves with aerosol body spray and then lighting a match. They made it seem like every kid in the world is doing this. The truth is, some kids are pyros, but most are not stupid enough to do this. We talked a little about the GM bailout today. They have already repaid the money that was loaned to them by the US government. We closed the show calls about why legalizing pot shouldn't happen. No one will ever agree on this!

Monday, April 19, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 07:00:00 GMT

We started the morning talking about the 60 Minutes piece about a new school snake oil salesman that was selling stem cells to ALS victims, claiming that it would change their lives and they would see results in three to four weeks. Free Beer had a list this morning and we had to determine whether the names he was reading were names of roller coasters or a kind of pot. On the list was "Déjà vu" which inspired some funny debate about what it really was. Free Beer found out this weekend that he often speaks gibberish to his wife when he sleeps. We talked for a while about the CBS Strikeforce MMA fight from Saturday and the brawl that ensued after one of the fights. Zane's brother Push-up Paul came to see us at our station appearance on Saturday night in Flint when we were hosting rock star karaoke. He was bombed and this made him hug too much and point at people in a most obvious way. Dan Boyle of the San Jose Sharks scored on his own goal over the weekend, which made them lose the game. PGA pro Brian Davis called a penalty on himself because his club tapped a stick on his back swing at the Verizon Heritage. This caused him to come in second place instead of first, which had a difference of $400,000! Free Beer's friend got some unexpected comedy from a mortician over the weekend, so we talked for a while about how creepy that profession is and why people would ever want to do it. According to CBS News, letters have been found from Pope Benedict congratulating a Bishop for covering up a sex scandal. We all agreed that it is ridiculous how the Catholic Church manages to get away with this and how this would not be acceptable in any way from any other organization. Based on an email that we got from a listener, we took phone calls from people that could complete the following statement: I knew the date was over when __________. In the Headlines segment, we talked about Brian Dunkleman's response to Ryan Seacrest, the Iceland volcano and the 2 stroke golf penalty from the weekend. Zane talked about his triathlon school weekend and how he got an autograph from his favorite exerciser. A Phillies fan intentionally barfed on a father and his daughter that were sitting in front of him last week. Based on this, we took calls about belligerent sports fans and how you ruined the game for everybody. Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy broke up and he is paying her $25M ($5M for each year they were together) so she wouldn't talk about his weirdo habits. To close the show, we talked about John Gruden's Quarterback camp and his critique on Colt McCoy. Talk to you Tuesday!

Friday, April 16, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Zane watched an HBO documentary about the time leading up to the Sugar Shane/Floyd Mayweather fight. Shane couldn't be more likable, whereas Mayweather couldn't be a bigger dick. While biking yesterday, Zane first had to ride waist deep through poop water, then came upon a gigantic tortoise with a grand canyon-sized gash going through it's shell. This poor bastard was still clinging to life as it struggled to cross the road. The movie Kick Ass comes out today. Everyone is excited for it except Roger Ebert. Producer Joe will be going to see the movie immediately following the show. One of the smartest men in the world was bilked for most of what he's worth by a celebrity psychic. He wrote three books for her that made millions and gave her half the royalties from his books. The idiot then gave the other half of his royalties to her son! People are pissed after a student paper in Seattle asked the question "If you could be famous for anything, what would it be?" The reason people are pissed is because the answers they got were serial killer, killing someone famous. We got listeners on the phone to answer the question as well and then answered ourselves. Steve was hesitant, gave his answer, and was then beaten up brutally for his stupid response. Check out the Video Reel for the video of the super creepy pedophile gameshow host from Canada. You won't believe how uncomfortable you'll be after watching this perv. In the Headlines segment, we talked about a guy who really hates Iceland, CNN reporter Rick Sanchez not understanding how there could be a volcano in Iceland and Scott Stapp's tribute to the Florida Marlins. Hot Wings ruined the end of this segment with a comment that was in no way relevant to the conversation. Zane is really excited about going to exercise school this weekend. We looked over his itinerary and mocked nearly every single event. Today was the day that we picked the Station Mayor for our Nashville affiliate, 102.9 The Buzz. Queenie and Shannon were the two candidates today and listeners emailed in brutally attacking both of them for their smoker voices. We closed the show with a game of Name That Blank. The time is limited to get your applications in to be a Station mayor of your local affiliate! Click on the link in the Slideshow and submit your application now!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Zane measured Free Beer's body fat yesterday, but somehow the fat calipers said that he had actually GAINED fat in the last month, which makes no sense. He's lost a bunch of weight, so it was determined that Zane must have screwed up the first measurement last month. This led to some talk about Free Beer's rage fests at basketball. A pro bass fisherman was prosecuted for theft when he stuffed his bass with a pound of lead. We didn't understand what the difference is between this and the ways have tried to cheat in NASCAR. We talked this morning about the massive meteor that lit up the sky that could be seen across the country. We had a major show announcement this morning: We'll be filling in for the Dan Patrick Show later this month! His show is heard on 200+ radio stations across the country, so we're pretty excited. Check out the Cool Links section for the video of Stephen Colbert talking to the founder of Wikileaks, the organization that released the video last week of soldiers killing civilians. You'll also want to check out the video of the professional gaming quadriplegic that play video games with his face since his hands are inoperable. Based on the story, Hot Wings decided that it was his time to come out swinging by calling the kid ugly and suggesting pedophiles were into him when he was three years old. We somehow got on the subject of the documentary Man on Wire about the guy that walked on a tight rope between the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center back in the day. If you haven't seen it yet, do it! Check out the Cool Links section for a list of the 12 manliest world records. Some are pretty ridiculous. Larry King is getting divorced for the seventh time. Based on this, we took calls from people who had been divorced numerous times. Students at Berkeley found Sarah Palin's rider agreement in the garbage and found out the ridiculous amounts that she gets paid for appearances, as well as her list of demands when at the event. We talked to MMA fighter Dan Henderson this morning to promo his fight coming up with Strike Force MMA. You can listen to that on the Interviews page. We got the finalists for the Station Mayor of Springfield, IL on the phone today for a debate. Friend of the show Bishop was one of the candidates and Zane didn't like that, so he beat him up most of the time. Congrats goes out to the new mayor, Bob Patterson! If you want to be in the running for the Station Mayor on your local station, just click the link in the Slideshow and fill out an application! We closed the show with a late edition of Dumber Than Zane Trivia which was worth $800 this week.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 07:00:00 GMT

While talking about the upcoming Flashback segment, we focused for a little while on the awful breath of our former intern, Andrew the Well Spoken Cuban Man. This is an awful stigma. We saw another story about some idiot that flew in a chair tethered to balloons. While talking about this, we ganged up on hot air balloonists because they are very inconsiderate and just land their balloons and drive their trucks wherever they want. We decided that all dick balloon enthusiasts suck. We got Intern Wiener 2 on the phone to talk about the big Lurch/Wiener 1 punch that will supposedly be happening later this week. We're still not sure why they're actually doing it. Last night on American Idol, Ryan Seacrest took an unsolicited shot at Brian Dunkleman, who was one of the original hosts of the show. During Paired With an Idiot this morning, there was a funny moment when Free Beer was not exactly happy with his partner and had a bit of a pout fest. Jim Nantz was on a sports talk show the other day and went on a rant about Tigers Woods' language last weekend at the Masters. Get over yourself, Jesus freak! Zane left the show early yesterday for jury duty. Based on a question asked to all potential jurors, we asked the audience whether they think a cop can properly do their job if they are obese. Andy Dick was arrested when he drunkenly tried to break into a house that was not his. We took calls from listeners who have had similar experiences where they passed out and woke up in an unfamiliar place. Check out the Video Reel for the video of a seemingly intoxicated Jerry Jones talking trash about Tim Tebow and Bill Parcells. It was captured by a cell phone from a group of guys that were drinking with him at the bar. There is a new unauthorized biography about Oprah written by Kitty Kelley that reveals some amazing details about her life, including her being a wild child, resorting to prostitution and having a lesbian relationship with Diane Sawyer. Steven Seagal is being sued by a former assistant that is claiming he wanted her to be his sex slave. In the Cool Links section, you'll see a story about a guy that fell asleep on a flight and didn't wake up until the plane had been sitting in the hangar for nearly 90 minutes! We have decided to start picking Station Mayors for each of our affiliates based on the applications we have received. Up first is Albany. We narrowed it down and got three candidates on the phone for a little debate which ended up being very funny. To submit your application to be a station mayor for YOUR affiliate, click on the link in the Slideshow and fill it out!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Zane finally saw the movie Gran Torino recently and really enjoyed Clint Eastwood's old man tough talking and ass-kicking. We read an email from a listener thanking us for shaming him and other people to get in to shape. A guy was talking a jumper down from a three story building and was pulled off when the person jumped. During the fall, he heroically positioned himself under this woman so she might live. She did, but he's pretty messed up. Zane's daughter found two wild baby bunnies. They had already named them and become attached when Zane had to bust out some wild animal knowledge on them, and made them take them back. In a true "old man" moment, Hot Wings stated that watching bunnies play in his backyard was the best thing he had ever watched. Listener Travis called in to ask for our help in a hard decision that he's being forced to make: accept a job in the Virgin Islands and lose his wife, or continue to work 16 hours a day and just scrape by in Tennessee. We took a bunch of calls from listeners that wanted to respond to his predicament. A woman who is a foot model spends 30 grand a month on her hair extensions and looks like a regular woman. Check out the Video Reel for the video of a cop that is in trouble for tazing a coworker a chick with a tazer. Russia is threatening to suspend all adoptions by American families after a woman sent a six year old that she'd adopted back to Russia with nothing but a note saying she didn't want him any more. All charges against Ben Roethlisberger have been dropped, so we played the audio from his statement this morning. In the Headlines segment, we talked mostly about Conan going to TBS and George Lopez' response and supposed beef with him from a few months ago. In the Video Reel, you'll see a video we talked about this morning of the biggest nerd ever auditioning for some video game competition show. It's unbelievable how nerdy he is. Based on the audio we played last week of former boxer Rocky Lockridge crying on the show Intervention, we got an email from a listener that lost all control of his body while hearing that segment. Producer Joe has made a lifestyle change and is considering hopping off the vegetarian train and eating meat again. All of our interns have some kind of competition going where the loser is going to end up getting punched in the face. So far, it looks like Wiener 1 will be the one receiving the punching. Talk to you tomorrow!

Monday, April 12, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Producer Joe came back after the weekend to an awful stench in his studio. He had left a shaker with whey protein drink in it, and someone had turned the heat up to about 85 degrees. Needless to say, it smelled awful and we made him take a big whiff of it. Check out that video in the Show Videos section. A possible cure for melanoma has been found and will be "fast-tracked", however, it won't be on the market for 5 years. We discussed how absurd it was that this was considered "fast-tracked". Joe was in Virginia for his Stunt Tour last week, so we replayed the three stunts that he did on Friday's show. You can see videos for all three stunts on the Joe's Stunts page. Due to a mistake when booking his flight, Joe had to find alternate transportation back from Virginia. He told us all about his adventure this morning. Audio from our show was played on 20/20 on Friday night, so we listened back to that and laughed about it all over again. You can see the video from 20/20 on the Show Videos page. Tiger Woods tough-talked himself quite a bit at The Masters over the weekend so we played a bunch of that audio, as well as other highlights from the tournament. Parade Magazine published an article about the salaries for different people in different areas around the country. Some loser phlebotomist (i.e. blood taker) called in to claim that he made 70 grand and that he saves lives because he takes blood. We then got a ton of emails from other listeners that said the phlebotomist was full of crap when he said he made 70 grand. We got a couple of Star Wars super nerds on the phone today to play the nerdiest game ever: Star Wars Name That Sound. Dustin the uber-nerd reigned supreme. While playing some of the 20/20 audio again, we got a call from some idiot that didn't understand percentages and tried to convince us that we were wrong. It was awesome at how quickly and brutally they were taken out.

