My name is Andy and I'm the new web guy for Free Beer and Hot Wings. I typically never write in the first person, but this story warranted it. I feel it warranted it since every guy on the planet is pretty protective when it comes to their junk, me included. I don't let my genitals near anything dangerous. You would never catch me going pantsless near a piece of factory machinery. You would never catch me lettin' it all hang out near an unstable meth lab. So, why the hell are there still stories like this?
Michael Smeriglio is not the brightest of humans, as demonstrated by his stupid mustache and hat. While he was cleaning his gun he accidentally shot not only his penis, but he also clipped one of his berries and the bullet ended up lodged in his thigh. Of course when police arrived, he tried to lie at first and say someone shot him, but when you're shot in the penis... you tend to not have time to play games. He fessed up and found himself with junk that looks like it just got out of an 18th century pistol duel and his buddy a charge of possession for marijuana. Oh yeah, that's right cops found weed at his place and charged his friend Joseph Lamar.
Hopefully this will end his family line and procreation will not be possible.