Friday, April 09, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 07:00:00 GMT

We started off the show talking about how the MTV show Jersey Shore has now inspired other pointless reality shows about people of other specific nationalities. The same company is now producing a show called "Persian Version". That sounds incredible. After winning the league championship in a European hockey league, players on the team turned on the coach and beat him up. They were all released from the team. Talking about this led to us talking about arena league football and awful low-budget basketball league games that we've been to. Producer Joe got an email from the producers at 20/20 telling us that the "I didn't know I was pregnant" episode will air tonight. They had requested audio from our show from a massive beat-up session that took place after we played the audio of a 911 call where a woman gave birth and claimed that she had no clue she was pregnant. Free Beer watched Intervention last night and played us some audio of the most incredible sound to ever come from a human. During the intervention, the druggie had just been yelled at by his son and let out a ridiculous wail. We got a call from a listener that said his alarm clock went off and that was the first sound he heard and it scared him to death. A porno company that produces videos that supposedly take place on a college campus with real students is in trouble. It turns out that they're not on a real campus and everyone is a paid actor! Shocking! We played a news story about a girl that was suspended for going to the prom with a dress that was too revealing. She had the option of suspension, or a paddling. We beat her and her mother up pretty badly because they're awful humans. Free Beer was a tattle tale yesterday. The garbage truck he was driving behind was raining down garbage as it drove down the street so he called the "How's my driving?" number on the back. Incredibly, the guy that was driving the truck called in to give us the story of what happened. Producer Joe is not in the studio today, but instead, at our affiliate 104.9/105.5 The Bone in Winchester, VA for the first stop on his Stunt Tour. He did three stunts this morning in Winchester, including the Baby Bird, gave a haircut and even smashed a listener's car with a sledgehammer! Check out the audio on the Sound Bites page. Talk to you Monday!

Thursday, April 08, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 07:00:00 GMT

At the beginning of the show, we read over a list of the baseball franchises that are worth the most and least amounts of money. Nicholas Cage had three of his houses on the auction block yesterday. They were decorated in such a childish stupid fashion that they received zero bids! Listener Brady sent an email to let us know that listening to our podcast injured him. He was running on a treadmill when something struck him to be hilarious. As he started to laugh, his feet flew out from under him and he fell to the ground. In a few weeks, we'll be in Flint doing live rock band karaoke with our affiliate, Banana 101.5. Zane revealed that he plans on buying leather pants and wearing a vest for the occasion. We read over a list of the most popular baby names and fastest rising baby names from the last year. The most popular were stupid old timey names like Oliver. The fastest risers were stupid names like Atreyu and Sookie. A recent breakdown of how many people pay taxes revealed that about half of people pay no federal taxes at all. As usual, we got the annual "you don't have to pay your taxes" email. NBA player Kenyon Martin went crazy after someone filled his land rover with buttered popcorn. It seemed to be pretty justified, though, because it apparently ruined the interior of his car. We got four women back on the line to continue talk about the Maxim sex survey that we started yesterday. Check out the Video Reel for the video of the kid that is being referred to as the Chinese Susan Boyle singing a Whitney Houston song. Zane was beaten up pretty badly for not being able to understand the lyrics, even though the kid was clearly singing in English. In the Headlines segment, we talked about the new Nike commercial featuring nothing but Tiger's father's voice. Ouch! Henry in Nashville was the contestant this morning on Dumber than Zane Trivia. He proclaimed that he was an unemployed rapper, so of course we demanded that he throw down live on the show. We played the video of a 10 year old kid that is supposedly the best basketball player in the country for his age. Everyone seemed to agree that he was brainwashed by his dad into doing nothing but practicing all day, every day. All he does is speak in clichés and quotes Bible passages. A diplomat from Qatar caused a bunch of chaos on a flight because he smoked in the bathroom and then made jokes about lighting his shoe on fire. Fighter jets were scrambled to intercept the plane before they knew what was going on. Be sure to listen tomorrow to hear the first stop on Producer Joe's Stunt Tour in Winchester, VA!

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Zane got into an argument with his wife yesterday because he asked her three days in a row to call the vet about the dog. To explain his frustration, he used a really weird example about washing cars with Free Beer, which made him sound like a big homo. We talked this morning about the Jesse James/Tiger Woods double standard. For some reason, we want to see Tiger turn it all around and do well, but couldn't care less if Jesse James loses everything because he's a biker. Extreme Makeover Home Edition has finally figured out what everyone else already knew: that the people they're helping won't be able to afford the property taxes on their brand new mansions. They'll be scaling back this season, which will be a bummer for anyone they help this year. The owner of the West Virvinia mine that exploded said that he did everything he could to make the mine safe. However, he paid fines passed in the past that would say otherwise. We went over a list of the most hated businesses in America this morning. Buzz Aldrin was voted off of Dancing With the Stars. This lead to a rant by Zane about the space program of today which he of course took one step too far by saying he'll be sad when all the shuttles blow up, because there would then be no more shuttles to blow up. This began a conversation comparing how visually spectacular certain disasters were. A grandmother was the victim of the worst April Fools prank ever when she was told that her daughter had been shot. She called 911 and was freaking out and then later learned about the stupid prank. Two German women tried to smuggle a dead body on a plane. They claimed the old man died at the last minute and that they were not trying to do anything illegal. We played an impromptu game of Guess the Punch Line of some of George Lopez' jokes. He's insanely not funny. A guy from the Dept. of Labor in Albany, NY is being paid over $100,000 a year for literally making two calls a day and sitting at home...and this is a punishment, according to the state! In the Headlines segment, we talked about how Wolf Blitzer is an idiot, Tracy Morgan crying on Oprah and Tina Fey's Tracy Morgan impression. We started a segment late in the show today by talking about Tiger Woods, and how it would be funny if someone shouted "It's in HER hole" when he tees off, instead of "It's in THE hole". Somehow this led to us talking about how uncomfortable it would be for gynecologists to call their patient's vagina a "hole" instead. That then led to us wondering if a dude has ever gotten a rod while getting a check up. We got a call from a Nashville listener who happened to get pulled over by a state trooper just as we picked up the line. We stayed on the line waiting for the cop to approach, when a semi swerves so close to them that the cop jumped back in his car and went after the truck. A couple bought a used suitcase at a Goodwill store that happened to have nearly $100,000 in it. The couple that bought it put it into several bank accounts, but was found because they bought it with a credit card. We asked the audience if they would have turned it in or kept it. We closed the show with a women's panel about the Maxim sex survey that we came across.

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 07:00:00 GMT

We started our day off by talking about Sheriff Joe Arpaio (He's well known as being extremely tough on the inmates at his prison). The latest news on him is that he's come up with a plan to whip the female inmates into shape. They can watch all the TV they want, but they'll have to power every second of it themselves. They would do this by pedaling bikes as they watched. Zane claims that if he ever went to prison, he would make an announcement letting everyone know, they we're free to rape him as much as they wanted, so long as they didn't hurt him. After listening to a small clip of the monologue from The George Lopez Show, Free Beer tried his hand at telling bad jokes in a crazy exasperated tone. It turns out that he's just as good at it as Lopez. Prison story number two of the day: An inmate sent a letter to his Mother. In it he asked her to smuggle drugs into the prison. The problem - and you knew there would be one - is that he wrote the prison address on the envelope instead of his Moms. Although outgoing mail isn't checked, the incoming is. The inmate is now being charged with a more serious crime than the one that put him in there to begin with. We found a video of three kids play fighting each other. It takes a terrible turn when one of the older kids accidentally lands a devastating punch to the face of the youngest one. Ensuring we all have a place in hell, we played it about one thousand times, each time laughing more and more. You can find that video in the Video Reel portion of the site. Kim Jong Il's personal chef has written a tell all book. It talks about what life at the palace was like. Included are stories about nude disco parties, fixed jet-ski races, and having to sort through every grain of rice being prepared for Supreme Leader. Check out the full article in the Cool Links section. Free Beer became a knife wielding maniac last night. He searched his house for an hour at midnight because he thought his dog was trying to tell him that a burglar had broken in. The pitcher for Vandy took a line drive to the knee, and still managed to make the play. Check Cool Links for the video, and an x-ray of his shattered knee. The porn star that tiger boned held a press conference following Tiger's press conference. I guess she felt calling him a "big fat liar" while demanding an apology justified national air time. And finally, we played a news story about a 2007 video that was just made public by Wikileak. It shows a US helicopter opening fire on a group of Iraqi civilians for what appears to be no reason. The incident was never commented on by the pentagon nor was the video released. We are casting judgment on no one right now, but would like more info from a government official. The story we watched is in the Video Reel section.

Monday, April 05, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 07:00:00 GMT

We kicked off the show by talking about Butler beating State and moving on to play Duke. This is not at all like "Hoosiers" despite the media forcing that comparison down our throats. It's now being reported that Lindsay Lohan's fee to host parties is $5,000. This is half of what Snookie from The Jersey Shore gets. Do things get worse than that? Zane noticed that his Dad has a Facebook account. Zane is pissed that he is the only family member who has not been friended. How did you ruin Easter? We took several calls from listeners who ruined Easter for their families. Dateline found out that Olivia Newton John's ex-husband is not dead, and that he did, in fact, run away to start a new life. We took calls from people that tried to do the same. Tiger Woods' kindergarten teacher held a press conference to demand an apology from Woods. This comes up 10 years after woods told a story about her doing nothing after kids tied him to a tree, pelted him with stones, and spray painted the "N" word on him. We hate her, and think his story is bogus. A group of gross hags had a topless parade though downtown Portland, Maine. We talked to one of the hippos, and asked her to explain the reasoning behind this, and what they wanted to accomplish. A link to a news story about this can be found in the Cool Links section of the site.

Friday, April 02, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 07:00:00 GMT

An email came in from a guy that had to speed away from a stop light after we played a drop of Ken Jeong shouting "Calm down hershey bar!" This unbelievably enough, isn't the first time this has happened. Zane worked on hot wings with his stick. What I mean is, Zane worked the kinks out of Hot Wing's muscles with a product he owns called "The Stick". The video of this gay act will be posted soon. We discussed a teacher in NH that is in trouble after coaxing a kid in his class into shocking his nipples. Free Beer ran down the a list of 30 things every man should have by age 30. Hot Wings of course pulls his classic move of not giving a simple yes/no answers. He then debates Zane on whether spaghetti is a dish or not. We ask our gang of interns to explain Good Friday to us. They do about as great as we had imagined, by failing miserably. Finally, Joe attempted to break the world record for most eggs broken on a persons head. He didn't quite make it, but walked away a happy man because he was covered in egg jizz. Have a good weekend!

Thursday, April 01, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 07:00:00 GMT

We started the show talking about stupid April Fools pranks, including the ones that Sadaam Hussein used to play on the people of Iraq. We also talked about the crazy prank that another radio show pulled, where they went on the air and told everyone that the mayor was dead. Awesome! We then went over a list from a magazine of the greatest April Fools pranks ever. We talked about the new Clash of the Titans movie that is coming out. This then led us to watching the trailer for the original and picking apart how awful it was. We noticed that the old trailer had a voice over guy telling you how exciting it was, even though it wasn't. The new trailer looks awesome, so it doesn't need the stupid voiceover dick. Zane told us about the insane workout that he did yesterday including running, biking and swimming. He hates it, but he's addicted. He claimed that his days are spent running, biking, swimming and F'ing. A hospital in PA has decided to no longer hire smokers. Shepard Smith tried to compare smoking to salt usage (as well as other non lethal things) and ended up making himself look really stupid. You can see that in the Video Reel. Hot Wings stunk up the entire office yesterday with his rotting bean goulash-type meal. We took a bunch of calls from listeners about eating gross stuff that was rotting. VIP's can see the video of Hot Wings' gross meal on the Videos page. Interns Wiener #1 and Wiener #2 were both in today and participated in another Wiener Challenge. This time, they would have to catch hot dogs that were thrown off the parking garage by Producer Joe. The hot dogs were dipped in a ketchup/mustard/relish slop sauce. The video is posted on the Videos page. During the Headlines segment, we talked about the Twins player that hit his own mother with a foul ball, a Mindy McCready sex tape update and Jay Leno checking in to say that both him and Conan were screwed. Miguel from Windham, ME was the contestant on Dumber Than Zane Trivia today, worth $2,800! We played the audio of J-Lo messing up while singing a Barbara Streisand song. Some say that the audio shows how much of a diva she is. We thought that she couldn't have come out of this looking more normal. She messed up and laughed at herself. Even more has come out about Tiger Woods, including the supposed $10M he paid to keep one of the mistresses quiet. We closed the show with a late edition of Name That Blank.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 07:00:00 GMT

We started the show talking about Jesse James' growing list of mistresses, and how he has now checked himself in to rehab. According to the National Enquirer, his list of women is now up to 11. For some reason, Dr. Drew chimed in and claimed that Sandra Bullock is addicted to love, and that they should not be together. A group did a sleep study that linked the position you fall asleep in to they type of personality you have. This seemed stupid and pointless. Steve came in this morning in agonizing pain because he needs a root canal, but the dentist can't take him for 2 weeks. Zane made it his mission to get Steve to a dentist before the end of the show. Low and behold, friend of the show Dr. Erik dropped what he was doing and had Steve come right in. We went over a list of brain teasers this morning that got Hot Wings so pissed off, he answered one of the questions "who the hell cares". The questions were all dumb. Based on a list of the funniest porno titles ever, we played the porn title game. Zane and Hot wings were given the top ten movies from over the weekend and they had to come up with what they thought the porno title would be. Check out the Video Reel for the video of the woman that tried to place Karl Rove under citizen's arrest. Based on this, we asked listeners to call in if they had ever placed someone under arrest, or been placed under citizen's arrest themselves. Glenn Beck believes that a prank was played on some of his fans when all of their cars were towed from one of his live events. Just the mere mention of Glenn Beck got the calls rolling in. We got one of his fans on the phone and he actually tried to argue that Beck is a moderate! During the Headlines segment, we talked about Dancing with the Stars and K-Fed on Celebrity Fit Club. We talked to Al Snyder on the show today, the father of fallen Marine Matthew Snyder. After dying in Iraq, Matthew's funderal was protested by the Westboro Baptist Church. Al sued and won settlement against them, but it was overturned by a higher court and is now headed to the Supreme Court. Until a verdict is reached, he is being forced to pay all the court costs. For information on how you can support his fight, please visit www.matthewsnyder.org or just click the link in Cool Links. We took quite a few follow-up calls on this interview. Steve finally returned from the dentist late in the show, all doped up but feeling much better. Talk to you tomorrow!

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 07:00:00 GMT

The IT tech/nerd department of a school is working on a vest that you will be able to wear while playing video games that will give the sensation of pain when you get hit with a bullet or hit with a punch. We wondered who would actually buy this stupid thing because the reason people play video games is to be able to do stuff they're unable to do in real life, without the consequences of injury. In the Cool Links section, there's an article that lists the most unbreakable sports records that you've probably never heard of. While talking about this, Zane went on a tangent about mating tall people so there would be a race of super-tall people...you know, in very much the same way the Nazis planned with their superior race. Zane was invited by his cousin to join a Facebook group that is against the French using dogs and cats as shark bait. It didn't take much research to learn that this is pretty much a hoax. It has happened at times, but it is not common practice. We talked for a while about how useless Facebook groups and online petitions usually are at making any difference in the world. A farmer in Indiana has a giant gas bubble growing on the top of his poo lagoon on his farm. He wants to pop it, but he is being told by the EPA that he is not allowed because it would contaminate the ground surrounding it. We discussed the possibility of sending Producer Joe to the farm to spear the giant gas bubble beast. To get back at his girlfriend, a guy took a dump on the seat of his girlfriend's car, or so he thought. It turned out that it wasn't her car and the owner of the car watched him do it and called the cops. We did some NFL talk this morning including the sex charges facing Ben Roethlisberger and Santonio Holmes. Zane then noted that the amount of face time a player gets is directly related to the amount of trouble they get in. More face time, more trouble. The example of NFL kickers is brought up. No kicker ever gets in trouble! We read over the list of all of the amazingly hot chicks that Derek Jeter has been with. It's ridiculous. Mindy McCreedy will apparently be releasing a sex tape in which she takes time away from getting banged to talk about the sexual relationship she had with Roger Clemens when she was 16 and he was 29. She also noted that he had erectile dysfunction. Check out the Cool Links section for the amazing video of a plane that crashed just after skydivers exited. Based on this, we asked for calls about how you've cheated death. We talked for a while about the crazy Jesus warrior (Hutaree) militia groups in Michigan, Ohio and Indiana that even people in the Michigan Militia think are crazy. They were planning on killing a police officer. Then when people went to the funeral, they planned was to blow the mourners away. Check out the Video Reel for the story about how the tanning tax is affecting NJ residents. They interviewed some of the stupidest people in the state. Kate Gosselin proved once again that she can not keep any man around her for any reason when her Dancing With the Stars coach quit on her. She was being a bitch and telling him that he wasn't teaching correctly. We closed the show by going over a list of the 25 funniest people working on Hollywood today.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Zane ran in to some people over the weekend that were dressed like they had just been golfing, but since it was night time, this was very unlikely. They explained to him that they had been bar golfing, which meant that they had been to 9 bars that night dressed like idiots. Check out the Video Reel to see the guy that turned his scooter in to a flamethrower to keep people from tailgating him. Steve once again offered to buy Zane's scooter, as he said he wants to get rid of it again. We went over a list of the top paying sports franchises in the world. Zane's priest has become a "tell it like it is" priest and won't stop busting his balls about his bald head. The coach of the Abbotsford Heat of the AHL went crazy after a referee tossed one of his players out of a game recently. The video is in the Video Reel. A Ford Mustang drove into a pond after the dealership used the owners remote car starter to start the vehicle. The owner installed the remote starter and purposely disabled the safety mechanism to keep it from starting while in gear. We debated whose fault this was. Hot Wings was adamant about it being the responsibility of the dealerships and was angered by the mere thought of American muscle being ruined. Bret Michaels joined us on the show this morning to talk about a variety of topics including a new album, Celebrity Apprentice, old stories from the road and much more. You can hear that interview on the Audio page. We talked this morning about people who post way too much personal information on Facebook. Free Beer's wife saw a friend of hers post something about his alimony payments breaking the bank and pleas for people to send him money. In the Video Reel, you'll see the video of a guy that suckers punches his wife while grocery shopping because his tourettes is acting up. It's worth it to watch! We played the audio of a woman that called 911 on herself for driving drunk. Uma Thurman's movie Motherhood premiered in the UK. It took in 130 dollars for the weekend after selling only 12 tickets! Dennis Hopper is just now getting his star on the walk of fame. He's dying of cancer and getting a divorce. He's in rough shape. The male prostitute that started his career just months ago is already calling it quits after bringing in no business. This made us wonder if any woman ever hires a prostitute. We talked about an interesting stat that said that one third of all first round draft picks for the NFL smoke pot. This led to some good talk on smoking pot and druggie athletes. SNL alum Victoria Jackson is too crazy even for Fox News. Check out the link in Cool Links to see why. There are a ton of new videos and links posted from today's show. Talk to you on Tuesday!

Friday, March 26, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 07:00:00 GMT

We started the show talking a little more about the Urban Meyer tantrum that we briefly talked about yesterday. This, of course, led in to a Tim Teabow beat-up session. A giraffe at the zoo in Albuquerque died recently and instead of it being disposed of in the normal way (taking it to a landfill), it was dismembered piece by piece and thrown away in a dumpster by a zoo employee. Free Beer is back from jury duty after a few days. We talked about all the hassles that went along with deliberations, including how he and the rest of the jury got in trouble for asking what words mean. Zane has to go in next for federal jury duty in a few weeks and wants no part of it. He is already pissed off and is having imaginary fights with a judge he hasn't met you. Zane addressed his blow up on yesterday's show that was based on emailers ganging up on Steve filling in for Free Beer. In Hot Wings' Science Corner, we discussed the Popular Science article that talked about how scientists are getting closer to shutting off a gene in our bodies that would allow us to regenerate parts of our bodies. Zane came home yesterday to his son snuggling on the couch with his girlfriend. At first, his attention was on the lack of space between them. It soon turned to what they were snuggling to the beach scene in Saving Private Ryan. This whole break turned on Zane for the mistakes he made when he was a teen like taking a girl that hated him to prom and wearing Adidas jumpsuits. Free Beer learned, while on jury duty, that you can go to jail for two to four looking at someone's email! Our old friend Dude Shadoway was back in the studio today to interview the Barbi Twins about clubbing baby seals. As usual, Dude was very confused. A woman in England has a phobia about having sex indoors. Zane recommended exposure therapy including tying her to the bed. We then referred to this as "rape therapy". We then took calls from listeners about their strange fears. A girl called in to say that she was scared of fresh water sharks. Hot Wings stated that no such thing existed, which started an email and call storm from listeners that all cited one time that a shark attacked someone in a lake. Bottom line, WHO CARES? Zane gave himself hypothermia yesterday after a poorly planned bike ride wardrobe. During the Headlines segment, we talked about the video showing George W. Bush wiping his hand on Bill Clinton after shaking the hand of a Haitian. We also talked a good amount about the NCAA tournament. In our first ever round of Silent Treatment Court, a girl called in because she hadn't talked to her dad in two years. She's 22 and he married a 24 year old woman. The step mom calls her horrible names and is always backed up by the father/husband. We talked about the growing list of women that Jesse James has had sex with. We then asked the audience to call in and tell us how many relationships they're juggling at one time. We got some really good calls including a guy that was juggling ten women at once! We talked about an article from AskMen.com that listed the biggest regrets that men have. We took a bunch of calls on this to close out the show. There's tons of new stuff posted from this week, so check it all out. Talk to you on Monday!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 07:00:00 GMT

We started the show WITHOUT Free Beer for the first time that anyone can remember! We talked about how Octomom is going to make money by putting a sign in her front yard provided by PETA that promotes spaying and neutering your pets. Irony? We talked a bit about Miley Cyrus on American Idol. Of course, Zane loved it and Hot Wings hated it. We talk about the polarizing effect of the Autograph breaks from yesterday. Steve nearly dropped a weight on his face yesterday when his Autograph ringtone (available for download on the Audio page!) went off and cracked him up during his workout. For some reason, Hot Wings claimed this morning that he used to be great at dodgeball back in the day. Once again, it was a great example of Hot Wings claiming something that could never be proven. The family of the Sea World trainer that was killed by the whale is fighting to keep the video of her death private. While talking about this, we played the Zeppelin song Moby Dick. Zane said that if he could play that song, it's all he would play 24/7. A 12 year old kid named Jacob emailed in because he wants to get in to radio and wanted our advice. Zane told him to keep screwing off in school and never listen to his boss. Check out the Video Reel for the video of some nerdy, high-energy kid being interviewed at a basketball clinic. He is very reminiscent of the "I like turtles" kid. It is being reported that Jesse James had more than just one affair. Apparently, he also had an affair with another porn star/stripper. We talked about a new reality show that will focus on people that have had Facebook and Craigslist hook-ups. We took a bunch of calls from listeners on the same subject. A mother is pissed because her daughter's school sent her 15 year old daughter to get an abortion without her knowing. We took some calls on whether or not the school was in the wrong or not. During the Headlines segment, we talked mostly about the possible legalization of marijuana in California. We played Dumber Than Zane Trivia this morning, worth $2,400 from our friends at Cat Footwear. Check out the Video Reel for the video of Urban Meyer was yelling at a reporter from the Orlando Sentinel for including a quote from a player in his story. This reminded us of some of the other great coach rants of all time. We closed the show by playing a game of Name That Blank, including the point when Zane asked how the game is won. Apparently, he didn't understand the crazy concept of "most points wins". Talk to you Friday morning. Will Free Beer be back? We shall see!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 07:00:00 GMT

We came across an article about an autistic kid that has picked every single game correctly so far in his NCAA bracket pool. The odds of him getting every game correct are one in one quintillion or something ridiculous like that. Zane was disappointed when we found and played some audio of the kid and he sounded completely normal. Free Beer was in for the first half of the show again. Some of the people on the jury with him actually know him from the radio show. Zane gave us an update on the "school shooter" in his family when he came across the kid's Facebook page. He's been making posts about pleasuring himself and murdering people. We're convinced he's going to go off the deep end any day now. A pilot for Quantas Airlines is suing the airline because he had urges to shut down and crash the planes while flying them, and they let him stay on the job. We all wondered why he didn't just quit. Lurch was in charge of the lists this week for Paired With an Idiot and literally used a word that could not be described. Zane got an email from an old coworker of his, but he does not remember her whatsoever. The email seemed to have been written when she was hammered. She wants a job on the show, but that idea was pretty quickly shot down. Check out the Video Reel for the video we talked about this morning of a train hitting a fire truck that was parked on the tracks. Hot Wings came across a list of the top 13 worst songs by professional athletes. Most of them sucked pretty badly, but we all thought that the song "Autograph" by a couple of tennis players kicked ass. In fact, it kicked so much ass that we joined in at the end and EVERYONE loved it. In the Headlines segment, we talked about Joe Biden dropping the F-bomb on live television, and also about Crystal Bowersox from American Idol tearing it up with her rendition of a Janis Joplin song. Today on the show, we talked to comedian Joe Rogan about his new comedy special, "Joe Rogan: Talking Monkeys in Space", as well as a variety of other topics. You can listen to that on the Audio page. To close out the show, we listened to a news story about fans cheering during the national anthem at Chicago Blackhawks games. Some are making the claim that it's disrespectful to do this. We got a bunch of veterans on the phone to get their opinion, but it seemed to be pretty evenly split 50/50. Lots of new stuff posted today, so be sure to check it out. Talk to you Thursday.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 07:00:00 GMT

We started the show talking about problems with customer service, based on Free Beer talking about how he ran three errands yesterday and had issues with each of them. There are a ton of awful movie "Part 4's" coming out including Transformers, Austin Powers and Indiana Jones. None of us plan to see any of them. Free Beer was at jury duty yesterday and against all odds, he has been picked for the jury! He'll be out for the second half of the show all week. Hot Wings hates Miley Cyrus so much that the sound of her talking makes him shiver. Zane disagrees, however, and considers her to be America's sweetheart. We played some audio of the 600lb. NJ woman that is trying to break the record for the fattest woman in the world. She claims that she is "doing it the healthy way", which obviously makes absolutely no sense. The new guy at our office has a name for everybody. He refers to Zane as "muh-man" and Free Beer is "boss". We got an email from friend of the show Andy (who is in a wheelchair). Producer Joe was hanging out with him the other day and complained about going to the gym to run. Him and Andy then had a good laugh about it. We then took some calls on other great foot-in-mouth moments. Check out the video in the Video Reel of the nerdy kung fu master who shows people how to defend themselves with ordinary household products like magazines and bracelets. We then determined that kung fu is worthless. We spent most of the Headlines segment focusing on Dancing With the Stars, especially how awful Kate Gosselin is. Hot Wings found an article yesterday that talked about the worst jobs in science that included discussion of fecal transplants and anal gland squirters. We took a bunch of calls from listeners telling us about their awful jobs. We closed the show talking about a list of the 13 most annoying ad characters of all time like The Noid and Mr. Six from the Six Flags commercials.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 07:00:00 GMT

We started the show by trying to determine what super power we would choose if given a list of the following: time travel, flight, super intelligence, invisibility, and a few others. Producer Joe and Steve were beaten up pretty harshly for their choices. Octomom is about to lose her house, but she is being offered the balance of her mortgage payment by a porn company if she makes a sex tape. Zane had to go to his brother-in-laws' old house this weekend to decontaminate the residence. He filled up a dumpster and that isn't even close to having all of the garbage removed. We talked for a little while on how it's going to be strange when Free Beer leaves the studio this morning, because he was called for jury duty. Zane was scolded over the weekend because he called his triathlon clinic "Triathlon School". The teacher of the school was not happy about that. The family that posted the "David after the dentist" video last year has made a ton of cash off the video; supposedly in the low six figures. We had a follow-up story to one we talked about last week, where someone walked in to a Wal Mart and made a page announcing that all black people must leave the store. There's been an arrest made and they're calling it a hate crime. We took the opportunity to bust out some old PA Pranks. The show "Life" was on 4 different channels last night and Hot Wings was blown away at anything that was shown in slow motion. Based on the big news of healthcare from last night, we took calls and gave each caller 30 seconds to stump for why they were either for or against healthcare reform. A nine year old kid called 911 because his mom is having a baby and we had the audio this morning on the show. In the Headlines segment, we talked about the Twitter death threats towards President Obama and more about the Tiger Woods ESPN interview from yesterday. A middle school has now banned hugging, because the girls were hugging the boys to purposely get them aroused. Based on this, we took calls from people telling us the things that they used to do in school that would definitely get them kicked out now. Zane started the segment by giving the phone number to call in, and then declared that he was much better at giving the number than Free Beer, who tends to fly through it at times. Zane then told us about how he was bending over nude when his daughter walked in on him yesterday. We took calls from listeners about the times they walked in on their parents, or were walked in on while nude. To close the show, we got Free Beer on the phone from jury duty and tried to make him uncomfortable in a room full of potential jurors.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 07:00:00 GMT

We started the show on a variety of topics once again, including more in-depth discussion about the song The Gambler. Some guy came home from work and got in to bed, only to be woken up by someone else getting in bed with him. He assumed it was his wife, but ti turned out to be a complete stranger that had wandered in out of the cold. Zane has decided to edit the NCAA song that we played the other day, by removing every one of the teams mentioned that has been eliminated. He played it about 1000 times today. We decided that today would be the last Sportier Than Thou Challenge for a while. To celebrate this, Producer Joe was called upon to try and distract Free Beer while the game was going on. If you missed his attempt, watch the video in the Show Videos section. He got beaten up pretty badly over this. We got a great show code email about a wedding proposal based on the topic from a few days ago. The woman wrote in to say that her boyfriend basically passed her a ring, never actually proposed and then asked her to give him oral pleasure. What a guy! We relived the time that Hot Wings talked about how he's dreamed of running people over in his car before. Free Beer talked about how this is now in his head and he's paranoid if he is walking down the street. More Tiger Woods text messages have been released that are absolutely filthy. However, this doesn't seem to be a big deal anymore since everything is pretty much out in the open now. In the Headlines segment, we played a few of Joe Biden's joke bombs, including when he called Ted Kennedy "sexy" and also talked about some of the NCAA buzzer beater shots from yesterday's games. We interviewed a guy named Dan Martin this morning who will be embarking on an 18 month global triathlon. He's nuts! You can listen to that on the Audio page. We found an NCAA bracket that showed who would be the champion if it were based on the average salary of the universities graduates. That's posted in Cool Links. To close out the show, Producer Joe was at a salon getting his FUPA bedazzled. Have a good weekend. Talk to you Monday.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 07:00:00 GMT

We started the show talking about the phenomenon of how girls now dress slutty for EVERY SINGLE HOLIDAY. St. Patrick 's Day was no exception yesterday. Our engineer Sean dressed up a leprechaun and went to bars as part of a station promotion. He was groped by hot chicks everywhere. Zane got a message about screwing up his son's paper route the other day. They got complaints about papers not being hung neatly on the doors. She also heard that someone had been discussing it on the radio and managed to put the pieces together and track Zane down. Zane tested Free Beer's body fat percentage on the air this morning because he's starting P90X. The fun part of this was watching Zane try and add up some numbers and get an average. A guy is attempting to break a record by skydiving from 23 miles up in the stratosphere. Within 30 seconds, he plans to break the speed of sound. This seems like a bad decision and we talked about what would happen if he were to just explode on the way down. According to doctors, the NCAA tournament is the biggest time of the year to get a vasectomy. Guys get the procedure done and then just sit around watching basketball during recovery. A teacher called one of his kids a loser in a joking way may be in trouble. The mother of the child is pissed, but every one of the students is defending the teacher. We talked this morning about whether or not chicks reveal cleavage so that guys will look. We got Zane's wife on the phone to talk about her flaunting her boobs and whether or not she did it on purpose or not. We also got a call from a guy that said that his sister-in-law busted Zane checking her out in a creepy way at a hockey game recently. We talked to a guy this morning from New Zealand that bought ghosts in a jar for $2,800. Three hours in to the show, Intern Wiener 1 finally strolled in stinking of booze. Originally, we thought he was hungover but after further questioning, it was confirmed that he was still drunk. In the Headlines segment, we talked about the Texas Rangers manager resigning because of his admission of cocaine use, and a racist page made at a Wal Mart. Dumber Than Zane Trivia took a little twist today when the original contestant lost his phone connection, so we had to get a second contestant on the phone. The pot was $2,000. To help Wiener 1 with his hangover/drunkenness, Producer Joe made him a healthy hangover cocktail. It consisted of butter, hot sauce, Lucky Charms and other random disgusting things. We closed the show with a game of Name That Tune.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 07:00:00 GMT

Zane had to do his sons paper route again yesterday. They've decided that they're going to quit the route because it hardly pays anything. To celebrate quitting, Zane just threw the papers on the lawns and driveways instead of carrying them to the front door. While talking about a list of the most offensive TV shows ever, South Park was mentioned which somehow led us to talking about poor kids wiping lung meat on their outdated clothes. How does that happen? Free Beer had a hell of a day yesterday. After passing out while watching the video of Joe having gauze removed from his nose, he was rear-ended on the way home and then nearly hit again a few minutes later. Check the Cool Links section for a list of the dumbest college courses of all time, like the tree climbing course that Cornell offers. Free Beer witnessed a couple get engaged at the Big Ten tournament last weekend. Everyone agreed that proposing at a sporting event was not acceptable, because you have to be able to have sex immediately after the proposal. We then took calls from listeners describing their awful marriage proposals. We then replayed the call from a few years ago where the listener proposed to his girlfriend live on the air and described it as the greatest failure in marriage proposal history. A couple in Detroit left their child at the pizza place that they were at to celebrate his 3rd birthday. They didn't notice that he was gone for about two days! The NCAA has a list of words that you can not use when describing the tournament, so we had listeners on the phone to try and talk up our fake contest without using those key words. Tiger Woods is coming back to golf, and everyone seems to have an opinion and something to say about it. There was an awkward moment on American Idol last night when Ryan Seacrest got right up in Simon's face because he didn't like how a contestant was judged. Today was Zane's dad's birthday, so we got him on the phone to wish him a Happy Birthday and BS with him for a little while about a variety of topics. As usual, he did not disappoint! We played the audio from a news story of a 91 year old doctor that loves Chryslers so much that he has bought over 50 of them over the years. He can't even drive and still buys them. His voice sounds eerily similar to Herbert, the old pedophile from Family Guy. We closed the show talking about how Barry Williams broke up with his girlfriend by having his lawyer present her with official break-up papers. We took some calls from listeners to see if anyone could top that.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 07:00:00 GMT

We started off the show talking about a variety of topics, including how Engineer Sean is disappearing because of his medical diet, and also Mike Tyson's reality show about pigeons. Free Beer was at the Big Ten tournament over the weekend. While there, he met hate monger/gay basher Tim Hardaway, who also happens to be our syndicator's newest hire. Small world. Check out the Video Reel for the video of some idiot driving his car directly into a massive amount of boulders that covered the road after a massive rock slide. Producer Joe got nose surgery last week to help shank out his nasal passages and help him breathe easier. He then took video of the gauze being removed yesterday. Free Beer was apprehensive about watching the video because he has been known to pass out because of things like that. We managed to convince him to watch it, and sure enough, he passed out while we were live on the air! Producer Joe grabbed the video camera and Steve ran the board for the rest of the break. After the break, Free Beer was still on the floor but eventually recovered with no real memory of how long he had been out. You can see the video of Joe's gauze extraction on the Videos page. The video of Free Beer on the floor will be posted later today. Zane went to a piano bar over the weekend and had a very funny interaction with a woman who wanted to show off her oral skills. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductions took place over the weekend and we played a bunch of the audio including a few awkward moments. The guy that secretly taped Erin Andrews was sentenced to two and a half years in prison and had to pay her a small amount in damages. Toyota believes that the man who claimed his Prius would not stop is lying and the whole thing is a big hoax. A woman in NJ weighs 600 lbs, and has a goal to weigh 1000 lbs and become the fattest woman alive. Andre Agassi and Pete Sampras took shots at each other recently while playing in a charity tennis match. Check out the video in the Video Reel. Lots of new stuff posted today, so be sure to check it out. Talk to you Wednesday morning!

Monday, March 15, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 07:00:00 GMT

The show was off today because Free Beer is at the Big 10 basketball tournament and Producer Joe is getting nose surgery. Everyone will be back live tomorrow. Today's best-of show is still available as a podcast download and included the following segments: Hamster Euthanasia, Producer Joe's Wheelchair Hill Climb, Animal attack stories, The Pull Poll Match Game, Hilarious Names dot com prank calls, What do you hate about our show, Producer Joe's let's make a deal challenge, Women's panel on sexual fantasies, Things adults shouldn't wear, Master Flynn the Jedi lightsaber teacher, Zane's fake news report about a Japanese speaking baseball manager and the Make the operator laugh challenge including JMV. Everyone is back tomorrow, so we'll talk to you then!

Friday, March 12, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 08:00:00 GMT

The show was off today because Free Beer is at the Big 10 basketball tournament and Producer Joe is getting nose surgery. Everyone will be back live on Tuesday. Today's best-of show is still available as a podcast download and included the following segments: Marcus with the Unicycle Football League, Producer Joe's Penis Song Street Performer, Zane beat up for his scooter purchase after gas prices fall, The Math Wizard Interview, people and their money problems, Norm McDonald Interview, Too old to breast feed, Why do your neighbors hate you?, Producer Joe's Baby Talk Challenge, The second FBHW Failure report, Zane's old man sweater, People who keep squirels as pets, Hot Wings Alka Seltzer Bath and the Dave Attell Interview. Send in any best-of requests to steve@freebeerandhotwings.com. Talk to you Monday!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 08:00:00 GMT

The show was off today because Free Beer is at the Big 10 basketball tournament and Producer Joe is getting nose surgery. Everyone will be back live on Tuesday. Today's best-of show is still available as a podcast download and included the following segments: The Tono Tono guy, How you blew your tax return, Prophet Yahwey Interview, Producer Joe's Apples on the Driving Range, I'm glad I'm not BLANK, Zane's first marathon attempt and the bleeding that followed, I couldn't look cool doing BLANK, Zane's 13 second Monster Java Chug off record, Home remedy calls and stories, The soda pop bottle lady, Dude Shadoway interviews Jordan Knight, Body World Exhibit discussion, The wrestler with no arms and legs, Employee Confessions and 60 Seconds of Impressions from all show members. Send in any best-of requests to steve@freebeerandhotwings.com. Talk to you Friday!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 08:00:00 GMT

We started the show with an uplifting story about a guy that killed himself with a pencil...a giant corporate novelty pencil. He mashed his nuts with this blunt object until he died. We played the audio of a serial killer that went on The Dating Game back in the 70's just months before killing his first victim. We had quite a bit of fun making fun of his creeper voice. We'll be off tomorrow, Friday and Monday because Free Beer will be going to the Big 10 tournament. The mere mention of college basketball was enough to get Erica all whiny and she called in to complain about the non-stop sports talk on our show recently. She likes it when we beat up callers, making the transition to us beating her up pretty easy. The fact that she's on the phone makes it really easy to oblige her. A case involving the Phelps family and the Westboro Baptist Church will go before the Supreme Court. They will determine whether or not they are within their rights to protest at certain events. We posted a video in the Video Reel of dogs reacting to the Law and Order theme song, so we decided to do our own experiment. We played the song and had listeners call in with their dog's reaction. Unfortunately, most dogs didn't really give a crap and just sat there. We went over a list of what men and women want from their sexual partners. When the subject of lap dances came up, we asked Intern Lurch if he would rather give Steve or Intern Stephanie a lap dance. His answer was surprising. The New York Jets gave Antonio Cromartie a $500,000 advance in pay so he could take care of child support to his baby mamas. We then took calls from people who have been busy making babies with different chicks, and have or have not turned their behavior around. In the Headlines segment, we talked about Lindsay Lohan's lawsuit against E-Trade and also Lady Kanye's side to the story from the Oscars. Eric in Nashville was the contestant on Dumber Than Zane Trivia this morning, worth $1,600. Lurch told us this morning about a guy that came through the checkout line at the store he works at to buy condoms. When he realized he didn't have enough cash, he returned them to the shelf and came back a minute later with saran wrap and rubber bands. Based on this, we took calls from people who used homemade condoms. The amount of calls we got was a little scary. We played the audio of the 911 call from the runaway Prius that we talked about yesterday. Everyone agreed that this guy was an idiot for not at least trying to put the car in to neutral. Andy Richter was interviewed yesterday and said that he was indeed still bitter over what happened with the Tonight Show and Jay Leno. We closed the show talking about the new restrictions that have been put on reporters on a news radio station in Chicago. Best-of shows tomorrow, Friday and Monday. Send any requests to steve@freebeerandhotwings.com.

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 08:00:00 GMT

Hot Wings told us this morning how he took his car to the carwash over the weekend and how it leaked when the jets sprayed the high pressure water on it. Zane wanted to know if he freaked out when this happened, which then led us to talk about whether Hot Wings talked to his car or not. It was confirmed that he does indeed talk to his car, and her name is "Pretty". We read over an article that talked about what is considered sex by different people. It's pretty interesting to hear what some people don't consider to be sex, and what others do. While talking about Ms. Teen South Carolina and Amazing Race, we revealed our idea (that will never happen) about having an intern edition of Amazing Race. They would be paired up and would have to make it from one affiliate to the next using just their wits. Donovan McNabb and TO will be reunited on an upcoming episode of the TV show Pros vs. Joes, where they will play basketball against some former NBA players. Zane suggested an idea for a TV show, "Blacks vs. Whites", after we talked for a while about how there are no decent white guys in the NBA. Steve watched a documentary yesterday on bikers and we all agreed that we are pretty terrified of them and would never do anything to piss one off. We talked this morning about the new Station Mayor section of our website. Click the slide in the slideshow for more information on how to nominate yourself to be a Station Mayor! Toyota's problems continue, as a Prius had to be stopped by a cop car because the gas pedal stuck when it was going 95. The cop had to pull in front of it and jam on the brakes. We took a ton of calls about this topic, but no one seemed to have a credible answer about what the true problem with the cars is. A Grandmother waited in line for 43 hours so her grandson could be the first in line to buy ice cream from a shop that was opening. We then took calls from about the dumbest thing you've waited in line for. Carl Edwards appeared to wreck Brad Keselowski on purpose in last week's NASCAR race. We talked for a while about whether or not he should be disciplined for this. We played the audio of Dan Rather's comments that some believe are racist during the Headlines segment. Ryan O'Neal is pissed that Farrah Fawcett was omitted from a tribute at the Oscars, when Michael Jackson was. For a moment, we wondered why Michael Jackson was honored. We then remembered the mega-hit movie Moonwalker. Jermaine Jackson is putting on a tribute to MJ, but is calling it "Tribute By Jermaine". A guy asked a flight attendant to look at his testicles because he was experiencing some discomfort after tearing something. He thought that it was unreasonable of her not to do this. The guy that was interrupted by Lady Kanye at the Oscars was on Larry King last night. Larry gave the lispy talker a chance to do his (her) speech. We closed the show talking about the worst things found in the homes of hoarders. Talk to you Wednesday morning.

Monday, March 08, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 08:00:00 GMT

Zane started reading Mark McGwire's brother's book, which supposedly reveals the "truth" about his steroid use. The book seems very uninteresting and appears to simply be a money grab that reveals nothing new. A part of the book talks about Jay McGwire losing his eye in a BB gun accident and this reminds Free Beer of a buddy of his that lost his eye after an accident in shop class. His friend, Dave Scooch, shot a nail into his eyeball in shop class after cutting a board with a power saw. We then took a bunch of eye injury stories from callers. We welcomed our newest affiliate to the family, KMBQ AM 1340 in Wasilla, AK this morning. We wonder how this relationship will go, since we tend to let Sarah Palin have it on occasion. Over the weekend, Free Beer accidentally smashed former intern Benercrombie in the face with his racket while playing racquetball. He and Joe then taped up his head like a civil war vet and sent him for stitches. Some massive slob is now being referred to as Lady Kanye because of her blatant interruption of the director of a short documentary during his acceptance speech. You can see that in the Video Reel. Jill wrote in because she did not approve of us making fun of the beast. We talked a good amount about the Oscars this morning. Based on a story of a woman who crashed her car because she was shaving her vag while driving, we took calls from people who have been distracted in various ways while driving. Included in the calls were someone who had sex while driving, and some band dork that practiced playing his instrument while driving. Zane found a video of some coked-up boss jock DJ from the 80 and we had some fun with it this morning. Check out the video in Show Videos of us doing our boss jock impressions! We had a call-in segment today where we asked listeners to complete the following: "I'm in trouble today because __________. During a segment about men crying, we played the audio of Jake Delhomme crying like a sissy after being cut by the Panthers, and Coach from Survivor crying because he's not getting enough man hugs. Zane shaved his head again and plans to keep it like that for a while, at least through triathlon season. His priest just cant get used to it and made a big deal about it by calling him ugly yesterday at church. During the Headlines segment, we focused on the new sexual assault charges being brought on Ben Roethlisberger, a Berlin poker heist caught on camera, a woman who lost her hand trying to feed the bears and a breast milk squirter. Check out all of the new links and videos from today's show. Talk to you Tuesday morning!

Friday, March 05, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 08:00:00 GMT

We started the show with another beat-up session for show stalker, Mike Stalkter. He approached Zane and Producer Joe yesterday as they were leaving the station and asked them ridiculous questions about how many listeners they thought would show up to an event that rode bicycles, or something crazy like that. He then told Zane it was OK to make fun of him on the air still. Thanks for giving us permission. As China becomes more westernized, their kids are growing fatter. A Chinese gym teacher is arguing against the government taking away his university's funding, saying this generation will never be able to kick Japan's ass should they go to war. During CWTTAB, we got a call from a guy that witnessed a "plunger hand" incident, a technique that Eric Zane has both invented and perfected. Since no one can ever seem to beat Free Beer in the Sportier Than Thou Challenge, we held a special edition "Hot Wings is Sportier Than Thou Challenge". Free Beer witnessed two people exchanging a wave yesterday that was a little bizarre, and this got us on the topic of the "Jeep wave" and other stupid salutes between people that have something in common. Tiger Woods' caddie (i.e. golf club holder) weighed in on the whole scandal by saying that he was pissed at Tiger and this has been the most difficult part of his life. Check out the Cool Links section for a link to pictures of the worst banners or awards of all time. We then took listener calls on the awards that you have that should not be displayed. One guy had a Frisbee golf award. One listener took great offense to us referring to it as "Frisbee golf" and not by it's proper name "Disc golf" or "asshole sport" and sent us a very complainy email. In the Headlines segment, we talked about the rogue wave that hit a cruise ship in the Mediterranean and also about the shootings at the Pentagon yesterday. It's become a Friday tradition on the show to hold a Women's Forum, and today was no different. We got some emails suggesting that we should hold a men's forum as well, so we did an impromptu one in the next segment where we answered women's questions. A school in California was celebrating Black History Month, but some teachers got suspended because they had their children hold up signs and pictures of people that wouldn't exactly be described as being great black leaders. We closed the show with Producer Joe's latest stunt, the Headphone A-Hole Challenge. Have a good weekend. Talk to you Monday!

Thursday, March 04, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 08:00:00 GMT

We started the show talking about how we have a new station joining the show next Monday. Unfortunately, we still can't talk about what station it is just yet, but it's going to make things interesting, considering the nature of the show. We talked a bit about John Daly and all of the infractions that he had while on the PGA Tour. Some idiot senator thinks we should put Regan on the fifty dollar bill. We argued that no one really cares one way or the other. We got an email saying that former intern Pube Face pulled a "dont you know who I am" while on stage with his band recently. We took a few calls from people who experienced similar moments, including one guy that had an interaction with Tony Atlas. Zane gave us an update on the email we got yesterday from a woman that was in a sexless marriage. Zane interacted with both of them through email and they are now going to see a marriage counselor! A woman found out she was dating a homeless man. She kept him despite finding this out. She fell for him after they had a great conversation about dreidels. The hobo ended up dumping her in the end, which is very unfortunate for her. The Russian Billionaire that just bought the New Jersey Nets has walked away from a home purchase, losing his $53M deposit. The house was so big that it employed a team of 40 gardeners. A guy that works at JFK Airport in NY let his son direct ground traffic when he brought his kid to work. Zane and Hot Wings didn't think that it was a big deal, while Free Beer believed that a firing should take place. We really wanted to do an interview that was offered to us with Ken Jeong, but the timing just did not work out. Instead, Producer Joe convinced Ken to play along with a little prank on Intern Lurch. It was epic. Wiener 1 and Wiener 2 took each other on in Paired With an Idiot this morning because they seem to be very competitive. They will, from time to time, compete in various events. In the Headlines segment, we talked about the renaming of the Mark McGwire Highway and Jessica Simpson on Oprah to discuss her weight and the comments made by John Mayer. Ryan was the contestant on Dumber Than Zane Trivia this morning, worth $1,200. We talked to our old friend Mr. Skin on the show today to talk about the 11th Annual Anatomy Awards at MrSkin.com. While talking to him, he talked about how he's attended industry parties where groups of people bone on a mat in the middle of the room. This amazed us. There was a pretty awkward moment on American Idol last night between Simon and Ryan Seacrest that we talked about for a little while today, as well as the tension between Ellen and Simon. We closed the show with a game of Name That Blank. Talk to you Friday morning!

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 08:00:00 GMT

Free Beer started the show talking about how a friend of his couldn't believe yesterday that he wasn't following QB training camps closer, specifically mentioning statistics that absolutely no one cares about. Sacha Baron Cohen has been banned for the Oscars because there was fear that he would alienate James Cameron and force him to walk out. Roger Ebert was on Oprah recently showing off his new fancy computer robot voice. Surprisingly, it sounds pretty close to what he used to sound like when he had a voice. While talking about how we're now on a sports talk station in WI, we decided to do our own sports show called "On the Bench with Hot Wings and Zane". The show even took some calls! Check out the Cool Links section for the story we talked about from Australia. Apparently, it started raining live fish recently. To set this up, we played some Christian rock songs and made fun of how bad most Christian rock really is. This caused email from numerous fussy people all morning about how we need to give Christian rock another shot. Why are some listeners so sensitive about certain things? Why do we HAVE TO LIKE everything that you like? We played two of the greatest repeat calls of all time...the Dr. Deegan call and the call from yesterday about someone that was caught cheating. We attempted a segment this morning where listeners would call in and tell us why we would never forget them. Except for one of the last calls which was decent, this ended up being a bunch of liars calling in with boring stories. Some dudes built the world's largest amateur rocket. Check it out in the Cool Links section. Zane helped his son do his paper route yesterday and they shattered the record and did it in just 51 minutes. His son was the boss, though, and Zane was a bitchy employee. During the Headlines segment, we talked about MJ's son Blanket allegedly being shot with a stun gun by Jermaine's son, and about the new app called TigerText. Based on Conan O'Brien's story on a podcast recently about the worst roommate ever, we asked and took calls from people with bad roommate stories. Sarah Palin was on Leno last night and did some very Leno-esque stand up comedy that was pretty boring. She's painful to listen to. Scientists in South Korea are working on a super booze that will sober you up quicker and lessen the effects of hangover. In other words, they're developing the greatest invention man will ever know. A female listener wrote in to us to get advice about her sex-less marriage. She's tried everything but they can't get it going. Talk to you on Thursday!

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 08:00:00 GMT

Welcome to our newest station, AM 1570/95.3FM The Score in Appleton, WI! Free Beer said this morning that he feels like the show Big Love has jumped the shark because on the show, two of the main characters settled a dispute by playing a game of tetherball. A guy in a wheelchair lost his eye at an AC/DC concert when his buddy bumped the joystick sending him rolling off the podium he was watching the show from. We determined that the bulb of the joystick stuck in his empty eye socket while his real eye shot out of his penis. A guy was killed after his car collided with a pole, sending power lines falling to the ground. He didn't die because the lines fell on him, though. He died when he took a leak on the power lines and was electrocuted. We talked about the show The Bachelor a bit this morning. George in NJ called in to talk about how he's sick of working overnights at the family business. He wants to be a professional poker player, is super whiny, says "you know" too much, and has a worthless degree in philosophy. We were pretty sure that no one with a philosophy degree actually has a job where they are using it, so we asked for calls on this. We got one. Check out the Cool Links section for a link to an article we talked about this morning that listed the 8 things your cell phone will replace in the near future. Patrick called in to tell us why us using our cell phones for everything is a sign that the end of times are near. More crazies then called in to say the same thing. The new cast of dancing with the stars has been announced. Check out the cast in the Cool Links section. We asked people to call in if they're going to fire someone or be fired today. A guy called in that works at a bar and fired his bartender on the air because he's a sucky employee. The director of the movie Precious put his foot in his mouth at the NAACP awards when he said that the star of the movie weighed 350 lbs. We of course pointed out that its true and she had no reason to be offended because she is indeed huge. Based on this, we took calls about foot-in-mouth stories. In the Headlines segment, we talked about Jay Leno's first night back as host of The Tonight Show, a global warming suicide pact and the Olympics. In the Cool Links section, you'll find a link to a list of the most addictive sounds of all time according to an advertising firm. They also listed the top 10 branded sounds. Zane took that opportunity to annoy the hell out of everyone by playing a vibrating phone noise over and over again. While trying to unclog a drain yesterday at his house, Free Beer nearly barfed all over the place because of the gelatinous blob that was clogged in the drain. We closed the show with one of the greatest repeat calls ever, and replaying the firing phone call from earlier that apparently was a hoax.

Monday, March 01, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 08:00:00 GMT

Zane talked about his interactions with people this weekend who didn't know he lost a bet and is now bald. He was mocked by an 8th grader and responded by telling him he had buck teeth. Billboard Magazine published a list of the top money making musicians of 2009 and we went over them early on the show today. The topic of squirters came up once again this morning, and Zane said he could show people how to do it by demonstrating on Steve. The ATF seized a bunch of airsoft guns from a toy/hobby store because they said that they could easily be turned in to machine guns. We took some calls on whether or not this was possible. Everyone seems pretty bummed this morning because Team USA lost the gold medal game yesterday vs. Canada. We played the audio of Joe Michelliti interviewing USA goalie Ryan Miller after the loss, focusing on some of the stupid questions he asked. It seems like most people are OK with USA losing to Canada, but just hate the fact that it was Sydney Crosby that scored the winning goal in OT. Based on this, we took calls from people that hate someone irrationally. A funny moment ensued when a caller confused Jeff Beck with Glen Beck. There was a massive earthquake in Chile this weekend that measured an 8.8 which is tied now for 5th largest in recorded history. There were fears that a tsunami was heading for Hawaii, but it never did happen. Director Kevin Smith was kicked off of a Southwest flight for being too fat, even though he bought two seats and was seated safely and comfortably. Based on this, we had people call in with their "wake-up call" stories. A guy on an airplane scratched off a winning lottery ticket and when told he would have to wait to claim the prize, he ate the winning ticket out of frustration. Since the flight originated in Poland, Zane took that as an opportunity to bust out some awesome Polish jokes. During the Headlines segment, we talked about William Shatner's bizarre "appearance" at the closing ceremonies, the condom shortage in the Olympic village, a fake Ryan Miller interview and Tiger Woods getting dropped by Gatorade. The question was asked to Free Beer this weekend about whether or not Hot Wings was co-sleeping with his wife. We got some calls on this subject and talked about it for a while. Towards the end of the show, we took calls from people about the jokes or pop-culture references that they always hear about their name. Check out all of the new links and videos from today's show. Talk to you Tuesday!

Friday, February 26, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 08:00:00 GMT

We started the show by talking about all of Kenny Rogers' great songs, and going over a list of things that will help you live to the age 100. Guyism.com had a list of 14 things that may be in your house/apartment that women are turned off by. Zane has been answering a ton of P90X related emails lately because of his great results from working with the program. Some kooky woman named Leslie called in to ask if we even have real feelings because of our constant ball busting. While she may have had an actual question and/or point, it was hidden by here weirdo breathy behavior. Some radio buddies of ours hosted a sweet sixteen party in exchange for a $50,000 donation to a charity of their choice. The event was held at a $24M mansion and cost a ton of money. We took a lot of calls today in response to the phone experiment that we brought up yesterday. A friend of Free Beer's had to switch phones with his wife because she thought he was cheating. Surprisingly, some listeners actually tried it! We had a special edition of the Women's Forum today with most of the questions being listener-submitted. Two high school teachers in Canada are in trouble for performing a lap dance at a school pep rally. Check out the story in the Cool Links section of the website. During the Headlines segment, we talked about Mike Milbury calling the Russian hockey team "euro trash" and iTunes selling their ten billionth song. After talking for a full segment about the Olympics, we talked to Olympic Bronze Medalist Andrew Weibrecht. He seemed very sleepy. We talked for a little more today about the Sea World whale attack. Talk to you Monday morning!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 08:00:00 GMT

We started off the show by reading a great email from a guy that thought he was too smart to fall for the salt shaker hoax a few days ago. He waited as long as he could, but couldn't help himself and eventually tried it. Five minutes later, we revealed that it was all fake. Zane spent his first day as a bald man yesterday and had a lot of funny interactions with both coworkers and family. Since we felt bad for him, we decided to give him a few wigs throughout the morning to help make the transition a bit easier on him. The Situation from Jersey Shore had a photo shoot with a super model, and it made all of us mad because he has zero talent. Since Steve is from NJ, Free Beer asked him to give all of us douchy Jersey Shore-esque nicknames. Free Beer's buddy was asked by his wife to trade phones for a day as a test to see if he might be a cheater. We all seemed to agree that while it may be insulting and an inconvenience, if you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to worry about. After getting calls from people that either agree or disagree, we got an email that told us that we as men shouldn't condone this behavior. Zane responded simply with 'whatever cheater'. We interviewed comedian Greg Giraldo on the show. If you missed it, you can check out the unedited interview on the website. Free Beer split his melon open when he bashed himself in the face with a racquetball racket yesterday. Hot Wings then talked about a time that he hit himself in the face with a crowbar. When Zane began to tell his story, he was thrown off when Free Beer got up and walked out of the studio to give Wiener 1 the business about answering the phones. A short moment of his scolding was caught on the air. In the Headlines segment, we talked about the trainer at Sea World that was killed by a KILLER whale. Is anyone really surprised by this? Tim in MI was the contestant on Dumber Than Zane Trivia this morning, worth $800. Check out the Cool Links section for a list of the dumbest car and truck accessories of all time. While talking about this, we were reminded of the viral video with Bubb Rubb and Lil Sis concerning whistle tips. Grayson, Hot Wings' six month old son laughed hysterically yesterday at a tennis ball bouncing, then barfed all over Papa Hot Wings' pants. We played the audio this morning. We closed the show with a game of Name That Blank.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 08:00:00 GMT

Warning: There is a spoiler later in this recap about the Race For the Ages. If you don't want to know how won until after you watch the video or listen to the podcast, you might want to avoid reading this. A school principle asked for more from his teachers by making them stay an extra 25 minutes a day and come in for two weeks of training over the summer each year. When the union fought back, the principle went old school and just fired them all. This brought up talk on unions, including their stupid policies and horrible fashion sense (i.e. satin embroidered jackets, etc.). The Kansas City Royals mascot, Slugerrr, shot a hot dog in to the stands and hit some dude in the eye. He's now suing them because of his injuries. Zane's car was hit while parked at his son's school recently, so he is now driving a rental car while his is being fixed. This reminded us of the last rental car he got, a Buick with a giant clock and urine smell. He revealed that this car also had the bad smell, so we sent Producer Joe down to investigate just how bad it was. Check out the Cool Links section of the website for a list of the world's 10 most dangerous foods. We talked about that this morning and some of them may surprise you. A man broke IN to a jail to have sex with his girlfriend, so we took calls from people that have really gone out of their way for sex. A breakdown of the Olympic broadcast was done where they broke down the amount of time the broadcast was in commercials, replays, and commentary. We played the audio of Canadian figure skater Joannie Rochette breaking down after her skate because of her mother passing away just days ago. Tony Kornheiser has been suspended for making disparaging comments about Hannah Storm's outfits. We all thought she looked really good, especially since she's 47 years old. We talked about an article that gave the figures for how much money the winners of American Idol make in the following year. Some are already broke. In the Headlines segment, we talked about the EMT audio from the day Michael Jackson died and Travis Barker fighting the paparazzi. The Race For the Ages took place last night, and we announced the winner on today's show. SPOILER: Zane lost! He then proceeded to get his head shaved in studio during the show. You can see a picture of how he looks on the photos page. There is also a training video and the actual race video from last night's race posted in the Show Videos section. Watch them and enjoy!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 08:00:00 GMT

It is being alleged that Taylor Swift has been acting like a diva on tour lately. People say that she has been screaming at people and demanding that all doors be opened for her. Zane refused to believe it because he's a big Taylor Swift fan. This led to talk about some other high-maintenance celebrities that we have come across in the past. We went over a list of the 7 reasons that pleasuring yourself is good for you. Zane's belief is that you should rub one out either pre-date or mid-date, but not both because you want maximum volume and distance. It's Tuesday, which means that it is Race For the Ages day! We got Zane's competitor, Benercrombie, on the phone to talk trash to Zane. He failed at trash talk, though, because he did not seem to be at all confident in his abilities. Zane happened to run in to Benercrombie at the gym last night. Joe was also there and shot some footage of them training, including a close-up of Zane's package. Since the Olympics are going on, we felt that it was a good idea to replay Producer Joe's luge stunt from last year. The video of this can also be seen in the Joe's Stunts archives in March, 2009. The daughter of the man that flew his plane into the IRS building has spoken out about the tragedy. She said that she believes he was a courageous man for committing this insane act. Some a-hole radio guy made a fan page for this guy on Facebook also. At the Olympics during the Canadian curling match, the crowd started singing the national anthem. They ended up winning, but who cares. It's curling. Christina wrote in to tell us that her husband believed that the audio we edited to make it sound like Tiger Woods used drugs and boned kids was real. Based on this, we took calls from women who knew their husbands are stupid. We revealed this morning the truth about the salt shaker test that we did yesterday and got a ton of response from that. Was Bruce Willis stoned on GMA yesterday morning? Check out the Video Reel and decide for yourself. Andre Agassi revealed in his book that he broke all of his tennis trophies when Brooke Shields was involved in a sexy scene on the show Friends. We took calls from people with their stories of extreme jealousy. The Race For the Ages is tonight, so expect a full recap of the event tomorrow morning!

Monday, February 22, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 08:00:00 GMT

We started the show one member short today as Zane strolled in a few minutes in to the broadcast. The conversation turned quickly to mega rock band churches, the hot chicks in their bar clothes, and the "kidz zones". Zane wants to attend a service at one so he can do some hand clapping. If you managed to find the game on MSNBC last night, you would have seen Team USA Hockey beat Canada. Why was this game on MSNBC while speed skating was on NBC? Is hockey really that unpopular? Zane's wife has become the same type of hockey mom that he makes fun of after every game. Their son's team losing actually drove her and her friend to drinking. We played a bunch of audio today from Tiger Woods' press conference from Friday, including some audio that you may not have heard about steroid use and having sex with everyone. Zane and Benercrombie ramped up the Race For the Ages this weekend with numerous text message exchanges. Zane texted him to tell him about his rigorous workout routine, while Benercrombie tried to sleep off a massive hangover. Based on the bet that they have going, we took calls about huge bets that you may have lost. The IRS was going after a guy's house, so he decided to stick it to them by bulldozing his house to the ground so they couldn't get it. This seemed stupid to us, especially since his bank had the house listed as collateral for his business, which was failing. We conducted an experiment from Johns Hopkins University this morning that said if you act as though you're shaking salt from a salt shaker in to your mouth, you will actually taste salt. Miraculously, it seemed to work and we got a ton of emails from people that actually tasted it as well. During the Headlines segment, we talked about the USA/Canada hockey game last night, the birthday present that an NBA player gave to himself, and the Tiger Woods press conference and numerous responses to it from his mistresses. We closed the show talking about work dreams/nightmares that you may have, based on a bad radio dream that Free Beer had recently. Talk to you on Tuesday!

Friday, February 19, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 08:00:00 GMT

We started off the show playing the Black Betty remix of the Epic Beard Man video that we found yesterday. You can check out both of the videos in the Video Reel. The subject of Zane's incredible poo art came up. He takes the world's longest and most artistic poos in the world and then sends pictures of them to all of us. Awesome. Our winner from the Daytona trip, Needy Chuck, called in to thank us for the awesome time that he and his wife Not Needy Dawn had last weekend. Producer Joe was strong-armed in to joining a racquetball tournament. He has tried to quit about 10 times but the girl running the show just won't let him. It's really not a tournament, either. It's a league that will apparently never end. He's been getting his ass kicked by old gross fat men on a daily basis. Zane said this morning that he is a little nervous to race Benercrombie next week. Yesterday while at the grocery store, Free Beer overheard a man arguing against organ donation for no apparent reason. Based on this, we took a bunch of calls from listeners who had the same opinion. A woman was stopped at the Philadelphia airport because, according to her, she was wearing a Dallas Cowboys jersey. Now she's making a big deal about it, even though it was just a random search. The woman that did the voice of the girl with Down's Syndrome on the Family Guy episode took a shot at Sarah Palin by saying she should get a sense of humor and stop parading her son around looking for sympathy and votes. We talked for a little while this morning about the guy that flew his plane in to an IRS building in Texas yesterday. Producer Joe found a website of a woman that cries at every movie she sees; even happy movies and comedies. Hearing her cry could be the most annoying thing ever heard. During the Headlines segment, we talked about how CNN reporter Tony Harris is really dumb and Spike TV's new show Back Nine. Kate Gosselin used to call Jon's penis "stubby" because it was three inches long. Based on that story, we took calls from women that had pet names for their man's penis. We talked about an article that goes in to detail about how to hold your breath for long periods of time. The new world record is just shy of 20 minutes! There's a new website called PleaseRobMe.com that uses social networking sites to determine when people are out of town so they can be robbed. A 528 pound woman had a baby, which means that someone had to have sex with a woman over 500 pounds. That's gross. We closed the show with an Eric Zane stunt, instead of a Joe Stunt. It was Eric Zane's Muscle Exchange, where he had to try and pay for goods at a store by flexing and posing with no shirt on. Have a good weekend!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 08:00:00 GMT

We started the show talking about James Cameron's ego, and the debate on whether or not Avatar should be in the best picture category. Zane got all of us up to speed on all of the latest happenings in the youth hockey scene that his son is involved in. We revealed today that there will be a new "mystery station" joining the show soon, but we were unable to reveal where it is located for many reasons. During CWTTAB, a caller brought up the Zane's P90X pictures that are now on the website. Right after this, Free Beer brought up a stunt that he thought of for Zane where he would pay for goods with his muscles instead of money. Miraculously, Zane agreed to do it and he will do it tomorrow! A BBC reporter admitted on television that he killed his AIDS-infected lover years ago by smothering him with a pillow because he was suffering. You can see that video in the Video Reel. Free Beer watched I Love You Man last night and laughed out loud when he heard the "Shes squirting!" drop that we use on the show all the time. This led to an extensive talk about squirting. We went over a list of all of the things that have gone wrong so far at the Olympics in Vancouver. It seems like they put about 2 weeks worth of planning into it. While discussing his various feats of strength, Zane said that if he had to race former intern Benercrombie again, it would be different this time. He thinks he would him. Benercrombie called in to take him up on that challenge, so they will be racing again next week and the loser will have to COMPLETELY shave their head bald. The captain of one of the boats from the TV Show Deadliest Catch showed up at our RV in Daytona and Steve was the only one that knew who he was and cared. He got a picture taken with him and you can see it on the Photos page. Based on this, we took calls about the person you met that no one else cared about. During the Headlines segment, we talked about how Tiger Woods will break his silence tomorrow, Joe Biden's ashes and Barry Melrose saying "chicken shit" on live TV. Mark was the contestant on Dumber Than Zane Trivia this morning, worth $400. A man was awarded $4.1M after being falsely imprisoned for a decade. Show conspiracy theorist Bishop called in to give us the details of the case. EMT's in Pittsburgh we unable to drive their truck three blocks through snow to someone who called 911, so they just left. The guy called 911 10 times over the course of a few days and eventually died. We closed out the show by playing a round of Name That Blank.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 08:00:00 GMT

We kicked off the show by reading a list of what Catholics in England say we may want to consider giving up for Lent. Hot Wings the heretic was criticized by Zane for turning his back on the lord. Zane's son burst into tears at church the other day because he was in a great deal of pain. Zane later found out that it was because he wore the wrong shoes, and his size 10 foot was crammed in to a size 6 shoe. We talked for a little bit about the Jesus team that was on our flight to Daytona last weekend. They commandeered the plane and were assigning seats so their whole tribe could sit together. No one was a fan of this. Some guy sold his old Nintendo and 5 games for 13 grand on eBay. Apparently, one of the games was pretty high up on a super rare game list. We were in Daytona over the weekend for the race with our contest winner from a few months ago. Keep an eye on the website for pictures and videos, as they will be uploaded over the next few days. We talked about all of the happenings in the winter Olympics from the weekend, including the Georgian luger that died. No one could believe the amount of times that NBC showed the footage of him dying on television. In the Headlines segment, we talked Darrell Green's 4.43 40 at 50 years of age, Drew Brees' awkward interaction on Oprah and Sarah Palin being mocked by Family Guy. The new We Are the World video has been released and is good, for the most part. What is not good, though, is Wyclef and his awful bellowing whenever it was his turn to sing. Producer Joe saw a 60 Minutes piece about a ponzi scheme involving the pigeon king. Mocking of Morley Safer's voice once again proved to be more fun than the original intended topic. Zane's son has a paper route now and Zane is disgusted by the amount of time that it took him to deliver all of the papers. He has now challenged him to a paper delivery-off. He claimed what took his son three hours will take him a mere 70 minutes. We closed the show talking about the video that we saw that shows a pelican attacking an Australian TV reporter. We then took a bunch of calls from listeners about how they have been attacked by animals. Check out all of the new links and videos from today's show. Talk to you on Thursday!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 08:00:00 GMT

We were off today because we were in Daytona for the race. Today's show was best-of and will be posted as both the full and segmented podcasts. We'll be back live tomorrow. Today's show included the following segments: Our new mic processing and a visit from Goldenthroat, Weird stuff you do for friends, Mystery guest - The Montgomery Flea Market guy, Producer Joe's Britney Spears Makeover, My co-workers don't know blank about me, Matt Lorch does the worst sports cast ever, Dude Shadoway with Dr. Elmo, Zane's 911 call revealed live on the air, Zane wants to buy a pistol, Hot Wings vs. Joe in the great robot debate, and Chris Hansen from To Catch a Predator. Talk to you tomorrow!

Monday, February 15, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 08:00:00 GMT

We were off today because we were in Daytona for the race. Tomorrow's show will also be best-of and will be posted as both the full and segmented podcasts. We'll be back live on Wednesday. Today's show included the following segments: The biggest thing you've lost and our verbal crutches, Howie Mandel Interview, Plane emergency stories, The Death Test, New DVD's, crappy DVD's and Snarf, Zane's wife wants a new bulldog and anal glands, Producer Joe's Are These Your Panties Challenge, Will drinking water the day after you drink wine get you re drunk?, Zane's wife buys him clothes for the family photo, Zane's dad talk, Billy from BuyItOff dot com, Producer Joe picks up girls, The first playing of the Joe and Ben Show and the Face recognition website.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 08:00:00 GMT

Steve won employee of the month yesterday from the radio station. The funny thing is, he doesn't even technically work for the radio station. Free Beer talked this morning about the Johnny Weir Real Sports piece that he watched recently, and also about another story from Real Sports about how strict various drug testing agencies are when it comes to athletes. We talked for a while about an old boss, Jim Kelly, and his "noontime nuggets" segment where he would play stuff that no one had ever heard of. We even got Producer Joe to play "hit the post" in the style of Jim. We'll be off on Monday and Tuesday because we'll be in Daytona, and best-of shows will be aired. Steve has had the shows completed for a week or so, but we messed with Zane by telling him that it was his responsibility to run best-of since he's not coming to Florida with us. This was a lot of fun. We talked for a full segment about stupid Ouija boards and whether or not "Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board" is really possible or not. We talked to comedian Dom Irrera this morning. We did two segments of the sexiest love songs of all time and played them in a Name That Tune-style. You can see that complete list in Cool Links. During Headlines, we talked about how Alec Baldwin's life is a big mess again. We got a women's panel on the phone this morning to give us their opinion about a survey we came across on the internet that asked questions about men and sex. Earlier in the week, we had asked listeners to send in love songs that they had either written for someone, or that someone had written for them. In the spirit of Valentines Day, we played some of them on the air this morning. Some were good, some were definitely not. To close out the show, Producer Joe went out for his latest stunt, the I'm Your New Manager Challenge. We'll be in Daytona at the race all weekend, so best-of shows will air Monday and Tuesday. Talk to you when we get back!

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 08:00:00 GMT

The video store that Free Beer regularly goes to is closing. When leaving the store, he made the girl working there cry when he coldly pointed out that she was losing her job. We read over a list of the top office buzz words and jargon of all time and took a bunch of calls from listeners with their contributions. We got an email from listener Jeff who was upset that we would make fun of the Coast Guard yesterday, even though it was all said tongue in cheek. To celebrate this, we once again played the entire Beach Boys catalog. People Magazine did an article on the Duggar family asking whether or not their continued over-breeding is too much. Check out the Video Reel for a video of the nerdiest World of Warcraft loser ever. A Saudi ambassador signed a contract to marry a woman he had never seen before, but when it came time to lift her veil and give her a kiss, he was surprised to see a cross-eyed woman with a full beard. Based on the story of the man who survived for 27 days after the Haiti earthquake, and the man that had to be saved when he was stranded in the snow, we were hoping for calls from people who have had to survive or have been rescued. We nearly sat in silence for about two minutes because it took a little while for the phones to start ringing. It was very awkward. After a listener spotted Producer Joe in a super bowl commercial, we decided to see if anyone else could do the same. We finally revealed that it was the Bud Light commercial, and you can see the video in the Video Reel. We took a call from a guy named Courtney and when Zane questioned it, Hot Wings stated that there were plenty of athletes named Courtney...yet could think of exactly zero athletes with the name Courtney at that time. There are new 9/11 pictures that have just been released that you can see in Cool Links. We got a bunch of crazies on the phone, including friend of the show Bishop, to tell us why they think this is another 9/11 conspiracy. We closed the show with another late edition of Name That Blank.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 08:00:00 GMT

We started the show talking about the awful weather that is covering most of the areas that the show is heard. Everyone is being hit with either a bunch of snow or rain. We read over a list of things that may make you a happier person whether you know it or not. People who were smiley in high school are less likely to get divorced. During this segment, we also broke down Zane's crazy 4 hour a day workout regimen and how much he hates it, but can't stop. After hearing an interview with an Olympic athlete that was pictured in Sports Illustrated, Zane wondered if it truly was empowering to be nude or half nude in a magazine. We seemed to be getting a bunch of pissy emails and Facebook and message board posts from people lately, so we took the opportunity to mock people that are too sensitive and tried to pick a fight for any reason. A father is in trouble after water boarding his four year old child because she refused to recite the alphabet. The band the White Stripes is accusing the US Air Force of stealing their song and using it in a commercial. We started the break by comparing the songs from the different branches of the military. The Coast Guard's, of course, is the entire Beach Boys catalog. This led to a ton of talk and phone calls about the rivalry and smack talk between the branches. This morning, we busted out more of the most bizarre sex-ed videos of all time, this time featuring a creepy old man and a mentally challenged boy. We asked listeners to send in love poems and songs that they have written for significant others, or significant others have had written for them. We'll play these on Friday as part of the Valentines Day spectacular (Note: We'll play them, but there is no "spectacular"). In the Headlines segment, we talked about how Nancy Kerrigan's dad's death has been ruled homicide and the GW billboard in Minnesota. Michello Obama will be tacking childhood obesity in a new campaign, so we were able to take a bunch of calls on that from listeners. Johnny Weir, the gayest figure skater ever, says figure skating is not gay. Pretty much everyone disagrees. During this segment, Hot Wings lost another battle with a listener about skating manliness when he busted out another classic comparison. We played Lurch's solo play-by-play from the Super Bowl at the end of the show. You can see the video on the Videos page. We closed the show talking to pro wrestler and member of the band Fozzy, Chris Jericho. Listen to that on the Audio page if you missed it.

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Free Beer and Hot Wings — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 08:00:00 GMT

Zane started the show talking about how he went to watch his daughter play backetball. Her coach is really hardcore and went bananas and sweated his balls off like he was in the Final Four. We read some material that radio personality Mancow posted on a prep service we use. It's just a bunch of stupid one-liners. He seems to be a bit dickish. We're headed to Daytona this weekend to attend the Daytona 500. We talked this morning about what they need to do to make racing exciting again. Some suggestions included the use of weapons, and a black power car. We read an article that talked about the winter Olympic sports and how much the costs are to train for certain events, just to have a chance to make it into the games. It was during this segment that Producer Joe had a bad joke breakdown and derailed things. We have a new section on the website that enables anyone to submit any question to us about any topic. It's called "Ask Us Anything". Send in a question if you feel inclined! Hot Wings found a video of people that really like pandas. They are really sad because the pandas are moving back to China and they won't be able to spend hours at a time staring at them. Check out the Cool Links section for a link to a website that sells furniture made out of the back halves of wrecked Corvettes. There was an internet poll that we talked about this morning that asked whether people would rather spend Valentines Day with their significant other or their pet. 27% of people chose their pets. We got some awesome losers on the phone that agreed. During this segment, Hot Wings also offered up some great relationship advice for one couple that needed to spice up the relationship a bit. Stephen Colbert called Sarah Palin a f'n retard after she defended the way that Rush Limbaugh used the derogatory term. Inside Edition did a follow up piece on Desiree Jennings, the girl that claimed she got Dystonia from a flu shot. While talking, she went in and out of different accents and crunk walks. Everyone seems to believe she's faking it. Michale Jackson's doctor is being charged for having a roll in his death. Also, we learned that Michael did indeed have that disease that made him white, and he also was nearly completely bald. In the Headlines segment, we talked about how the Super Bowl was the highest rated TV show in history. Then, we started talking about the previous record holder: MASH. The final episode featured a woman choking her baby to death so the North Koreans wouldn't find them. This led to talk about serious-themed "special episodes" like when Edith from All in the Family was raped, and Maude getting an abortion. Former intern Benercrombie tried to make fun of Free Beer by demonstrating how serious he was doing play by play for the Super Bowl. His video is posted with the rest of ours on the Videos page. We learned this morning what house humping was. People go to open houses and bang when no one is around. Drew Brees was on ESPN radio yesterday when it was interrupted by a call from the President. Based on this, we wondered why the President has to call the winning team from every big sporting event. To close the show, we read over a list of the 9 things that women think guys spend too much money on. Check out all of the new videos posted this week on the Videos page. Talk to you Wednesday!